Help...what does it all mean

[ashland69]

well here is the story...i will make it as short as possible...i have been going out with the same woman for two yrs...i love her wholeheartedly....anyways about 8 months into our relationship i was pretty scared....she has custody of her 2 daughters and has alot of contact with her ex husband...anyways i was kind of nervous about all of this and started having conversations with another woman...well needles to say this woman after a yr went by came to my girlfriend and told her all about it...lately we have had an off again on again relationship...she said she does not know if she can ever forget what i did...she says she loves me but her self esteem is very bad right now and she is not sure what she wants anymore....any suggestions what i should do

[mighty bop]

These kind of things never work out man. Find a girl without kids.......

[Bill]

you messed up...

 

You know this woman has to talk to her ex-husband sometimes because of the kids. That's not your invitation to talk to other women. Find another woman.

[Swamp]

No offense... But yeah.

 

2 kids? Exhusband?

 

Does that ya know... uhh maybe make sense?

 

Are you like some sort of really needy kid that needs like 500% attention or something? She was talking about child support and custody arrangements with her exhusband and that made you go find another woman?

 

Please... you are better off without anyone with that kind of stupidity. Again no offense. But thats like shooting at the mail man for trespassing.

[Just A Girl2]

Swamp..you wrote:

 

Are you like some sort of really needy kid that needs like 500% attention or something? She was talking about child support and custody arrangements with her exhusband and that made you go find another woman?

 

Hey now, there's no need to insult Ashland69, here. MANY men and women get involved with someone who has kids/an ex spouse they remain in contact with...only to find that it's "all too much"..and there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't necessarily make them needy dolts who crave tons of attention.

 

Some people start out dating someone with children, thinking it will be "okay" but over time, find out it's a lot to deal with. I've been in this position 3 times.....I dated 3 guys who had kids, issues with their ex, all the baggage, the "bratty kids", them having joint custody and all that crap.......and I learned that it's not for me, and I won't date someone with kids again. For me, like a lot of people, it's got NOTHING to do with needing lots of attention..........some of us just aren't ready/willing/able to become the 'instant family' .......some of us don't like having to be around someone's poorly disciplined/behaved brats (not all are brats but lots are, often comes with the territory of kids coming from divorced parents....where both parents spoil the kids/let them away with murder, due to guilt of having broken up the family), some of us aren't crazy about having to totally reschedule things in the relationship because "they have their kids every weekend", etc. There's lots of reasons.

 

And I think it's rather presumptuous of you, to presume that ashland's g/f keeps in communication with her ex due to custody and child support stuff. Might be, might not be. For all you know, maybe his g/f's ex isn't "over her" and keeps initiating contact because he wants to get back with her. There's all kinds of possible scenarios.

 

Some people realize after time that they grow tired of their partner having to constantly be in contact with their PAST: THEIR EX. SOme can handle this, some can't..and those who can't, there's nothing wrong with them. Some people just prefer much more 'simple relationships'......where there's no ties from the past. Nuttin wrong with that.

 

Can we assume that YOU are divorced (with kids) and your hostility here is the result of some deep seated animosity toward singles you've dated who maybe didn't dig your kids/ex situation?