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is bf being disrespectful or is this normal?????


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I've often discussed which celebrities I find attractive with the girl that I Love, I've found we have different tastes in women. She prefers blondes. All it means is that your boyfriend feels comfortable enough with you to say what he's thinking, which isn't always a good thing. Whether or not it's "disrespectful" or "normal" is just semantics. Are you okay with it? If you're not, simply inform him of your prudence, tell him to watch his mouth, and tell him to keep his preferences between him and his DSL modem late at night when you're away.

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lostforwords

I used to be bothered by comments like that but not any longer for quite some time actually.... its just a guy thing.... some guys feel the need to do it some guys dont.... just take it with a grain of salt and hell... if you have to maybe you should start voicing which actors you think is hot or not.... my ex and i use tomake a game about it... hed reference who he thought was hot and id counter with a "Nah such and such is hotter than her......" etc..... it just got to be a fun thing after awhile....

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If he just stated how hot she was I wouldnt worry too much,But now if he stated it and then said to you she was hottier than you then I be upset.Alot of men and woman do make comments about how someone looks on Tv.If it truelly bothers you ask him when your around not to say anything like that.Voice your opinions to him.

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I let my husband know how hot I think Brad Pitt is. And Nicolas Cage. And the guy who lived in our dorm who looked like a movie star. He seems OK with it. I think it really depends on whether someone if comparing you unfavorably to another person, vs. just pointing out someone attractive, similar to the way you would discuss art at a museum. Is his tongue hanging out, or does he ignore you so he can ogle at her?

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Originally posted by dyermaker

Are you okay with it? If you're not, simply inform him of your prudence, tell him to watch his mouth, and tell him to keep his preferences between him and his DSL modem late at night when you're away.

 

 

Great, now we can look forward to another "My bf looks at too much porn late at night!" post in about a month....

 

:laugh:

 

 

Hey dyer, Do you prefer dark haired woman? Have you found that you're almost an island in regard to this when you're among other men?

 

Just wondering, I do exclusivley prefer dark haired woman and it seems like no other men in the world do.

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thanks for the posts, everyone..i think what bothered me about it was the way he said it. also, he used to compliment me a lot, ALWAYS saying how hot i was and if he could have painted his perfect-looking girl she would look exactly like me. we have been together 14 months and in the first few months he used to get turned on just looking at me even when i was fully dressed. now not only has our sex life waned tremendously, he hardly compliments me anymore, nor does he tell me he loves me. i am lucky if i hear it 3 times a month. i havent gained weight or anything. i never had insecurity issues. i always thought i was very pretty, not stunning like girls in magazines...although i have been offered modeling contracts. four years ago, during my senior year in high school i was voted "best looking" and "best body." but as most women know, it doesnt matter if every other guy thinks youre hot, if your own boyfriend doesnt, the other guys' opinions dont matter. i kind of feel like im being taken for granted, that he doesnt appreciate me anymore. when youve been in a relationship for a while, does the words "i love you" get played out?

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I don't think words can get played out, maybe the feelings change and people are no longer willing to communicate how they are feeling, or what they are really thinking, but the word "love" isn't something that can lose it's flavor or unique place in our language. And I don't think that changes all that much from the first time you say it to your 60th wedding anniversary.

 

I still say "I love you" to my gf several times during the day, and I mean it. We've been together around 3 years now.

 

Have you told him how you're feeling? Basically roll over the salient points you've typed above.

 

I know, easier said than done, but still.

 

Good luck qt.

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befuddled11

It's only disrespectful if YOU feel disrespected when he speaks like this.

 

As for whether it's normal? Well, I guess "normal" is a subjective, individual and relative concept.

 

If anything, I think it's kind of tacky of him to talk that way in front of you. It sounds kind of crass and uneducated.

 

I wouldn't think most 'classy' guys would refer to a woman as being "as hot as sh*t"...unless he's got a severe case of Pirate-Mouth, or he's a long lost descendent of the Klampetts. :)

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Fedup&givingup

I agree with Befuddled ROTFL!!!! Sorry if I seem like a nussiance, Bef., but I agree with what you think (so far, anyway LOL).

 

Seriously, I think it's natural to be attracted to celebrities as they set the pace in general. I think the way your BF expressed his attraction was tasteless, completely. I think his discretion should have been there. I don't think that's the real problem for you, though after reading your second post. I think the fact that your boyfriend isn't doting on you as he used to is the key issue. His comment about the woman on TV just added insult to injury. I think that's what you need to focus on more :)

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Originally posted by wideawake

Hey dyer, Do you prefer dark haired woman?

Absolutely.

Have you found that you're almost an island in regard to this when you're among other men?

Yes. There are some, but not many, among the people I know.

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