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Hello all, I've recently been through a horrible situation and wanted to share it with you - and perhaps get some advice.

 

Ok so I met my partner 2 months into University, and we had been together for 7 years up until a couple of weeks ago.

 

Rewind 2 months and we were perfectly happy, looking for potential houses to buy (deposit saved up for) and a wedding venue booked for 2015. She starts a new job back in September 2012 at a Primary school and would always tell me about this "sleazy cringey" teacher who tries it on with all the female teachers on a night out and whose wife works in the school office. She would often say how "sorry she felt for the wife", who gave birth a month ago.

 

Over the last month or so she had started to be very protective with her phone, taking it to the toilet, shower and always tilting the screen when using it in bed or in the car while I was driving. I guess the writing was on the wall.

 

Over the last couple of weeks I had asked her if she was definitely ready to buy a house, definitely wanted the wedding etc and I was always met with "yes of course".

 

Fast forward to 30th June and I was at Silverstone with a University friend for the BritishGP (a gift from her for xmas). Having checked her email account 3 days later it transpires that while I was there she was exchanging pictures (taken in our bathroom) with this other guy and discussing their previous night together and the ways in which she was keeping it from me. They were discussing what they wanted to do to eachother etc (you can use your imagination). It was tough to read. She had basically sent the whatsapp conversation to her email in order to be able to delete it from the phone.

 

So, in summary, we were 2 weeks away from exchanging on a very nice house (first time buyers), with a wedding booked - and then this happens. Was she going to tell me? Before signing on the line? All questions going through my head.

 

I cleared all her things out, cancelled everything and havent seen her since she collected it all with her mother and friend. Now, my predicament. Do I contact the wife (I have the address) and bring the house down? I am concerned at ruining the baby's life if the family falls apart but I know for a fact this guy will do it again. The wife deserves to know, but should she? All 3 of them work at the same school (wife of course on maternity leave).

 

I have pictures, videos and messages exchanged for evidence, they are both bricking it about my next move. On a personal note, yes I was extremely lucky to suss this out before it got too late and very messy.

 

Thanks for reading.

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Well, let me ask you this. If the wife knew that this was going on but you didn't, wouldn't you like to know? Don't you have a right to know what kind of a girl you're matched up with? And wouldn't you like the choice to make a decision about your relationship with that information.

 

This wasn't your fault, so don't feel bad about telling her the truth.

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She deserves the right to make her own decisions about her marriage. This is probably not his first rodeo as he is notorious(as told you by your now ex) and it worked on your fiancé so assume it worked on others. The Board of Education may want to know that this teacher is a predator. Contact his wife, he is risking her health and possibly their baby's. By keeping the information from his betrayed spouse you become their accomplice. Be gentle but offer her proof.

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Hello all, I've recently been through a horrible situation and wanted to share it with and perhaps get some advice.

 

Ok so I met my partner 2 months into University, and we had been together for 7 years up until a couple of weeks ago.

 

Rewind 2 months and we were perfectly happy, looking for potential houses to buy (deposit saved up for) and a wedding venue booked for 2015. She starts a new job back in September 2012 at a Primary school and would always tell me about this "sleazy cringey" teacher who tries it on with all the female teachers on a night out and whose wife works in the school office. She would often say how "sorry she felt for the wife", who gave birth a month ago.

 

Over the last month or so she had started to be very protective with her phone, taking it to the toilet, shower and always tilting the screen when using it in bed or in the car while I was driving. I guess the writing was on the wall.

 

Over the last couple of weeks I had asked her if she was definitely ready to buy a house, definitely wanted the wedding etc and I was always met with "yes of course".

 

Fast forward to 30th June and I was at Silverstone with a University friend for the BritishGP (a gift from her for xmas). Having checked her email account 3 days later it transpires that while I was there she was exchanging pictures (taken in our bathroom) with this other guy and discussing their previous night together and the ways in which she was keeping it from me. They were discussing what they wanted to do to eachother etc (you can use your imagination). It was tough to read. She had basically sent the whatsapp conversation to her email in order to be able to delete it from the phone.

