Joe_3 Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 I am 25, strait, married, and I love my wife. My wife loves me, but she claims to be bisexual, which I'm alright with as long as she is equitable in the matter - ie. lets me join her and her future possible "friends," or have my own "friends." She however, doesn't like this plan. She doesn't even really want me involved - "at least at first." And when I suggest having my own "friends" (who would be women, as I'm strait) she gets pissed off and says I don't love her. Also, she has a feeling she might want more than a physical relationship with a women. This really bothers me, as I don't believe humans are capable of polyamory - ie. genuine feelings of love for more than one person. Is my wife a lesbian? If not, what should I do? PS - we don't have sex as much as we used to. Thanks for any help you can provide. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Having you there is not really fair to her, you are just taking advantage of the fact that she is bi. You either need to accept that she will have gfs without you around or get divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joe_3 Posted February 27, 2004 Author Share Posted February 27, 2004 Exactly - I'll take advantage of that or disregard that she claims to be "bi." There's no use in it unless I can play with her or have my own girlfriends on the side. It's the only way the situation is fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Um, If your wife wants to have sexual relationships outside the marriage that is infidelity. Just because she is bi-sexual does not mean that an affair with a woman is not cheating, nor does it give her license to have extra-marital affairs, nor does it entitle you to do the same. If you two decide to have an open marriage - then set some boundaries and I mean seriously talk about having other partners, what precautions you will take, where and when these will happen and agree on health testing a couple times a year. You might also want to set limits on how often you will each see the same person -- it it pretty easy to develop feelings for someone else when you are having sex with them. It sounds to me like you would both be better off getting a divorce. Just because someone is bi-sexual does not mean that she can't fall in love and make a commitment to one person (regardless of their gender) and stick to it. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 you might rather dislike me from the other thread, but i think here you are correct. actually, i better understand your intense reaction on the other thread after reading this one. she's trying to have her cake and eat it too, and that is simply is not fair to you. you have the right to ask her to be faithful to you, and, if that's not possible, you have the right to ask for a divorce. both of you trying to be happy with other partners i can only see ending in messy tragedy, wasted time, and acrimonous, expensive, divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by Joe_3 Is my wife a lesbian? Magic 8 Ball say "YES!" bro... She probably just isn't ready to really admit it to herself, much less you yet. She's going to do whatever she wants though, meaning being with other woman, perhaps even behind your back. You might want to think about where this is all going before you even worry about what she may or may not be. Peace bro, hope things work out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by Errol Um, If your wife wants to have sexual relationships outside the marriage that is infidelity. Just because she is bi-sexual does not mean that an affair with a woman is not cheating, nor does it give her license to have extra-marital affairs, nor does it entitle you to do the same. I recall reading an news article awhile back about a New Hampshire divorce case where a judge said the man's wife didn't have an affair "according to the law" because it was with a woman and not a man. It was a case of the judge being an idiot and the law not yet being caught up with society I guess. Anyway, it sounds like its her way or the highway. Which isn't fair or respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
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