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Am I unreasonable?


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Greenisthecolor

My boyfriend and I have been together for one year to the date. He's 31 and I'm 18 and it's the first serious relationship I've ever had. He tells me I'm the only woman he needs and wants and I told him if that's true he should get rid of his big stack of barely legal virgin porno. I even volunteered to make some footage for him, but he declined. He chucked the mags but I always find porno on the computer we share. He tries telling me he wasn't looking at it, he was looking at the other pics on the site, but every time I visit that web page, the ones describing females are the only ones highlighted. (It's one of those pages that has train wrecks, and weird gross stuff mixed in with porn.) It wouldn't bother me if we were causual and didn't see each other as much, but we plan on getting married. He says other women don't care if their men go to strippers and watch porno, but a lot of people I talk to say it does. They way I see it is that I don't stare at other men or go to strip clubs. He told me, " Who cares what turns me on or what I think about when we have sex, I'm still only doing you. What do you guys think? It's always good to have different opinions. Do I have a right to be peeved?

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You want to marry this loser? It is amazing to see how some guys talk to their s/o. I can't believe this! I don't know what it is now, with everyone dating older older people. I'm talking a female dating a guy that is much older.

 

This guy needs to grow up and start to respect women. He has one SICK mind with the stuff that you are describing. I would be he has more problems than you are telling us.

 

You have every right to be pissed at this guy.

 

He told me, " Who cares what turns me on or what I think about when we have sex, I'm still only doing you.

 

That sums it up right there! You are a sex object to him, and NOTHING more. It doesn't get any more obvious than that.

 

Again, why do you girls take this from people like that? Leave this guy with his computer, then go out and find a real man. I'm 20, and male, and I treat my girlfriend like a princess. I do anything for her, and I make sure she always has a smile on her face. Find someone to treat you right!

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Greenisthecolor

Thanks for the advice. It's really refreshing to hear that there are still some men that respect women. He and I don't have any other major problems other than my "jealousy." I want to tell him how bad it hurts be because in my eyes I do everything I can for him, but it still seems that I am not good enough. He just gets angry and says that I'm jealous. Sometimes I do want to leave, but I don't have anywhere to go.

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Staying with someone because you don't have somewhere to go is wrong. You keep trying to blame yourself for the problems in the relationship. It's not your fault!

 

He is just trying to justify his bad actions by pinning the blame on you. You can't take that, it's not right.

 

Sometimes we want to rush into a sense of security, that security being marriage. It is often rushed into with the wrong person. Stop right now and think about what is going on. I'm sure there would be another guy that would give you a chance.

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I know guys like this. You may be happy now...but wait til you get to be about 27. I swear to GOD he'll find another 17 year old. I have SEEN it happen. And they had 2 kids before this happened....

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the guy is into barely legal virgin porno, he's in his 30s and dating a teenager? Knock me on the head if I'm wrong, but he's objectifying you. and to make it worse, he's trying to justify his "needs" by telling you that other women don't care what their men do.

 

what a line of hokey bull-poop he's peddling! When you're in a committed relationship, you give up selfish things like that, or at least in my not-so-humble opinion, that's what you do. There are a lot of good men (and women) willing to treat their mate with respect, so why settle for a jackass like this guy? If he needs this as badly as he claims to, maybe he's better off with it, and not you.

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