 

So, in summary, we were 2 weeks away from exchanging on a very nice house (first time buyers), with a wedding booked - and then this happens. Was she going to tell me? Before signing on the line? All questions going through my head.

 

I cleared all her things out, cancelled everything and havent seen her since she collected it all with her mother and friend. Now, my predicament. Do I contact the wife (I have the address) and bring the house down? I am concerned at ruining the baby's life if the family falls apart but I know for a fact this guy will do it again. The wife deserves to know, but should she? All 3 of them work at the same school (wife of course on maternity leave).

 

I have pictures, videos and messages exchanged for evidence, they are both bricking it about my next move. On a personal note, yes I was extremely lucky to suss this out before it got too late and very messy.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

No no no no. You did it wrong. You shouldn't have snooped. According to some you would have found out later. Snooping is the devil and wrong no matter what SMH. How much later? It doesn't matter. Snooping is wrong whether you think you had evidence or not.

 

Good for you that she is out of your life. Disgusting woman

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Hello all, I've recently been through a horrible situation and wanted to share it with you - and perhaps get some advice.

 

Ok so I met my partner 2 months into University, and we had been together for 7 years up until a couple of weeks ago.

 

Rewind 2 months and we were perfectly happy, looking for potential houses to buy (deposit saved up for) and a wedding venue booked for 2015. She starts a new job back in September 2012 at a Primary school and would always tell me about this "sleazy cringey" teacher who tries it on with all the female teachers on a night out and whose wife works in the school office. She would often say how "sorry she felt for the wife", who gave birth a month ago.

 

Over the last month or so she had started to be very protective with her phone, taking it to the toilet, shower and always tilting the screen when using it in bed or in the car while I was driving. I guess the writing was on the wall.

 

Over the last couple of weeks I had asked her if she was definitely ready to buy a house, definitely wanted the wedding etc and I was always met with "yes of course".

 

Fast forward to 30th June and I was at Silverstone with a University friend for the BritishGP (a gift from her for xmas). Having checked her email account 3 days later it transpires that while I was there she was exchanging pictures (taken in our bathroom) with this other guy and discussing their previous night together and the ways in which she was keeping it from me. They were discussing what they wanted to do to eachother etc (you can use your imagination). It was tough to read. She had basically sent the whatsapp conversation to her email in order to be able to delete it from the phone.

 

So, in summary, we were 2 weeks away from exchanging on a very nice house (first time buyers), with a wedding booked - and then this happens. Was she going to tell me? Before signing on the line? All questions going through my head.

 

I cleared all her things out, cancelled everything and havent seen her since she collected it all with her mother and friend. Now, my predicament. Do I contact the wife (I have the address) and bring the house down? I am concerned at ruining the baby's life if the family falls apart but I know for a fact this guy will do it again. The wife deserves to know, but should she? All 3 of them work at the same school (wife of course on maternity leave).

 

I have pictures, videos and messages exchanged for evidence, they are both bricking it about my next move. On a personal note, yes I was extremely lucky to suss this out before it got too late and very messy.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

I don't think it is your business to say anything to that woman, you are going to destroy their life.

 

I know many will say that the one who destroyed their marriage was the man who cheated, I agree but you will help him doing that by destroying her perception of the reality. She would not be hurt if he didn't cheat but she would not be hurt if you would not tell her either.

 

It is other people marriage and you have no right to interfere. Ignorance is bliss... ;)

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I don't think it is your business to say anything to that woman, you are going to destroy their life.

 

I know many will say that the one who destroyed their marriage was the man who cheated, I agree but you will help him doing that by destroying her perception of the reality. She would not be hurt if he didn't cheat but she would not be hurt if you would not tell her either.

 

It is other people marriage and you have no right to interfere. Ignorance is bliss... ;)

 

Oookay so if you were being cheated on, wouldn't you want to know? How can you say ignorance is bliss, or is that just because it isn't happening to you? How can you be ok with this other woman being exposed to STDs? You have no compassion. This woman and her baby are better off without a man like that teacher.

