sweetthing Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 I'm searching for some inpartial advice. I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he's a wonderful guy but lately I've become frustrated with how little attention he gives me. I really enjoy hugs/kisses but he's a very non-affectionate guy. Several months ago I met a guy who adores me (so he says) and can't stop thinking about me (very flattering!). We've hung out and we've kissed quite a bit, but that is as far as either of us wanted to take it until I figured out whether I would stay with my boyfriend. I've really debated whether receiving the affection that I crave is worth ending a fine relationship for when there will undoubtedly be something else frustrating in a new relationship. After a lot of consideration I decided to stop seeing "the new guy" and work on the relationship I'm in. Last night I ran into "the new guy" again. It had been 2 months since we'd talked. It felt really great to see him, and I did give him a kiss goodbye - thinking about it today gives me butterflies in pit of my stomach. But I feel terrible about it. Do you think that I am just excited about someone new giving me attention or should I be more concerned that I am so easily tempted and that something is not right about my relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 [color=indigo] I have been in your situation just recently. My ex was very non-affectionate and I tried to talk to him about it before anything else happened with this guy friend of mine who adored me. Well, no real improvements were made and I ended up cheating with the guy friend, who I also had deep emotions for. It was a hard road to go down but I realized I really needed the kind of affection that the "new guy" was giving me. I eventually broke it off with my ex and am now happier then ever with my new boyfriend. He gives me everything I need. The fact that you are kissing the other guy means that something isn't right in your current relationship. You are getting from "the new guy" what you seek and crave from your current boyfriend, which you're obviously not getting. You have a couple options here: 1) Talk to your boyfriend about being more affectionate and hope he can change 2) Decide if you could go on living this way with your current boyfriend 3) Break up with your current boyfriend and seek other opportunities with the new guy. I think you owe it to yourself to discover what makes you happy and to have that. If your boyfriend isn't giving you what you need, then maybe it is time to move on. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 YOU STATE: "We've hung out and we've kissed quite a bit, but that is as far as either of us wanted to take it until I figured out whether I would stay with my boyfriend. It's very thoughtful of you to just keeping it to kissing "quite a bit" until you decide if you want to stay with your boyfriend or leave him. You owe it to yourself and your boyfriend to submit your resignation and make it effective immediately. If you're going to be out enjoying romantic interludes with others, you are betraying your boyfriend. You don't have to screw somebody else to betray. You are betraying your own self by being with somebody you are not enthusiastic about. Tomorrow our planet may be destroyed by a giant comet or meteor crashing into its atmosphere. Go, you may not have very long. End your unfilling relationship and go search elsewhere. Just be sure your criteria extends far beyond a guy's ability to kiss endelssly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetthing Posted April 28, 2003 Author Share Posted April 28, 2003 thanks for that advice, turns out he's betraying me also. So, it's an easy decision now! But I appreciate the advice - looking back at it now I should have ended it the moment I kissed "new guy" Things were not right and I should have paid attention to the red flags! Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 [color=indigo] You're welcome for the advice, but it shouldn't be easy only because you found out that your boyfriend is betraying you too. That is just the cop out way. Learn from this experience, and in the future, don't hang in there with someone you know isn't giving you what you need. Have the strength to leave when you know it isn't right. Not when he makes it convenient for you leave. Good luck! [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
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