dizzyboy Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 i had posted before saying that my girlfriend of 6 years (were both 25 now)had recently left me because she was feeling pressures in her life that she wasn't doing anything productive, had no direction, wasn't feeling satisfied with her accomplishments, she loved me so much but that she had to figure some stuff out and hoped I would sort of wait for her. she said it wasn't about dating other people but that she just needed space to figure out her life. so i left the house to give her space. we said we would take a month and see how it went. a month has gone buy and she has rarely called me or really just called to say hi or see how i'm doing. i would email her with no response or call her cell with no response. i didn't want her to feel pressured or like i was bugging her, but just wanted to know basically that she was alive. she called me 2 weeks ago to say she was moving out of our place and getting a place with her friend that she works with. fine, whatever. anyway, she called me today to say that she's gotten a signifcant amount of stuff out and that i could go by and get stuff. So i did, while i was there i looked thru the trash to see if she had thorwn anything away of mine, just to see. well, i found an abortion pill and a pamphlet...dated almost a month ago, way too close to the time i left. What the hell would you do at this point? i'm hurt and confused and angry and upset. She doesn't call me. How could she not call me after 6 years being together? she told me a millions times she loved me and we were even engaged till she got weird on me. what the hell do I do???? I know that it couldn't have been me, because we hadn't had sex or anything for about a month prior to our split because she was being standoff-ish with me. I'm so hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Whoa, calm down. It may have been one of those things they push on people at a clinic (although, I'm pretty sure you need a prescription). It doesn't mean she purposely went and got it. Plus, if it's unused, I'm guessing she didn't need it. If you think something's wrong, approach her with it. We obviously can't answer your question definitively. It also sounds like she's moving forward with her life. Maybe you can ask her to meet with you if she's ready to. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 my girlfriend of 6 years... recently left me because she ...wasn't feeling satisfied with her accomplishments, she loved me so much but that she had to figure some stuff out and hoped I would sort of wait for her. she said it wasn't about dating other people but that she just needed space... Well...how to break this to you...it was about experiencing sex with other people, in all likelihood. A woman who wants to accomplish more would never send her loving and supportive partner away...it doesn't compute! We cannot be sure that: * she was ever pregnant (the pill was unused, after all) * if she was pregnant, it was not by you (cycles can be irregular) * she has had sex with other(s) (see points 1 and 2) * whether the pill was only an abortion pill (what were the markings?) It is entirely possible that she had a pregnancy scare of some sort - either because of a late period or because of an episode of unprotected sex - and she got the pill. I would overlook the details of what you found when rifling through her garbage - I don't think it matters now. The real issue is where your relationship is going. I'm sorry to say that I think it has already gotten up and left. what the hell do I do???? Learn to live without her. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dizzyboy Posted February 3, 2004 Author Share Posted February 3, 2004 I know she was. She confided in a mutual friend and i just brought it up to our friend on the phone 10 minutes ago, and she told me it's true. She was pregnant. She took a test and it was positive so she had an abortion on the date that was on the package. She did in fact have sex with a guy she works with as well, the week after we split, she told this to our friend. So the proof is there. Even if it was mine, we'll never know now and if it was, why couldn;t she have told me?....why? Because she slept with someone else that's why, when she told me there was no one else. My heart is broken. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate Learn to live without her. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 I could have told you something was up when she said the whole "Not about dating other people. Just need space to figure things out. Give me a month. Wait for me." thing. It's almost always bull and I wish that women would learn to just be honest about that type of thing. ***I'm sure women want us men to be honest about lots of things as well. And that not all women are dishonest about such things.*** As everyone is saying -- Learn to live without her. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Faux is right. If you women want out of a relationship just be honest with the guy. Don't say 'I need space', because that's not what you really need. If something is bothering you in a relationship, you need to communicate! Dizzyboy, are you saying everything else in your relationship with her was perfect? Neither of you did anything wrong during that time? Most people who are truly happy with their mate won't just up & leave. If your mate is not happy with life in general (either work, school, family, etc..) then its their mate's responsibility to help them get through it. Not being there for them emotionally & physically would lead them to something like this. Dizzyboy, she's done alot of thinking and this past month was probably her way of just making sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dizzyboy Posted February 4, 2004 Author Share Posted February 4, 2004 Everything was great, I thought. I mean she was telling me she loved me and so lucky to have me in her life up until the week we split up. This was such an easy out for her, But why did she want out? How could she go and be with someone else so fast? I guess this is My out now. This is the sign that, she's not the girl I thought she was and that we can never be the way we were, since This has happened. Granted, we were broken up, but so soon after the split? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetmind20 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 dizzyboy, first off, i am sorry you are hurting so much. it is never easy to have to move on after having loved someone and for so long. you asked why she could just go with someone else so fast? there could be two possible reasons. perhaps, she emotionally detached herself from you awhile ago ( you two were not intimate for a month or so- that can build a wall and maybe she wanted it that way so it would make it easier not to feel so close to you anymore). second possible reason.. maybe she just wanted to stop thinking about her past and of you.. maybe she just wanted to block things out and go with a random person whom she thought she had no responsibility to, or past with. maybe this was her way of cutting ties with everything that was. i don't know her reasons. only she does. have you talked to her at all? if so, did you ask her about things- what was really going on? you will never get the true resolution you need (I know a resolution seems impossible at this point- but it will come in time) if you don't have a heart to heart talk with her. you need to be able to express what she did to you to her.. let her know how you've felt. take some of that hurt and anger and put it in her lap. maybe she'll realize that she's not the only one who gets hurt when she is dishonest. i wish you the best of luck. do keep us updated. and if you want to talk further, i am here. *sweet Link to post Share on other sites
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