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slept over, no sex


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 19th July 2011, 1:41 PM   #1
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slept over, no sex

Went on 1 date with a guy, then 1 group outing, where we slightly kissed for 1st time - he never made any further advances. Didn't keep in touch much the entire next week. Next weekend, he calls at midnight & asks if I want to come over. I think, "this can't be a booty call!" I come over, decline going to his bedroom right away, tell him I want to take things slow between us. we make out for hours, then fall asleep on couch together. Sleepover, no sex. Was this really weird? Remember we'd never made out even 1 time before
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Old 19th July 2011, 1:48 PM   #2
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Do you think that different people post in this forum?
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Old 19th July 2011, 1:50 PM   #3
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no but this post is an entirely diff category -- sex-only
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Old 19th July 2011, 2:32 PM   #4
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it's still in an inappropriate place, and you're going to get the same answers that you don't want to accept.
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Old 20th July 2011, 7:52 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ls333 View Post
I think, "this can't be a booty call!"
Why on earth do you think that? He calls you up at midnight to come over? What do you think he wanted, someone to read him a bedtime story? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a dunk it probably isn't a cat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ls333 View Post
I come over, decline going to his bedroom right away
Oh, he did want a bedtime story? That's why he wanted you in the bedroom? I think not.

He is appeasing you, keeping you warmed up so that next time you will put out.
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Last edited by PegNosePete; 20th July 2011 at 8:25 AM..
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:04 AM   #6
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I'm humiliated by being so naive. I just want to figure out if there's any way to "fix" this, i.e. let him know I really am attracted to him and not a total prude. Because I really want him as a potential boyfriend.
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:07 AM   #7
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Well seems like he doesn't want you (or anyone else) as a girlfriend. He just wants f*ck buddies. If that's not what you want then you need to find someone who does. You can't "fix" him because he is not "broken". He just wants different things out of life than you.
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:13 AM   #8
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If he only wanted f*ck buddy then he wouldn't have taken me out on a date, then another group outing, both times where he acted like a gentleman and didn't try anything sexual! That doesn't make any sense for a man who wants f*ck buddies!
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:16 AM   #9
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It makes perfect sense. He has to butter you up before going for the close.

Everyone knows girls don't put out until the 3rd date. Remind me again which "date" it was when he invited you to his house at midnight and wanted to get you in bed straight away?
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:18 AM   #10
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OMG, it was the 3rd date. At one point in the middle of the night, I said "I just have my principles & I want to take things a little more slowly than this... I mean, it's only my 3rd time seeing u..."
And he responds, "Exactly. It's the 3rd time."
I was put off. IF you're going to use the 3rd date rule, then shouldn't you treat the woman w/enough dignity to even ask her out on a real date that night?

But he had vaguely mentioned the upcoming cookout that weekend (which I still didn't have a date for). Maybe he really was just pining for me that night at the bar and just wanted it to be our 1st time. ugh.
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:24 AM   #11
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Yes, he seems to have run his game quite well on you. He must be quite frustrated that his efforts did not pay off. Hopefully you can learn from this and spot the signs earlier next time.
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:36 AM   #12
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but maybe it's not a game. between work & school he's busy 80 hours/week, didn't even get out of his night class till 9PM the night he booty called me, so there wouldn't have even been time for a proper "date." he just wanted to see me with the little time he did have... that aws the first morning he didn't have to get up for work in 3 entire weeks!
..although he did have that entire weekend off & hadn't planned a real date w/me. unless he wanted to "test" the sexual compatibility before he put any real work into me as a gf!!

Last edited by ls333; 20th July 2011 at 11:38 AM..
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:49 AM   #13
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Well if you want to go on believing that, go ahead. But you're going to get hurt, I guarantee it.
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Old 20th July 2011, 11:55 AM   #14
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I think he truly likes me but is always tired from work/school & doesn't have energy left for formal dating. I think he wants a woman who is just willing to relax & chill with him as time is available. That's why I had no problem going over there on a moment's notice that night. But somehow, once I was there, actually having sex felt different. I felt like that should require a bit more work/commitment/valuing of me. But there's no way to communicate any of this to him.. ugh... I just look like such a prude!!
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Old 20th July 2011, 12:01 PM   #15
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No, you don't look like a prude. You look like someone who doesn't want to be used for sex. Which is exactly what he's trying to do.

But, I've told you this enough times and so have many other people on your other threads. You're simply not listening, so I am checking out of this thread now. Good luck.
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