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My guy... My freedom... I need to choose


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I'm 18, a junior in college (thanks to college-in-highschool program) and I feel like my childhood is slipping away from me WAY too fast.

 

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year - to be honest, everything is very nearly perfect. I hardly ever fight - I believe we'd had a total of 3 fights in the past year... quite an accomplishment. I love him SO much - he has helped me through so many things, including a suicide attempt at one point. We split up after leaving for college - my ONLY other relationship was a long distance one, and a very big mistake - but we got back together a couple months later despite the distance.

 

I can honestly say that I've had random crushes on several guys I've met, but I have made all well aware that I have a boyfriend, and nothing has ever happened between any - I've kinda protected myself from any problems by making myself "unavailable" to other guys. However, there is one guy who doesn't seem to care about the fact that I'm part of a relationship and tried to get me to kiss him. Now I know my boyfriend is totally NOT ok with cheating of any kind. His parents are divorced, and his first big crush are two big reasons why he considers cheating the worst thing one could possibly do in a relationship. So I know I would never try to hurt him by cheating on him, but I can't help being so terribly tempted. I do have to admit that when I'm missing attention, I will flirt a little for fun, or wear something to get guys' attentions, but I know I'd never actually go through with it.

 

I guess I feel like I haven't had the chance to live a little. I've only been on a date with two guys in my entire life, and yet at the same time I'm extremely emotionally needy - I need that emotional support that you get from a relationship, or I get depressed and potentially suicidal. It's like I want to try dating other people, but I know I'd eventually go back to my boyfriend in the end. However, I know that if we did take a break and I dated other people he'd be so hurt - as if I were cheating.

 

Basically I have a choice:

1. be single and possibly lonely/depressed

2. be with my boyfriend (who I love) and continue to be plagued with temptation

 

I know the guy who wanted to kiss me is not right for me - he reminds me of my ex-boyfriend, and if he's willing to kiss a girl with a boyfriend who's to say he isn't willing to kiss another girl while in a relationship. I just need to know whether I should ignore temptation or go for it. My boyfriend completely satisfies me, but when he's not physically around (he's long distance, remember), I can't help but miss his attention.

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Another option:

 

3 - find a therapist with whom you can explore your need for attention and deal with your issues

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