readytodate123 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Is the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater" really true? I wanna know because my bf cheated on me once, I was furious when I found out, but I got over it and decided to give him a second chance. But.... I still have this feeling at the back of my mind that he might cheat on me again..someday.. I dunno. Please share your stories! Thank you. Xo Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 YES. It's so much easier to cheat the second time. It's like taking the second hit of heroin. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I actually believe the statement is false in some cases but the risk might not be worth it most of the time. (Back to bed, wholigan) Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 If one searches for the common LS description of what 'cheating' or 'infidelity' is and applies it universally, anyone who has been 'unfaithful' or has 'cheated' in their lifetime will always be known as 'unfaithful' or 'a cheater'. The description goes with them to the grave. Same with 'liar', 'bigot', 'thief', 'alcoholic', 'drug user', 'rapist', 'murderer', etc, etc. Do it once and be infamous forever. That's how the world works. If one is attractive and/or charismatic, people will often give one a 'pass', on any of the above. Such anecdotes abound. Look at any politician in the news. Can you accept and be accepting of a person who has cheated, on yourself or someone else, in their life? Up to you. Finding a LS infidelity 'virgin' can be a pretty daunting task, especially as you age. I hope you and your BF can work things out and be accepting of each other. Personally, I'm always aware of the potential, for myself or anyone. The way I see it is, today I kept to my boundaries. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I don't know! I do believe in this statement for about 90 % or something Not all cheaters are bad people, sometimes people cheat because of reasons out of their hands Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I've cheated before. I've also been cheated on, so I know what it feels like. Never again will I put anyone through that. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I don't know! I do believe in this statement for about 90 % or something Not all cheaters are bad people, sometimes people cheat because of reasons out of their hands I went on a date with a woman from OLD a while back and we went on 2 dates. on the 2nd date she told me about her ex husband and he used to be verbally abusive to her her. he put her down all the time. she told me she cheated with a man from work and he comforted her and made her feel good about herself. I understood the situation but thats no reason to cheat. if youre not happy in a relationship/marriage, walk away. dont cheat. I didnt call after the 2nd date. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I don't know! I do believe in this statement for about 90 % or something Not all cheaters are bad people, sometimes people cheat because of reasons out of their hands Sure. And not all murderers are bad people. Cheaters have weak boundaries, sense of entitlement and no concept of right and wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I've cheated before. I've also been cheated on, so I know what it feels like. Never again will I put anyone through that. And im guessing you realized this AFTER they cheated on you, correct? you get what you give. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kimberlydoll Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) 90% of the time yes. Its my opinion that women that stay with cheating men are weak. Odds are, if you cheated on your boyfriend he would get furious with you, dump you and never think about you positively again. Women need to buck up and start thinking like men. I have very rarely met a cheater that didnt do it again. Some learned for some time and felt guilt, but their character flaws will always come out in times of stress. Cheaters are 100% in control. Just think about this: your boyfriend started making out with a girl, slowly took her clothes off, fondled her breats and butt, stuck his weewee in her hooha and thrusted in her for prob around 5-10 minutes. When during that process were things "out of his hands?" You are in some strong denial. Im not sure how people can live with cheaters. He will just get better at lying about it in the future Edited April 3, 2013 by kimberlydoll 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) I would share mine again..guess I could copy it in full from na49s thread. But in short, yes! My ex was given way too many chances and four guys later ofc ..I didn't have proof till the end -only hints. Remorseless people won't stop. Remorseful people will Edited April 3, 2013 by Toddbt12y1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Will someone who cheats on one partner cheat on all of them? No I don't necessarily think so. But will someone who cheats on one partner cheat on THAT partner again? Heck yeah, I'd say like 90% chance! Why? Because they know they can get away with it and even if they get caught, you'll forgive them. Never take back a cheater. You should dump that douchebag ASAP. He will cheat on you again because he doesn't respect you...he didn't respect you before but now that you've forgiven him its dropped even MORE. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mint Sauce Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Sure. And not all murderers are bad people. Exactly: the doctor who euthanizes a terminally-ill patient in great pain is in principle a murderer, but he is not a bad person. Nor is the husband of that mind-dead patient who sits by her bed night-and-day for years, but for that one time he hired an escort, an act which he regretted so much afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author readytodate123 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 90% of the time yes. Its my opinion that women that stay with cheating men are weak. Odds are, if you cheated on your boyfriend he would get furious with you, dump you and never think about you positively again. Women need to buck up and start thinking like men. I have very rarely met a cheater that didnt do it again. Some learned for some time and felt guilt, but their character flaws will always come out in times of stress. Cheaters are 100% in control. Just think about this: your boyfriend started making out with a girl, slowly took her clothes off, fondled her breats and butt, stuck his weewee in her hooha and thrusted in her for prob around 5-10 minutes. When during that process were things "out of his hands?" You are in some strong denial. Im not sure how people can live with cheaters. He will just get better at lying about it in the future Truth hurts Link to post Share on other sites
