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Is my married professor flirting with me?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 8th March 2009, 10:43 PM   #1
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Is my married professor flirting with me?

Ok I'm pretty naive so I need a little help here. I'm a 24 year old student at a physical therapy assistant program. My professor, who happens to head the program is a very professional person and is very passionate about his job. However, I'm picking up the vibe that he may be flirting with me, maybe subconsciously because he is married.

First occasion: I was lying down on the table and my partner was having a hard time finding a bony landmark (the anterior iliac crest), it's below the belly button, pretty below the belt. So I was giggling because she couldn't find the landmark and was actually tickling me by accident. So the professor comes by and finds the landmark and shows my partner how to do it. Then he says to my partner, "Here's what you were doing." And he started tickling me. I think he was being playful but it was unnecessary.

Second occasion: The professor was showing my partner how to find C6 on my spine. I was sitting with my legs off the table, he was standing in front of me but insanely close. My knee was wedged against his upper thigh.

Third occasion: We were doing some muscle palpation. I was lying on the table in my sports bra, stomach exposed. My partner asks for help finding pec major from the professor. He walks over and pokes me in the belly button.

Fourth occasion: Again, lying on the table. The professor told me to get up and proceeded to smack me outer thigh but a little too high and near the hips/ butt area. I think he noticed my flushed face because he looked a little flustered and said sorry.

Fifth occasion: Finished a lecture exam, and went back to my seat. I was just looking into space. I had the feeling the professor was looking my way so when I turned my head to look at him, his eyes darted downward double quick. Kind of seemed he didn't want to be caught staring at me.

And in between all those occasions we have little conversations, about class work of course. He makes a funny joke I laugh, I make a funny joke, he laughs and gets a big cheesy grin on his face....a bit of a sparkle in his eye. He opens doors for me, that kind of stuff. It feels like an attraction. Like I said though, he's quite professional and doesn't come off like a pig. I've been in school with this professor for only 2 months. He's going to be the only professor teaching the classes over the next term so I'll be seeing him all day long every day. Should I be concerned?
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Old 8th March 2009, 11:26 PM   #2
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Um, since you are in a physical therapy program, which requires physical contact, I don't think he's putting on any moves. Though I would assume that his touching you is solely for an educational reason.

Also, how can someone fail to find an illiac crest when someone is lying down!?!?
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Old 8th March 2009, 11:34 PM   #3
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I agree with btc8 (but I wouldn't know where to find an "illiac crest" if someone is lying down, sitting up, or standing on their head .)

The only concern, really, would be if you let your imagination get away from your rational and logical observations and interpretations of events.

Good luck with your program, btw.
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Old 8th March 2009, 11:37 PM   #4
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Btc8, Horse****, this guy is seeing how far to push your boundaries. It may be P.T. but there is no room for smacks on the bottom or fingers in the navel. He is trying to find out how far he can get with her. If you are unconfortable with this contact, let someone know, keep quiet about it and then if it happens again, go to your Dean, ombudsman or student rep. Profs having been doing this for centuries, my college gf was hit on by one of her profs. and he was dismissed. If he get anywhere near your genitals or breasts, you'll know for sure.
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Old 8th March 2009, 11:39 PM   #5
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My thoughts:

I think he has picked up your vibe that you are interested.. and he might be somewhat excited and/or curious about it.. he might do these things to find out how far he can go.

Sometimes, even if a MM has never cheated (rare, and in this case.. very unlikely).. he might feel 'excited/attracted' to a woman who show some kind of interest in him..

just saying..

he's probably already cheated.. don't be so naive.. and he's probably checking you out as his potential next 'victim'..
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Old 9th March 2009, 1:26 AM   #6
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yes physical therapy requires contact, the professor, let's call him John, often uses me over other students to demonstrate a technique to the class and has to touch me. I have no problem with that. (I find it a little odd that he does use me all the time when there's other students too but whatever....) It's the extra touching that has nothing to do with physical therapy that I'm talking about. And you'd be surprised at how often students can't properly palpate the anterior iliac crest and the anterior iliac spine, I'm fit and it's obvious on me. *shrugs*

