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Men fantasizing about other women during sex...?


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Old 31st August 2006, 4:22 PM   #1
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Men fantasizing about other women during sex...?

Is it true men fantasy about other women while having sex with the woman they say they are in love with?

Do all men do this and if so do they think it is wrong? Is it considered cheating to men to do this?

In my opinion I would consider this a huge betrayal.

I am just wondering if it is true. A man told me thinking about another women during intercourse with a woman they love is a big No No and I am wondering if he is right in all mens eyes
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Old 31st August 2006, 4:31 PM   #2
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You can't control what people fantasize about either while masturbating or during sex. It doesn't mean they want to have sex with anyone else, nor is it cheating. Some men and women probably do fantasize about others while having sex. Some don't.

Cheating is when you're actually having sex with someone else without your partner's knowledge and approval. Fantasizing is not cheating.

Why do people want to control others' thoughts so much? I don't get it.
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Old 31st August 2006, 4:34 PM   #3
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Wait, you mistunderstood. I never said I wanted to control anyones mind. I merely asked a question.

I ask "Is it true men fantasy about other women while having sex with the woman they say they are in love with?"

No where in there does it say I want to control his mind.
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Old 31st August 2006, 4:36 PM   #4
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1. Is it true men fantasize about other women while having sex with the woman they say they are in love with?

Some do from time to time but most men concentrate on getting to the point of orgasm. Thinking about other women would mostly be a distraction.

2. Do all men do this and if so do they think it is wrong?

It is not wrong to think about anything whatsoever. Thoughts are thoughts. Some may feel a little guilty but thoughts come and go and most people, men and women, just accept them as they pass through. Thinking in anykind of abstract form during sex could make the lovemaking process a bit more arduous.

3. Is it considered cheating to men to do this?

To the ones who do, it's not considered cheating. It's considered multitasking.
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Old 31st August 2006, 4:37 PM   #5
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I assumed since you think it's a big betrayal if he does, that you'd like to make sure he doesn't. I apologize for making that assumption.
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Old 31st August 2006, 10:03 PM   #6
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well yea i can see why a man or woman mite fantasize about another man or woman during sex cuz its like that when u masterbate which can make it fun cuz u feel like u can have sex with anyone in ur mind lol.. but yea if he like calls out the name of another woman than that shows hes thinking of someone thats been on his mind. sometimes someone will randomly pop in ur head during sex or masterbation and it feels like ur imagining sex with that person when ur really not haha. but yea i wouldnt sweat it because if a guy your with masterbates then he probly doesnt always think of you when he does it. i know i didnt think of my ex when id get myself off. its just the excitement of imagination, its not that you truly have feelings for the person in ur head when u do sexual things. this probly differs from person to person but im just speaking from experience
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Old 31st August 2006, 10:13 PM   #7
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It's a betrayal to even think about a different partner?

Now I've heard it all.
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Old 31st August 2006, 10:30 PM   #8
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Yikes, I don't even want to think that my boyfriend might be fantasizing about another women while we are making love.

Call me insecure. I don't care what he needs to do to get off when he masturbates BY HIMSELF....but, when he's with me, then I want him to be concentrating on me.

Otherwise, If he was thinking about another woman while having sex with me, then I'd feel used. Like it was about him getting off, and not about us connecting.

Wow, I feel insecure. You know, he does close his eyes during orgasm and keeps them closed for a few minutes. He won't even look at me....it really bothers me...I always look at him after and smile...hmm, maybe he is fantasizing.

I'll tell you that I did fantasize about another guy once while I was with my boyfriend. I felt horrible after, like I was selfish and distant from my boyfriend. Being with him liked that didn't make him feel special to me, it made me feel like I objectified him.

I never did it again. I always focus on him while I'm making love to him. It makes me feel close to him.

Now I wonder what he is thinking about, or WHO is he is thinking about (whom? )
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Old 31st August 2006, 10:57 PM   #9
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Honestly I would hate the idea of a guy thinking of someone else while doing me.

You can't control thoughts or fantasies but I suggest to all you peeps that maybe thinking of someone else while making love to another. Do not disclose this information. Some things are better left unsaid. And by all means never call out another's name

I personally would never ask anyone if they have ever thought of anyone else either. Some things are just better off unknown, why ask for drama?
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Old 31st August 2006, 11:04 PM   #10
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I've never consciously fantasied about someone else, but I have had images of either other women or memories of past sexual experiences pop into my head during sex. Of course, I've also completely random stuff, too. For some reason, I always get a mental image of a fence in the country whenever I'm getting a blow job.

I'm sure there's some weird psychological reason for all of this, but I don't dwell on it.

I wouldn't consider it cheating, though. Cheating, imho, is physical relations with another person. Period. If fantasy and what-not is considered cheating, then that diminishes the very concept of cheating. Especially since almost everyone fantasizes about someone else at some point in their lives.

Last edited by littlepiggy1; 31st August 2006 at 11:07 PM..
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Old 1st September 2006, 5:27 AM   #11
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I have sometimes thought of a past lover or someone I fancy while making love with my wife. When I am trying to come and it just isn't happening, it can help to shut my eyes and think of someone else, this is rare but I do it occasionally, perhaps my wife does it to but it is not something I would tell her and wouldn't want to here her admit it either :-)
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Old 1st September 2006, 5:34 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superconductor View Post
It's a betrayal to even think about a different partner?

Now I've heard it all.

Ok...

Let me ask you. If you were deeply in love with another woman, and you found out that everytime you had sex with her, she was picturing you as another guy? How would you feel? Happy? Excited? Joyful.

Men, get off this high rope and just try to put yourself in a position like that, then you can spill how'd you feel and lay off the whole bashing women for feeling this way bs.
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Old 1st September 2006, 5:42 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony T View Post
1. Is it true men fantasize about other women while having sex with the woman they say they are in love with?

Some do from time to time but most men concentrate on getting to the point of orgasm. Thinking about other women would mostly be a distraction.
Hmm, I don't think that's strictly accurate, to be honest. Most guys I've been with who I've talked to about this, say they're concentrating on not orgasming - they want the pleasure to last as long as possible. Whether or not they're thinking of another woman to get the pleasure, I haven't ascertained yet...
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Old 1st September 2006, 5:48 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by DarkShadows View Post
Ok...

Let me ask you. If you were deeply in love with another woman, and you found out that everytime you had sex with her, she was picturing you as another guy? How would you feel? Happy? Excited? Joyful.

Men, get off this high rope and just try to put yourself in a position like that, then you can spill how'd you feel and lay off the whole bashing women for feeling this way bs.
I'm with Pixie. I'm sure nobody wants their sexual partner to be thinking of another person during the act, but life's hard enough, without looking for unpleasant thoughts to torture yourself with. Start doing that, and you'll be a target for every sadist out there.

Obviously if your partner looked you in the eyes and said "I'm thinking of the cute girl in my accounts department every time I f*ck you" then it's time to worry. Or, more proactively, kick him out of bed with every ounce of furious energy you have in you....then build a large, moat-surrounded wall around your bed to prevent him from getting back in there.
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Old 1st September 2006, 8:06 AM   #15
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You can't control anyones mind....not saying you are so don't get your panties in a knot. Women do this too, and it is not a betrayal it is human nature...I know I loved the man I was with , I knew I would never cheat on him yet I did fantasize about other things, though he was my primary fantasy. Have you not heard of this before...I find that kinda strange
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