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i had been going out with my boyfriend for three years and had been friends with him for two years prior. About two months ago he broke up with me stating that he had to "find himself" and figure some things out. He also said he wasn't in love with me anymore. And that completely destroyed me for a good while. I've come to terms with it though and i don't miss his presence anymore, but fast forward to present day and he's cut off contact with me completely and when i checked his myspace, he has a picture of himself and some blonde girl standing next to each other casually. And it made me lose sleep all over again. WTF. First of all, i absolutely abhor myspace because it is a breeding ground for infidelity and makes the deed that much easier, second of all, he told me that this blonde was just a friend and that he had no interest in her because she wasn't attractive to him. But through a mutual friend that neither he nor she knows about, I've found out that they've been hanging out a lot. I think the biggest slap in the face is, that he's been taking her on "little adventures" to find cool places to snap pictures since he's interested in photography and i originally gave him that idea when i was still with him! Throughout the whole relationship, i tried getting him to come out of his shell and go places and when he dumps me, he follows my advice but does it with some BLONDE girl he doesn't know as long as me!

 

I am SO hurt and angry right now and i hate him so much like you wouldn't believe. And i feel like such a bad person for feeling that way!!! I wake up a lot with a pain and emptiness in my chest because i just know he's getting closer to that girl. i've already been told that he's not worth it and to move on, etc. etc. Which i am. I've been getting out more and talking to people but it doesn't take away the pain and the feeling of INADEQUACY. I guess a lot of time will eventually heal my heart. But what does this girl have that I don't have? Why is she so awesome to him? He's getting his bachelors in April and I'd be finishing up my second year in college. He didn't even tell me what I did wrong or provide any closure. He just left me for a happy and hyper blue eyed party girl, so i feel that he UPGRADED because I must be boring as sh*t or something :( that's what kills me MOST OF ALL. it never feels good to be replaced by someone that appears more cute and fun then you are.

 

i really don't want to feel this way, but am i a bad person for feeling so much anger toward this whole thing?

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You are not crazy! The feelings you are having are completely natural, it is just very important that you dont act on them. Dont be the crazy gf and give them something to talk about. Be happy and independent and that is by far the best 'revenge'.

 

My ex and i were together almost 3 years. The night before we broke up I was pretty sure he cheated on me with an acquantance of mine (his best friends ex gf). Well, after the break up I kept hearing about them hanging out and stuff and it made my blood boil!!! I did nothing. 3 months later I receieve emails about how they were never together (as a couple, they did sleep together quite a few times), that he misses me, she doesnt compare, he will love me forever. . . My response "See ya lata!!!!" I had also learned he cheated on me a few times.

 

I would LOVE to email her and tell her what I think of her...but I dont. Even him....I wrote him a letter, no curse words or anything telling him what i thought of him.

 

To this day (Almost 4 months since the break up) I still can get my adrenaline racing when I think of her and him...

 

STOP CHECKING HIS MYSPACE!!!!!!!!!! My ex has one too and he took it off private...I have checked it once in the past 2 months and I am done!

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Spoonandfork22

totally agree about myspace and facebook and friendster and all that crap that just promotes meeting people you could potentially screw. Sooo glad my bf finds those things ridiculous!! It helps me from losing sleep at night!

 

 

Its perfectly normal to hurt from a breakup, its going to take awhile to heal and forget about these things. like the above poster said, STOP CHECKING HIS PAGE. I was in stalker mode with an ex and tried to find all these people he was talking to or seeing or friends with. I ended up deleting his page and any contact with him to prevent myself from going crazy. Its not worth it! This is going to prevent you from healing if you keep checking what hes doing. I know break ups suck..THEY SUCK, but you have to get out there, go out with your gf's and take time to yourself. No phone calls to him, no IM's..NO CONTACT. This is easier said than done but he shouldnt have the upper hand here, YOU SHOULD. He ended things with you and you should take this time to find yourself again and become strong within yourself.

 

All the best.

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starlite and spoonandfork22,

 

thanks for the advice. oh and i am SO NOT acting on him and her. GROSS. don't you worry. i feel like i've been stabbed a million times every time i think about him being in love with her, but i definitely won't look at his page anymore because it will dig the nail in deeper into my heart and sooner or later he'll have "in a relationship" as his status. i just can't believe someone can switch from being with someone for three years and then go fall in love with someone that they haven't shared as much time with. se la vie right. it just sucks that he's happy with "his girl" and at the top of the world now after throwing me to the curb and leaving me with nothing. f**king awesome.

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Heya! Im not to good on giving advice but I just wanted to let you no you are not alone! My ex bf of two years left me about a month ago saying 'he did not love me anymore' and had another new gf that night! It completly ripped my heart out when I saw all the comments he left her on bebo and all the photos of them together so wateva u do DON'T GO ON HIS FACE BOOK!! I (like you) have no idea how he could just completly swich his feelings off for me and get someone else the same day! We had a really strong relationship and were talking marriage so it was a complete shock! He hasn't contacted me since and it really breaks my heart!

I no its sooo hard but you just have to be strong and eventually things will work out for you in the end!!

Just remember you are not alone and wer all here to help

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