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Girlfriend insanely jealous over my female friend


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th October 2010, 9:38 AM   #1
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Girlfriend insanely jealous over my female friend

Well we've been dating almost two months now, and I care about her so much. She has never been in a real serious relationship like we're in, so a lot of this is new to her and I understand fully.

Her anger/jealousy over this girl is justified too, however don't say "Well don't be friends with her" I'm debating that despite not being willing to give up a friend. I spent 6 years with my ex and lost a lot of friends, so I'm not ready to throw people aside because my girlfriend is unhappy.

I would never cheat, but there's a definite attraction with this girl and she's made it obvious to me that she's interested too without having to say it. My girlfriend got upset with her the last time we all went out (co-workers and friends) because this girl wouldn't look my girlfriend in the eye at any point.

She obviously wouldn't make eye contact because she wants me, and we also all went out last night. My girlfriend was so angry at her just being there (which she originally wasn't supposed to be) she got up and went inside the bar. Then the other girl made a comment about "his weird girlfriend" that I heard as I went inside too. I can't prove she was talking about my girlfriend, but no one else there had a girlfriend with them.

So basically the situation is about to explode and my girlfriend is ready to fight her. It just sucks because I don't want to have to not be friends with this girl over this.
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Old 9th October 2010, 10:38 AM   #2
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Obviously your g/f can pick up on signals that this other girl likes you. Even you said there was a definite attraction towards her. She could possibly sense you do as well and just hasn't mentioned it.

Its good though that you understand your g/f feelings about it are justified. Because, she does sense something. Whether she has insecurity issues or not, (maybe due to it being her first real relationship) the bottom line is, I doubt you'll be able to have it both ways. I say as long as the other girl is in your life there is going to be some issues between her and your g/f.

I do think at some point you will have to choose. Its kind of not fair for you (not that you have, but could at some point) to tell her to stop being jealous, and its also kind of not fair for you to remain friends with her, regardless of how your g/f feels all because you have an attraction towards her.

Why is so important to remain friends with her? Do you not want to lose the friendship because you do have that attraction? If you didn't have attraction towards other friends in the past that you did lose, then you really can't compare with with this friend.

Last edited by Kendrick; 9th October 2010 at 10:40 AM..
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Old 9th October 2010, 10:45 AM   #3
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Obviously your g/f can pick up on signals that this other girl likes you. Even you said there was a definite attraction towards her. She could possibly sense you do as well and just hasn't mentioned it.

Its good though that you understand your g/f feelings about it are justified. Because, she does sense something. Whether she has insecurity issues or not, (maybe due to it being her first real relationship) the bottom line is, I doubt you'll be able to have it both ways. I say as long as the other girl is in your life there is going to be some issues between her and your g/f.

I do think at some point you will have to choose. Its kind of not fair for you (not that you have, but could at some point) to tell her to stop being jealous, and its also kind of not fair for you to remain friends with her, regardless of how your g/f feels all because you have an attraction towards her.

Why is so important to remain friends with her? Do you not want to lose the friendship because you do have that attraction? If you didn't have attraction towards other friends in the past that you did lose, then you really can't compare with with this friend.
She picks up on it because I was honest and told her that it's blatant to me she wants me. She touches me, gives me these looks that say it all and all that.

It's important because we click as friends ignoring any physical attraction, and I lost a lot of friends because of my ex. I'm not willing to do that again, I'm doing what I want and not letting a girlfriend dictate who I can and can't be friends with.

They are absolutely ready to fight each other though, and I won't lie...I like that in the attention getting sort of way. I mean this girl said "No one wants to see him and his weird girlfriend together" as I walked away, loud enough for me to hear it.
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Old 9th October 2010, 10:51 AM   #4
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What is it that is keeping you with your g/f then? Are there things with her that outweigh that of you being with your friend? If you like your friend and she likes you, then maybe you two need to be together. I still say though, if you keep your g/f and your other friend there is going to be friction. I wouldn't think that would be good for any of you.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:14 AM   #5
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What is it that is keeping you with your g/f then? Are there things with her that outweigh that of you being with your friend? If you like your friend and she likes you, then maybe you two need to be together. I still say though, if you keep your g/f and your other friend there is going to be friction. I wouldn't think that would be good for any of you.
I love my girlfriend, and want to be with her and be friends with the other girl.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:19 AM   #6
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The situation broken down:

"Another girl likes me and my g/f can't stand her because she knows it. But I'm not willing to give up the female friend due to previous baggage and if I'm honest, enjoy the ego stroke."
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:20 AM   #7
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I love my girlfriend, and want to be with her and be friends with the other girl.

I understand. I just think there is going to be conflict with the both of them as long as they both remain in your life.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:34 AM   #8
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The situation broken down:

"Another girl likes me and my g/f can't stand her because she knows it. But I'm not willing to give up the female friend due to previous baggage and if I'm honest, enjoy the ego stroke."
It's not previous baggage, it's the opposite.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:39 AM   #9
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It's not previous baggage, it's the opposite.
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I spent 6 years with my ex and lost a lot of friends, so I'm not ready to throw people aside because my girlfriend is unhappy.
The above is baggage since your current g/f is paying the price for your past relationship.

You'd better decide what's more important to you. Your current g/f or your baggage combined with some ego stroking.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:41 AM   #10
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The above is baggage since your current g/f is paying the price for your past relationship.

You'd better decide what's more important to you. Your current g/f or your baggage combined with some ego stroking.
I'm being independent and NOT losing friends because of mistakes I made in the past, I don't think you understand baggage.

You're frequently wrong by the way, just letting you know
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:43 AM   #11
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I'm being independent and NOT losing friends because of mistakes I made in the past, I don't think you understand baggage.

You're frequently wrong by the way, just letting you know
And you're frequently in denial.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:44 AM   #12
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And you're frequently in denial.
Way to pass judgment when you don't know someone.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:50 AM   #13
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Way to pass judgment when you don't know someone.
Turn the mirror buddy.

This is getting uber stupid. I'm out.
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Old 9th October 2010, 11:55 AM   #14
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She touches me, gives me these looks that say it all and all that.

[...]

I mean this girl said "No one wants to see him and his weird girlfriend together" as I walked away, loud enough for me to hear it.
That's all disrespectful to your girlfriend and to your relationship. Your girlfriend isn't being "insanely" jealous in getting upset by it, but I think you're too distracted by the attention to notice that she's being reasonable.

I'd be pissed off too if my SO let a girl who's jealous of me touch him and talk sh-t about me in front of other friends and colleagues. And I'd be even more pissed off if he enjoyed it.
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Old 9th October 2010, 12:01 PM   #15
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You might not have to worry about choosing between either of them, not that you were going to choose, but your girlfriend might chose for you.

If she breaks things off with you, then you're free to pursue whatever with your friend. I would think your girlfriend would get tired of all of this. Then again, if she has low self esteem and is needy she might just hang on to you, in hopes things will change.
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