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No no no no. You did it wrong. You shouldn't have snooped. According to some you would have found out later. Snooping is the devil and wrong no matter what SMH. How much later? It doesn't matter. Snooping is wrong whether you think you had evidence or not.

 

Good for you that she is out of your life. Disgusting woman

 

He snooped because there were flags. And good thing he did otherwise he'd be stuck being married to a wh0re.

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I don't think it is your business to say anything to that woman, you are going to destroy their life.

 

I know many will say that the one who destroyed their marriage was the man who cheated, I agree but you will help him doing that by destroying her perception of the reality. She would not be hurt if he didn't cheat but she would not be hurt if you would not tell her either.

 

It is other people marriage and you have no right to interfere. Ignorance is bliss... ;)

 

 

He will destroy nothing. He did not have the affair. There is no reason to make the OM get away without consequences. The OMW if left in the dark is left living a lie.

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Hey Jimmy,

 

Sorry to hear about that, something similar happened to me not so long ago.

The year I was going to tie the knot (my other half knew just how committed and in love I was about our relationship), my partner cheated on me and then tried to keep it a secret. I suspected something was wrong and found all the emails / messages, confronted her, she admitted to everything, I broke it off and we moved on.

 

Where am I going with this?

 

Well, what we did takes not only a great deal of strength, but also conviction to do the right thing. Being cheated on and breaking up is never easy.

 

The right thing in this situation would be sadly to tell his wife as withholding the information from her is just plain wrong. The truth in this day and age of FB/Twitter/YouTube/Drunken nights always comes out and the longer you leave it the more painful it becomes to deal with.

 

Good Luck and keep us posted how you get on.

 

My 3 pennies...

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It-is-what-it-is.
Hello all, I've recently been through a horrible situation and wanted to share it with you - and perhaps get some advice.

 

Ok so I met my partner 2 months into University, and we had been together for 7 years up until a couple of weeks ago.

 

Rewind 2 months and we were perfectly happy, looking for potential houses to buy (deposit saved up for) and a wedding venue booked for 2015. She starts a new job back in September 2012 at a Primary school and would always tell me about this "sleazy cringey" teacher who tries it on with all the female teachers on a night out and whose wife works in the school office. She would often say how "sorry she felt for the wife", who gave birth a month ago.

 

Over the last month or so she had started to be very protective with her phone, taking it to the toilet, shower and always tilting the screen when using it in bed or in the car while I was driving. I guess the writing was on the wall.

 

Over the last couple of weeks I had asked her if she was definitely ready to buy a house, definitely wanted the wedding etc and I was always met with "yes of course".

 

Fast forward to 30th June and I was at Silverstone with a University friend for the BritishGP (a gift from her for xmas). Having checked her email account 3 days later it transpires that while I was there she was exchanging pictures (taken in our bathroom) with this other guy and discussing their previous night together and the ways in which she was keeping it from me. They were discussing what they wanted to do to eachother etc (you can use your imagination). It was tough to read. She had basically sent the whatsapp conversation to her email in order to be able to delete it from the phone.

 

So, in summary, we were 2 weeks away from exchanging on a very nice house (first time buyers), with a wedding booked - and then this happens. Was she going to tell me? Before signing on the line? All questions going through my head.

 

I cleared all her things out, cancelled everything and havent seen her since she collected it all with her mother and friend. Now, my predicament. Do I contact the wife (I have the address) and bring the house down? I am concerned at ruining the baby's life if the family falls apart but I know for a fact this guy will do it again. The wife deserves to know, but should she? All 3 of them work at the same school (wife of course on maternity leave).

 

I have pictures, videos and messages exchanged for evidence, they are both bricking it about my next move. On a personal note, yes I was extremely lucky to suss this out before it got too late and very messy.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

I am so sorry for the painful situation you find yourself in.

 

You should tell the wife. Tell her who you are and that you have evidence if she wishes to see it. That you have cancelled your wedding, house etc...

 

Give her a way to contact you for further details or questions. She may not believe you, she may not want to do anything about it but she needs to know so she can choose her path.

 

You need to be tested for STDs and so does she.

 

You are lucky you found out before the wedding. So sorry.

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