home alone while hes with "friends"

[lonelymom]

Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for about 3 and a half years and have 2 kids together. our relationship was great for the first 2 and a half years. we had so much fun together. we are very different but somehow it all worked for us until last summer. he made new friends at his new job and suddenly everything changed.

 

he worked with a girl who did not have any friends so he wanted me to be friends with her --i agreed and invited her out with me and my friends. all she wanted to do was talk about or to my boyfriend she ignored me and my friends and kept her eyes on my boyfriend all night. i could just tell she had no interest in being my friend. my boyfriend said i was crazy, she only wanted to be friends. but suddenly he stopped coming home at night .

 

One day the girl showed up at my house to tell me she liked my boyfriend. he told me he loved me and not to worry. but then a few days later he broke up with me --he insisted he loved me and just needed time to think and was going to visit our friend in miami.. he called from a miami number to tell me he missed me but my friend hadnt even seen him and wasnt taking his calls--i found out from friends he was in key west with her.

 

I decided i too needed time away so i transfered jobs to another state when he found out at first he was mad but then he was supportive. he planned to visit our son the very next weekend and he did but he said he loved me when he got here...as soon as he saw me he asked if i was pregnant and i said no i couldnt be but sure enough i was pregnant. long story short he happily moved 8 hrs away from our former home and his new girlfriend to be with us...everything was back to normal we were happy about the new baby and being together again...

 

Until ....we have yet another admirer for my boyfriend only this time she said she wanted to be our babysitter which was great at first because daycare is so expensive. but she kept asking me a million questions about my boyfriend and here we were all over again...she calls all the time and hangs up in my face when i answer..she started blocking her calls but i know it is her because we dont know many people in town. we changed our numbers at my boyfriends insistance but she calls 411 to get them so now they are unlisted. she even called the delivery room at the hospital when i was having my baby.

 

when she found out the numbers were changed the most recent time she showed up at our house banging on the door when we trying to celebrate the birth of our daughter. i told her to leave and she kept knocking on the door--my boyfriend just sat on the couch and laughed saying she was crazy but this girl (shes only 18, im 24 and hes 27) is destroying my happiness.

 

my boyfriend swears i have nothing to worry about but i find myself more and more lonely... our daughter is only 2 weeks old and he is never home except to sleep at night. he seems distant and always in a hurry to leave. he is always calling us to make sure everything is okay or to bring us dinner and then i dont hear from him for hours. we are home alone all day and all night till he comes home. yesterday i called him on our cell phone and she answered because she didnt recognize the number i asked for my boyfriend and she hung up the phone.. he called right back and apoligized for her answering the phone i was so upset. I asked him what was going on????he said nothing but in the background she said really loudly "did you throw that condom away?" i told him to have fun with his little girlfriend and hung up..

 

he walked in the door 15 minutes later apoligizing and telling me nothing was going on and she is childish and stupid but doesnt know why he hangs out with her...he told me again he loves me more than anything. i couldnt even speak...he just went to sleep and held me but i couldnt sleep at all...is it possible to believe him or am i just fooling myself?

[Tony T]

I'm very sorry you are with a man who has no morals, no honor, no respect for you, no sense of loyalty....just a plain scumbag. What can I say? What can I do?

 

Here you are with two kids and one on the way with the father grabbing whatever woman comes down the pike and takes up with her. He's not home unless he's sleeping and has no interaction with you. All I can do is feel sorry for you. I don't think there's a solution to this because if he cared to change, he would. It's useless to take up Internet bandwith even talking about such a sub human organism as he is.

 

Go talk to an attorney and file suit against him so you will at least get child support and some money to live on until you are able to work. If you cannot afford an attorney, call the legal Bar Association in your state for attorneys in your area who will do pro bono (free) work for those in need or call the Legal Aid Society. You can get those phone numbers from any attorney's office.

 

Seek help from friends, churchs, etc. There are a lot of sources of help to assist you in getting through this and starting a new life.

 

Of course, if you want to stay with the guy that's your business and I can't help you change him...but I'll give you a million dollars if you do.

 

You can't keep living with such a low class, no class scumbum. He's one of the worst I've heard of....eewwww. If you stay with him, you will be in a constant state of hurt and that's no way to live.

 

I hope you will pay a lot better attention in the future in picking important men in your life. We all make mistakes, though....I've made a lot as well...way too many to mention.

[Just A Girl2]

Good God, it's now wonder there are so many screwed up children in this world, who grow up to be screwed up adults.

 

I don't mean to sound harsh, but why on earth are you bringing children into this world with a guy who's screwing around on you like this? Okay, so you didn't maybe know he was when you had your first child, but why on earth did you not take better precautions to prevent pregnancy with your second child, knowing for a while before that something was up with this "friend from work"?

 

1) He was in Key West with the first gal. Obviously not there playing tiddly winks. He obviously lied to you, saying he was there at a friend's place but wasn't, he was with her.

 

2) Now he's chasing young girls (18 is young for a 27 yr old guy), hanging out with her? After all she's done? Yet he tells you he loves you and you believe him?

 

You need to kick his sorry ass out, and I hope you have good DECENT mature friends, and family there, so that you have some support and help with your baby and other child, because this guy is a walking disease and a lying sack of sh*t, and he's disrespecting to you and boldly lying to you........anyone reading your post here can tell this.

 

Please...get yourself on some proper form of birth control and don't bring any more children into the world until you have a stable, mature relationship with someone who's got some honor and integrity.

[lonelymom]

just to clarify a bit i got pregnant for the second time before i found out about the first girl...i was on birth control (hey it happens) but i love my kids and i hope with my whole heart i havent screwed them up simply based on the face i put faith in a man that i thought i knew (we had been friends for 7 years before dating without even a hint of his womanizing ways)

[yes]

The baby is only 2 weeks old, and he's out with a chick, huh? Smells like huge disrespect, if nothing else. I mean if he doesn't love you - fine, but how dares he not help take care of the tiny baby?!? Do you ask him to help? Does he refuse?

 

I also think that moving aaway from him & suing for child support is the only way out. Before that, you can try counseling, or simply talking to him - as in, is he upto having this family (and if so, when is he planning on showing it), or if not, ask him to move right out (or move out yourself).

 

Perhaps you could go to the town where your parents live, so they could help you with the children?

 

good luck!

-yes

[mintman101171]

Plan and simple ,your man is cheating.I'm a male and those are clear signs of a cheating boy friend.It's obvious and like you said, you aren't doing anything but trying to fool yourself.You only get what you take.His actions speaks louder than his words.Easier said than done.