LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating > Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

why did he get jealous if he doesn't want me?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 23rd September 2010, 7:48 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 80
Question why did he get jealous if he doesn't want me?

i was **** buddies with this guy for a year. i really liked him all along. he showed no interest in me though romantically. didn't treat me very nicely at times. trying to **** my friend behind my back. then all of a sudden he gets really mad/jealous when he sees me kiss his friend. why is this? if he doesn't want to be with me , then why did he get jealous? he had an entire year to make a move and never did.
so_mo34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th September 2010, 2:15 AM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,287
Quote:
Originally Posted by so_mo34 View Post
i was **** buddies with this guy for a year. i really liked him all along. he showed no interest in me though romantically. didn't treat me very nicely at times. trying to **** my friend behind my back. then all of a sudden he gets really mad/jealous when he sees me kiss his friend. why is this? if he doesn't want to be with me , then why did he get jealous? he had an entire year to make a move and never did.
Sounds like he is feeling the competition.
Untouchable_Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th September 2010, 3:04 AM   #3
Established Member
 
loverofloveandstuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 652
Yeah, I've noticed a lot of guys are like this. I can't really give you an answer as to why. It's selfish. They want you to want them and only them, and then they go around hitting on anything that moves with a vajayjay. I guess it shows they're jealous which means they must care a bit, but never enough to make things exclusive.

I was in a similar situation. I was 'seeing' this guy (it was basically a friends with benefits scenario). He didn't want to commit and I didn't push him to (didn't want to be annoying and look desperate ). I started to get very frustrated as he was hooking up with chicks left right and center and infront of me... quite surely sleeping with them too.

I know this very silly, but I retaliated by going on dates with several people he knew even though I wasn't slightly interested in them. I got even more frustrated when he got angry at me for dating these people yet it still didn't make him want to commit. Yeah, 'master plan' didn't really work. I learnt my lesson. Don't play games.
loverofloveandstuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2010, 1:03 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 387
I don't think its just a guy thing. My ex decided to find a new boyfriend before letting me know. Finally, after she decided he was suficient, she was comfortable enough to cut me loose. We had 'the talk'. Just a couple days after than I invited a women out for drinks after work. I signed off my Yahoo an hour early from work and met her. Apparently my ex was online 'invisible' because she noticed I signed out an hour early, called my cell and confronted me asking if I was with someone. I told her yes I was and she went crazy demanding I tell her where we were so she could come over and 'kick her ass'...she was going crazy reaming me out about this. Finally I reminded her that she dumped me for her new man. That didn't matter I guess because she kept going on and on until I told her I was hanging up now.

I think what it is, is dumpers like to do things on their own terms. There's a small window of uncertainty and if you force their hand by moving on too quickly, it disrupts that and creates a lot of anxiety for them. After we are dumped, we are still a fallback plan for awhile. They don't want that security to disappear.

Last edited by MichiganMan222; 26th September 2010 at 1:06 PM..
MichiganMan222 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2010, 9:41 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC, originally from Côte Saint-Luc, Québec
Posts: 1,314
This is why you should never been someone's FB or FWB. You can never be sure that they're sleeping with only you. Condom doesn't mean sh*t anymore these days. And yes, he feels the competition. He wants what he can't have or is about to lose.
Mad Max is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2010, 10:45 PM   #6
Established Member
 
TigerCub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,589
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Max View Post
This is why you should never been someone's FB or FWB. You can never be sure that they're sleeping with only you.
Same can be said about marraige - ever heard of affairs?
TigerCub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2010, 11:41 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC, originally from Côte Saint-Luc, Québec
Posts: 1,314
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerCub View Post
Same can be said about marraige - ever heard of affairs?

You're obligated to remain faithful in a marriage. FB or FWB is not a relationship.
Mad Max is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2010, 12:39 AM   #8
 
Veronica K's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: deux ex machina
Posts: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichiganMan222 View Post
...

I think what it is, is dumpers like to do things on their own terms. There's a small window of uncertainty and if you force their hand by moving on too quickly, it disrupts that and creates a lot of anxiety for them. After we are dumped, we are still a fallback plan for awhile. They don't want that security to disappear.
Never thought about it that way. I always thought it was almost exclusively ego, but this makes a lot of sense, too.
Veronica K is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
GF jealous of porn, I'm jealous of real guys Still Trying Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 1 3rd February 2009 4:14 PM
I don't want to be jealous alfagrl Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 1 1st July 2006 5:06 PM
ok so I am the jealous one phantom1976 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 2 29th June 2006 3:53 PM
My GF gets jealous, My new job may make her more jealous, Should I not do it? Fritz Lang Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 8 29th December 2005 12:50 AM
I'm jealous.....and I don't know how to take my mind off of what I'm jealous of.... tearfulface Dating 6 6th June 2005 10:19 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:35 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.