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How to deal with crush and get back to M?


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A question for all those of you who had a crush for a co worker while you were married and decided to stop the friendship and focus on your marriage: how did you handle it? How did you overcome the awkwardness at work? Didn't you feel like you lost something?

 

I'm in this situation; decided to stop the friendship before anything bigger started and to work on my relationship with my great wife. It does however feel strange to meet the ow almost daily around the office, just say "hi" and move on... but I'm guessing it'll pass... right?

 

So, those of you who did it, how did you achieve it?

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Boy, I wish I knew. I'm knee-deep in a crush with someone who is married like I am, but I am unsure about his feelings. I posted about it on this board.

 

In a work situation, it is especially hard because you HAVE to see them every day.

 

I'm not offering much help here, just understanding. I'm interested in what others have to say....

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I think the OP took the very mature route in dealing with the situation. Marriage at least deserves the chance to be worked on and fix the problems that be. Like the rules of NC or limited contact eventually the situation will dry up and go away if that is personally what you hold yourself to doing.

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Sure (I hope) it's the right decision, it hurts like hell too, but it obviously hurts a lot less than an affair and the resulting divorce...

 

For those that had been in the same boat, how did it go for you?

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It sucks.

 

But it's for the best...because it's not fair to string along two different people while being confused about your feelings.

 

I've been on both ends....and was currently in the OW shoes.

 

It hurts like hell. BUT - the NC thing helps. A lot.

 

Give it some time. Mine has been gone a few weeks ( I think a month now ) and it's getting better day by day. (slowly but surely)

 

I would say...work on your marriage. If in time it still doesn't feel right, maybe there really is something wrong within. Maybe that OW provided something your wife wasn't...or maybe you just weren't interested in your wife providing it because the OW was new and exciting.

 

Who knows. At least your head is in the right place :) Much luck to you...keep us posted on how it goes. Check out my post...you can catch up on the story from a few months ago if you wish ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I totally understand your pain. I have a friend that was acutally my old boss. I was laid off 6 months ago and we still talk everyday see each other at least once a week. We are both married and have never crossed the line but it is getting harder on me. I constantly think about walking away from our friendship because I do not know what it is. We flirt with each other when ever we are together. From the first day I met we just clicked and this was 2 1/2 yrs ago. When we are together people think we are married. I do not know if by walking away I am just walking away from a friendship or more than that. I wish I had the strength to walk away but I just cannot. You are a better person than I am :)

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