This isn't a bragging thread, but I just wanted to know if I handled this right. Long backstory to this, so please take the time to read if you want to reply.
I started dating her 11 months ago, everything was good. She had been in many, short flings before, while I was into more serious and longer relationships. At the start, with the honeymoon period, everything went well, and while I was jealous of her constant flirting with guys, I only brought it up minimally because she would always convince me that she was just "being friendly" to them, and I "can't stop her from having male friends". In hindsight, I also realise that she also used to try to make me jealous a lot, by constantly talking about her previous boyfriends and what male friends she used to like but chose me over them. I was unsure, but I went with it.
So on we went, all was good. Later she took a trip into the country, about 5-6 hours away with her friends, clearly I wasn't invited as it was a "girls week away" kinda thing - I wasn't worried at all, because I'm very close friends with her friends, and they assured me that she would do nothing.
So I called her a few times just to check if she was alright, but didn't really smother her - I kept myself busy. When she comes back, she relays to me everything that happened, or so I thought at the time. She says that the group of them met up with a few guys, and that they went back to their house just to hang out. My girlfriend then told me that one of her friends hooked up with a guy, but that friend constantly told my girlfriend not to get any ideas. In fact, my girlfriend said to me that she rejected a guy and that guy was mad at her because of it. Yeah, that jealousy thing again.
So I trusted her completely at this point. Then, on NYE, she went out again with her girls, and I went out with my guys - "bros before hos", "chicks before dicks". We're young, and that stuff (stupidly) matters at our age.
My girlfriend's friend called me and asked how I was going, we had a conversation, I asked how my girlfriend was going and she said "Not behaving as well as I'd like." I asked; "How?", and she replied, "Oh I'm just kidding, she's been very good, she always pushes the guys away that try to feel her up." Again, my girlfriend comes back to me on the new year and repeats the same story.
However, as the days went by, I found out that my girlfriend's friends haven't talked to her since NYE - I asked why, and they said "She's just been busy all the time, hasn't she been talking to you?" I said, "Yeah, she has, we talk on the phone a couple times a week.", and they were like "Oh...". Now my suspicions arose, even though my girlfriend was keeping up the lovey dovey talk and the sweet messages.
When we get back to college, my friends (girlfriend's friends) instantly pulled me aside and say "<name> cheated on you."
I was dumbstruck. My friends wouldn't say this to me unless they were 100% sure, and they would NEVER lie to me about this. I asked them "What, how?" and they told me these details.
- She's had a history of cheating in the past, against two boyfriends. (I never knew, probably because they wanted us to have a good relationship)
- She flirts a lot with guys when I'm not around, more than I knew.
- She never tells guys that come onto her that she has a boyfriend.
- She's a habitual liar (I know this, but I can normally sift out the lies... at least the innocent ones).
- At the "girls week away", she hooked up with a guy at their house. They found this out by calling ALL of the guys who were there, and they all said "Yes, <name> hooked up with <my girlfriend> for a little while."
- At NYE, both my friends who were there saw a guy kissing her neck, and while she was attempting to push him away, my friends were saying that it wasn't sincere and she was barely trying. She was drunk, but thats no excuse - I know people who can get completely smashed and still say no.
So I went with her with this information, and she instantly got mad at me, saying "It's not true." and pushed me away, saying "I don't want to deal with you right now."
Later, I called her, and she kept going on about how I don't trust her, and turned it RIGHT around, saying she can't be with someone who doesn't trust her, and it'll ruin our relationship forever, and we should just end it.
I went along with this, knowing that I didn't want a mutual breakup, not for her. So (yes I'm a dick), I went along and convinced her to try and get back together, and convinced her that I trust her fully. She said she "doesn't know", and "I can't.. I'm sorry, I still love you but I can't right now."
The day after, I went up to her and said to her "Do you still want to be with me?" and she said "I don't know... I'm not sure if it's worth it, but we can try..." and I said "No, its over. Maybe you can finally admit it to me one day." and walked right away, hearing her shout "Fine, just believe those bitches if you want to." She still denys it her friends tell me, and she hasn't talked to me, called me or texted me since that encounter.
It was hard and it hurt... but did I do the right thing? And... I suppose the question is... was she really cheating?
Thanks to whoever reads all of this and replies, it means a lot.