Jump to content

I'm in love with two people


Recommended Posts

Four monthes ago I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years with my best friend. I felt lonely and me and my boyfriend were not getting along. After I cheated I couldn't face living up to my mistake so my best friend moved me out of my house and we moved to a different state to live with my mom. I thought I could make myself fall in love with my best friend. And I did but I can't stop loving my ex. Me and my current boyfriend(my best friend)fight a lot but he says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

 

A couple days ago I called my ex and told him I had cheated on him. He said he knew and he had already forgiven me. He wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. With my ex I have security, I have a home, I don't have to worry about anything for the rest of my life. But my best friend is funny and romantic. Problem is he can't hold down a job and we're always broke. I don't know where our life together is going. I find myself more physically attracted to my best friend but it isn't enough to stop my feelings for my ex. There are things I love about both of them and I've put myself in a bad position....what do I do?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm afraid this is a decision you and you alone are going to have to make.

 

You can draw straws or pick names from a hat.

 

My experience in this type of situation is that the male who can provide financially for a better home environment and a better future for possible offspring is the male who will win out.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Whew! This is a mess. If I were you I wouldn't have anything to do with either of these two guys. I think you need to go it alone for a little while and figure out where your head is.

 

You said of your ex, "I don't have to worry about anything for the rest of my life.", yet you felt lonely and didn't get along with him. That sounds like something to worry about to me.

 

I don't know what the deal is with this new guy. Fun and romance don't put a roof over your head or food on the table. Somebody is eventually going to get tired of him freeloading.

 

I suggest that you find yourself a job or get some kind of training for a job so you will not be as financially dependent on other people. There are not many things better than knowing you can take care of yourself financially and emotionally. Putting yourself on more stable ground in all areas of your life will help you make better choices when it comes to deciding where to live and who to love and marry.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Big Pappa Pump

As is the case, I agree with Tony, however, this is not often the case with men or women. You have to make your choice and stick by it, be it with your current boyfriend or with your ex-boyfriend.

 

However, honestly, if i was your ex-boyfriend, i would not want to marry somebody, who after having some trouble and afraid of facing the consequences, took off and left to another state. Thats not a good quality in anybody, and not especially to somebody you are planning to marry. Hopefully this is only a one time thing, but it's not exactly a good thing.

 

BPP

I'm afraid this is a decision you and you alone are going to have to make. You can draw straws or pick names from a hat. My experience in this type of situation is that the male who can provide financially for a better home environment and a better future for possible offspring is the male who will win out.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Your finding yourself scared and vulnarable to the fact that life is alot more hard with your b/f. But your in love with him.

 

These vulnarable feelings you have trigger the past with your ex and you would feel so much better knowing that someone could take care of you. Now what happens if you go back to your ex and you feel like you did before. Than you would wonder if leaving your goodlooking friend was a mistake.

 

Either way you dont win.

Four monthes ago I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years with my best friend. I felt lonely and me and my boyfriend were not getting along. After I cheated I couldn't face living up to my mistake so my best friend moved me out of my house and we moved to a different state to live with my mom. I thought I could make myself fall in love with my best friend. And I did but I can't stop loving my ex. Me and my current boyfriend(my best friend)fight a lot but he says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

 

A couple days ago I called my ex and told him I had cheated on him. He said he knew and he had already forgiven me. He wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. With my ex I have security, I have a home, I don't have to worry about anything for the rest of my life. But my best friend is funny and romantic. Problem is he can't hold down a job and we're always broke. I don't know where our life together is going. I find myself more physically attracted to my best friend but it isn't enough to stop my feelings for my ex. There are things I love about both of them and I've put myself in a bad position....what do I do?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Ed, get rid of both of them... stop selling yourself short and go out on your own. Become completely independent, while you do this who knows, maybe you'll meet a guy that is everything instead a few of the elements that another guy lacks.

 

But that's just what I think... you have a mind of your own and I'm sure you know how to use it.

 

Good Luck

Whew! This is a mess. If I were you I wouldn't have anything to do with either of these two guys. I think you need to go it alone for a little while and figure out where your head is. You said of your ex, "I don't have to worry about anything for the rest of my life.", yet you felt lonely and didn't get along with him. That sounds like something to worry about to me. I don't know what the deal is with this new guy. Fun and romance don't put a roof over your head or food on the table. Somebody is eventually going to get tired of him freeloading. I suggest that you find yourself a job or get some kind of training for a job so you will not be as financially dependent on other people. There are not many things better than knowing you can take care of yourself financially and emotionally. Putting yourself on more stable ground in all areas of your life will help you make better choices when it comes to deciding where to live and who to love and marry.
Link to post
Share on other sites

ideas:

 

is there any way u can get away from both of them for a while?

 

maybe its too early for u to settle down?

 

maybe neither one is right for u? keep on lookign & dating?

 

(ive been at a point where i thought i was in love w/ two ppl, and it turned out both were wrong for me..)

 

just some thoughts...

 

-yes

Four monthes ago I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years with my best friend. I felt lonely and me and my boyfriend were not getting along. After I cheated I couldn't face living up to my mistake so my best friend moved me out of my house and we moved to a different state to live with my mom. I thought I could make myself fall in love with my best friend. And I did but I can't stop loving my ex. Me and my current boyfriend(my best friend)fight a lot but he says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

 

A couple days ago I called my ex and told him I had cheated on him. He said he knew and he had already forgiven me. He wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. With my ex I have security, I have a home, I don't have to worry about anything for the rest of my life. But my best friend is funny and romantic. Problem is he can't hold down a job and we're always broke. I don't know where our life together is going. I find myself more physically attracted to my best friend but it isn't enough to stop my feelings for my ex. There are things I love about both of them and I've put myself in a bad position....what do I do?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I also agree with Ed. Sounds like you need a break from both of them. Neither one sounds like they're the one. Definitely dump the freeloader--life would be horrific with him. The other one, although stable financially, isn't the one either or you wouldn't of gone off with Mr. Excitement. These are not the only two men on earth. Give yourself time, why are you in such a hurry? Good luck with whatever you decide.

I agree with Ed, get rid of both of them... stop selling yourself short and go out on your own. Become completely independent, while you do this who knows, maybe you'll meet a guy that is everything instead a few of the elements that another guy lacks. But that's just what I think... you have a mind of your own and I'm sure you know how to use it. Good Luck
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...