I guess I'll just be extra careful. I'm definitely not trying to send out vibes that say "I'm interested." Do I find him attractive? Yes, but I'd never go there. Maybe my expressions are giving too much away. And he really doesn't seem like the type that would cross the line, but again I'm a bit naive when it comes to this kind of stuff and of course the semester just started and it's a long road ahead. Thanks for the input, keep it coming and hopefully I won't be adding any new occasions.
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Old 11th March 2009, 2:29 AM   #7
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okay, something new. I was picked to be the class example again.... he's trying to demonstrate how to palpate pec minor. I am wearing a fitted, thin t-shirt. He actually went under my shirt to feel for pec minor (right between the armpit and breast area). I'm thinking he could have done that over my t-shirt. Am I off track in my thinking here?
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Old 11th March 2009, 2:36 AM   #8
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First off, I wouldn't assume he's cheated in the past, like some on here have. I would say that he is DEFINITELY attracted to you, and from how you describe your body, you shouldn't be too surprised a male is attracted to you. He may be a teacher, he may be married, but he is male.

Now, him finding you attractive is ok, as long as it's not acted on. He is married, and you are a student.

Now, if he is, like some say, 'testing your boundaries', then you need to insert firm facial expressions when he does something you don't appreciate or think is appropriate.

Example, you are laying on the table and he is pointing something out on you. If you are uncomfortable with that, then give an obvious frown as you look at him. He's a teacher, he must be somewhat intelligent, he'll get the hint after a while.
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Old 11th March 2009, 2:37 AM   #9
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I really think I need to join a physical therapy assistant program.
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Old 11th March 2009, 3:11 AM   #10
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just sleep with him and get it over with
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Old 11th March 2009, 3:19 AM   #11
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Azula, I have been to P.T. and he is definitely trying something. You must put a stop to it NOW. If his behavior continues, go to his superior. Don't be a pliant victim.
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Old 12th March 2009, 11:19 AM   #12
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1. This is sexual harassment.
2. Unless you like it, get as cold as you can when it happens.
3. Start a journal, hardbound, date and initial each page. I like the ones with the preprinted numbers in the corner (done this before)
4. Decide now whether to cut it off, or set him up.

Our best case had an award over $500,000

5. If you decide to get things cut off firmly and you're not the only one, show the notebook to HR and ask that the fellow be warned in general terms. Some risk, but that usually works.


On the other hand, some profs are nice snuggle buddies. They need to avoid the public signs. I've been in a grad student's pants and I've banged a professor, both directions worked fine. Carefully.
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Old 1st May 2009, 11:35 PM   #13
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Ok, it's been a while since I've updated. School is like boot camp. So here is the latest.

We were assessing gait (different patterns people take to walk). I was the guinea pig that day, professor "John" asked me if I was ok with taking off my shirt and just being in my sports bra, and short shorts. I stripped down to my tank top, didn't feel comfy in just my sports bra, and I don't really know why it would have been necessary anyway.

The other one was when I was with my partner and we were testing hamstring length. Apparently I was contracting my butt, so professor John walks over and says to my partner, "Wait, wait don't let her contract her butt". And as he said this he actually felt the need to poke my butt.

The other week I was talking to professor John about an old test, and how one of the questions gave me a really hard time the first time around, and I couldn't figure out why because it seemed so easy now. He caressed my head and gave me that "you're so cute look".

I could keep listing crap all day like this but I'll stop because you get the idea.

I've talked to some of the other girls in the program but they're no help because they all think professor John is delicious, and they all wish he was flirting with them instead.

I'm pretty much still trying to figure out of its innocent flirtation or if he's gingerly and steadily hinting at something
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Old 2nd May 2009, 4:16 PM   #14
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Like an earlier poster said: He is pushing the boundaries of proper interaction. If you are really uncomfortable, you need to document these incidents and go to a higher authority so this man will be disciplined. If you like what he's been doing then let him continue to push boundaries until you're in his bed, but try not to be surprised if you end up heartbroken. Either way, I wish you the best of luck.
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Old 2nd May 2009, 5:14 PM   #15
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Yes. As everyone agreed 6 weeks ago, he was flirting. He is still flirting.

So why are you still putting up with it?

Personally, I would document the occurences that made you uncomfortable, and then I would send him an email or letter stating that you have documented 22 (or how many ever) incidences of him touching you in a manner that you feel was inappropriate, and to please stop using you as a model in class and to please stop asking you to strip off your clothing, and that if you suffer any repercussions from your letter, then you will be forced to go to the Dean of your department with your documentation and file a formal complaint.

I suspect, like the last poster, that you are enjoying the attention a bit too much to complain?
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