bdbmwer Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) gonna summarize as much as i can. she broke things off sept 18th. gave the whole "break" line and "ill probably come back to you with a little time off" and said she wanted to stay friends. We have class together mondays and wensdays and sit near each other. First day back she texts me then calls me wanting to hang out till class I said she can come if she wants. she says yes and never shows up and class that day was SO awkward with no talking so out of respect for myself i called her and initiated NC because shes giving mixed signals. a week goes by and I fear being percieved as spiteful(idk why) and thought well maybe LC would work if i act nonchalant. So i go into class and smile and let her do all the talking thinking I was getting somewhere then i found out she left me for another guy who shes been hanging out with now and at the end of our relationship. that made me fed up so I came into class the wendsday and gave her some things of hers and sat far away with the intention of going NC again without announcing it. Apparantly this had a profound affect on her cause this is where she started being immature. She calls me after class to meet up so we do and she tells me she got kicked out of her house and i asked her what she wanted me to do about it( i dont want to be a doormat) she said it was a mistake calling me so i wished her the best of luck and left. Next week rolls around and im continuing my NC pattern and once again that night after class she texts me asking why i deleted her from fb which i did 2 weeks ago! ignored. Now for the reason this story is in this section! starting last wendsday when were in class she talks way louder then necessary with this fraternity guy she has NEVER paid attention to untill now and was like "can i have a piece of paper" then immediately "thanks i freaking LOVE you!" and then tried to flirt more at the end of class". I brushed it off and figured it would be a one time deal. thursday her friend tries to pry into my life, i dont respond, then my ex texts me asking our professors email, no response, THEN she calls me later and I dont answer this either. Went to the club that night ran into her friend that i ignored while i was dancing with a new girl(HAHA!). Come back to class today and she does the SAME thing with a different guy. This time one i used to talk to when i was back there and she would talk crap about him now shes like "omg i saw you friday I was gonna tag you in photos but were not facebook friends we need to change that!" and various flirting near the end of class again. this is definately not normal behavior for her. she usually just sits quietly in the back and eyes me lol. If she broke up with me, and is so occupied with this new guy then why in the world is she trying SO hard to A) get in touch and B) make me jealous in class. Why do exes do this and not just let me heal.ive heard about her talking crap about me also. The breakup was an amicable one and I treated her better than any of her other ex's. her new guy is a going-nowhere coke dealer... so why the change in attitude. really sorry everyone for the length i tried to summarize as much as possible.if you need further clarification of specifics just say so and ANY feedback is appreciated. additional thought: since her new fling is not official and theyre already having trouble and theyve known each other for a while already claiming to be "just friends" is it possible she actually doesnt want to be vulnerable but is trying to reach out through anything she can to get me to talk to her? Or is she just trying to get me back to a state of mind where she can string me along like a backup plan like i think she is? Edited October 18, 2011 by bdbmwer Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 i don't see what you're so worried about, you're winning. she's making an ass of herself and you're sitting idly by not caring about it...until you posted all of this. she's crazy, that's why. let her be crazy, and enjoy the show. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bdbmwer Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 i don't see what you're so worried about, you're winning. she's making an ass of herself and you're sitting idly by not caring about it...until you posted all of this. she's crazy, that's why. let her be crazy, and enjoy the show. thats the thing. im torn because a part of me is doing great and moving on and not caring while another part of me deep down still really cares and feels like im just lying to myself and putting up a front. because at the end of the day whether i ACKNOWLEDGE it is different from the fact that i still CARE about it. it made me so mad i was about to tell her off after class. and is it wrong that one of her good-ish friends is now my party buddy and told me she likes me more?should I avoid her and is that maybe whats making her act this way because she feels betrayed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bdbmwer Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 insight anyone? im looking for opinions whether to continue NC go LC or NIC since shes contacting me all the time i just cant pinpoint which is best for my situation Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 ignore her, do her friend. then she'll go completely psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bdbmwer Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 update: went to the club with 3 of her friends.( did not know who was coming till i got there) . Kissed one, played touchy feely with her BEST friend while we dance, and had the other one from before asking for sex. Am i doing it right? Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 god buddy live your life and enjoy it, why do you need affirmation so much? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Wow, OP, if the ladies are climbing your pole like that, just enjoy life. It's good. Why the exGF who dumped you is in your Cheerios is unknown. Given how things are going, frankly, who cares? Enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 update: went to the club with 3 of her friends.( did not know who was coming till i got there) . Kissed one, played touchy feely with her BEST friend while we dance, and had the other one from before asking for sex. Am i doing it right? So now you're trying to make her jealous? Why? That just shows your're bothered by her still. Go out and find other girls to get with - you're trying to get with her mates (who will be going back and telling her all this btw) and thinking its a great thing to use them this way. This will just confirm that she was right to dump you. If I left a guy, and he then went out and kissed etc. a load of MY friends, I'd be pleased to be rid of him Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 update: went to the club with 3 of her friends.( did not know who was coming till i got there) . Kissed one, played touchy feely with her BEST friend while we dance, and had the other one from before asking for sex. Am i doing it right? NOPE!!! You did exactly the opposite of right. These are three of HER friends. You don't think they're going to go back to her and tell her that she was right to break it off with you because you were hitting on each and every one of them?! They're going to paint the image that you are a dog and weren't really serious about her and was only concerned about what you can get from her. If you acted like a complete gentleman that night, you gave them nothing. But their opinion would have been that she was an idiot for drop such a incredible and respectful guy. Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 You're both acting like little children trying to get the one-up on the other after a break-up. You shouldn't be sleeping, touching, or interacting with ANY of her friends. You sound like you're taking the same petty approach to this. Completely stonewall her. Tell her upfront that you have no interest in taking to her anymore - tell her in person, by e-mail and send a text on your phone. Tell her that further attempts to contact you will be ignored. Block her on Facebook, along with her friends and boyfriends. Block her number on your phone if you can or change phone numbers. If you can't change your seat in your professor's class, speak to the professor and see if you can try and get some physical distance between the two of you. Then...pretend she is dead to you. Completely. She's still contacting you because you're leaving channels of communication open. There's what - 5 or 6 weeks left in the semester? Hang in there till then, and hopefully you'll never have a class with her again. Link to post Share on other sites
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