kimberlydoll Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Truth hurts People on this site cannot handle the truth, unless it is what they want to hear. Thats why I have such a bad reputation on here. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 People on this site cannot handle the truth, unless it is what they want to hear. Thats why I have such a bad reputation on here. People are very good at twisting the truth to fit their agenda. They can also be tactless. One thing to consider for the "keepin it real" crowd. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kimberlydoll Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 People are very good at twisting the truth to fit their agenda. They can also be tactless. One thing to consider for the "keepin it real" crowd. Alot of people that post here prob dont describe the situation accurately. But its the internet and you can only go off of what people write. I feel no need to be tactful when the vast majority of men on this site write about using women like cattle and then say women are worse than them. Dont get my sympathy Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I would never seriously date a woman with prior history of cheating. That is a disqualification for a serious relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Fudge Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 No it isn't true. When I was younger, immature and allowed my self-worth to be determined by my sexual conquests I was a serial cheater. Now that I'm an actual man and not just a boy trying to imitate one I have no need to look outside my relationships for validation. The change didn't happen overnight but once it did it was permanent. I believe this happens to most people and it's a very small percentage who stay serial cheaters throughout their whole lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author readytodate123 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 (edited) I think some men cheat when they are young and immature, because they wanna go out more often and meet & flirt with new girls. But as they grow older, they come to appreciate love, and when they find their true love, they don't cheat anymore. Edited April 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Is the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater" really true? Oh you are going to have people say yes and no to this. I'm going to say yes, its really true. One, because the same people that say they will never cheat again, also say that it can happen to anyone. Well if the latter is true, then it can happen AGAIN. And in any case, a cheater might decide they don't want to lose their significant other, and simply choose not to actively cheat again. But I believe the desire is still there, they just refrain from cheating. Like when a man/woman ends and affair because they will lose their familiar family life and spouse, house, etc. I believe it when they say they won't go down that road again, but I believe it is simply out of fear, not because they really want to. Therefore I believe once a cheater, always a cheater. Just like the shark on Finding Nemo, "Fish are friends, not food". But boy once he got a smell of blood again, all bets were off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
So happy together Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Sure. And not all murderers are bad people. Cheaters have weak boundaries, sense of entitlement and no concept of right and wrong. You must have been cheated on. I am with someone who left his wife for me. He had been married 28 years, it was his first affair, and mine. We are very happy and he has boundaries, is very giving, loving and a very strong person. He made a conscious decision because his wife was a drunk and he was looking for love and affection. Well, he found it and it's her loss. NO not all people that cheat once will cheat again. All people that cheat are not serial cheaters. Sometimes things just happen. I'm not saying it was not a decision we made, because it was, but there were reasons. It wasn't just "Oh, you're hot". Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 You must have been cheated on. I am with someone who left his wife for me. He had been married 28 years, it was his first affair, and mine. We are very happy and he has boundaries, is very giving, loving and a very strong person. He made a conscious decision because his wife was a drunk and he was looking for love and affection. Well, he found it and it's her loss. NO not all people that cheat once will cheat again. All people that cheat are not serial cheaters. Sometimes things just happen. I'm not saying it was not a decision we made, because it was, but there were reasons. It wasn't just "Oh, you're hot". There is still time, and he could always repeat the process, would be rather just if so. Excuses to cheat are excuses to cheat, rather than get a Divorce, and hey, no one on LS has to like me for saying this, but it is true. But then again, maybe you both have found happiness. Who can say? Just be cautious when troubles arise. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 But then again, maybe you both have found happiness. Who can say? Just be cautious when troubles arise. Most cheaters Ive know, female and male, cheated again if they werent teenagers or young adults when they did it. Meaning, all the cheaters who cheated as an adult (who were supposed to be developed), did it again. Some took longer to eventually cheat, others did it again pretty quickly. The difference is, how long it took for trouble to come up in their next relationship and thus, how long it took for their impulsiveness and coping skills to emerge. How somebody acts in times of trouble says alot about their character. I knew several girls with bfs that were adults that cheated on a previous gf that said he was "an awesome boyfriend"...until things got rough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Not always but a person needs to some serious soul searching and work on themselves if they are serious about changing. It's a long process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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