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Who does he really love?


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I know that seeing someone who is involved is wrong but I guess we are all foolish when it comes to matters of the heart. I have been seeing a guy who has been in a serious relationship for a few years. They are not married or engaged, but they have been together for a while. Well, he and I have always flirted and asked eachother the "what if" questions, i.e., If we had got together in the beginning, would we be happy and all that eachother wanted? We never got together before because we had a valuable friendship we were afraid of messing up and our families aren't too fond of the idea either. But we messed around and openly flirted anyway. We ended up being eachother's first sexual experience as well. Well as time went on, feelings grew, I didn't say anything because I was leaving for Basic Training. I didn't know how long I'd be gone, so I didn't bring up my feelings and neither did he. A few years went by, and when I came home, he had a girlfriend. He had written to me several times and never made mention of her. Well, I wanted to be good about it, so I backed off, I had no intentions of getting between him and his girl. But he started to pursue me. He said that he always would have a place in his heart for me that even his girlfriend couldn't touch. He says he loves her, but he tells me the same. He even says things like when he masterbates, it's never to thoughts or pics of his girlfriend, but it's always me. He says that no one can compare to me and that's why. I believe him, and I know that a lot of you who will read this will think "Oh yeah, he's just tells her that crap to get in her pants." But when he says those things, he really doesn't seem to be lying. I don't know. We see eachother as often as we can and we are intimate, his girlfriend has no idea about any of this. It's hard b/c we can't be together (because of family reasons, etc.) but we can't stay away from eachother either. I tell myself that what I am doing is wrong, but it's the forbidden fruit that always tastes the best, as the saying goes. Please give me advice, I am inlove, I know that, but I just wonder who really has his heart, me or her. What do you all think?

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It's quite obvious that she has his heart...and you are his play thing. You always have been and always will be as long as you allow it. You have never been his main lady and he has never sought to have you be his main lady. And if you were, unfortunately he would be cheating with someone else just like you.

 

There is no way you're going to get out of this without hurt but you knew the whole story going in and you know it now.

 

If he wanted to be with you, if he wanted you to be his lady, he would have made a decisive move in that direction. He hasn't. So he answered your question and there was no need to post it here.

 

Stay away from him, get over him, and go find yourself true love with a guy who will put you number one in his life.

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lots of guys have a hard time letting go of the girl they lost their virginity to - or so i heard. that may be why he tries to keep u around himself... GET AWAY! u'll only get hurt.

I know that seeing someone who is involved is wrong but I guess we are all foolish when it comes to matters of the heart. I have been seeing a guy who has been in a serious relationship for a few years. They are not married or engaged, but they have been together for a while. Well, he and I have always flirted and asked eachother the "what if" questions, i.e., If we had got together in the beginning, would we be happy and all that eachother wanted? We never got together before because we had a valuable friendship we were afraid of messing up and our families aren't too fond of the idea either. But we messed around and openly flirted anyway. We ended up being eachother's first sexual experience as well. Well as time went on, feelings grew, I didn't say anything because I was leaving for Basic Training. I didn't know how long I'd be gone, so I didn't bring up my feelings and neither did he. A few years went by, and when I came home, he had a girlfriend. He had written to me several times and never made mention of her. Well, I wanted to be good about it, so I backed off, I had no intentions of getting between him and his girl. But he started to pursue me. He said that he always would have a place in his heart for me that even his girlfriend couldn't touch. He says he loves her, but he tells me the same. He even says things like when he masterbates, it's never to thoughts or pics of his girlfriend, but it's always me. He says that no one can compare to me and that's why. I believe him, and I know that a lot of you who will read this will think "Oh yeah, he's just tells her that crap to get in her pants." But when he says those things, he really doesn't seem to be lying. I don't know. We see eachother as often as we can and we are intimate, his girlfriend has no idea about any of this. It's hard b/c we can't be together (because of family reasons, etc.) but we can't stay away from eachother either. I tell myself that what I am doing is wrong, but it's the forbidden fruit that always tastes the best, as the saying goes. Please give me advice, I am inlove, I know that, but I just wonder who really has his heart, me or her. What do you all think?
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I agree with Tony and Yes.

 

No matter how much he says he loves you, the point is that he hasn't done anything about it. If he wanted to be with you, he would have left his girlfriend a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago.

 

He's not worth waiting around for...you have to move on now.

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