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Dealbreakers


TheSilentType

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TheSilentType

I won't date someone who:

 

1. Is a tomboy

2. Doesn't like animals, especially dogs. Dog first, girl second in my life.

3. Grew up with rich parents

4. Has not had a hard life or has not had to deal with great tragedy or disappointment

5. Dislikes giving money to the poor

6. Is a female-power she-man. Give me a demure, homely girl anyday. Someone kind of who is like Laura Bush. No Hillary Clinton for me, or drunk, obnoxious girls at bars!

7. Is plain without makeup

8. Is one-dimensional. Seriously, if you cannot talk about anything beyond your everyday sphere of things, then I don't wanna know you.

9. Doesn't wear dresses. I swear, so many girls at my school wear pants! What's up with that! It's not like we're so freakin old that you can't wear a freakin dress! Ugh

10. Has had many male sexual partners. I don't care if they been with girls. But if they've been with a lot of guys, then I don't know if I want to be faithful to them. Use, abuse, and then dump

11. Has done or does do drugs

12. Is religious

 

There's more. I'll add later.

 

By the way, I know my chances of meeting a perfect women who has these qualities is less than 0.01%. Still, I can dream

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HokeyReligions

Didn't I see this list previously on LS?

 

Glad you know what you want - so many people don't or only think they do but their expectations are unrealistic.

 

The 'use, abuse, dump' though - that is setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Just because you don't want to settle down with someone or find out during the course of dating that she doesn't meet your priorities is no reason to use or abuse them!

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TheSilentType

Dammit, I didn't see that previous list. Buy hey thats from two years ago...so what the hey.

 

Are my expectations unrealistic HR?

 

And yes, if I do meet a girl with a lot of partners, then I will use, abuse, and dump. But if I meet a girl with few partners, and especially partners that were not losers in my opinion, then I'll treat her well and care for her.

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And yes, if I do meet a girl with a lot of partners, then I will use, abuse, and dump.

 

That's the kind of comment that only people with ugly souls make. Maybe it's time to scrub up a bit if you're to stand a chance with this dream girl.

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TheSilentType

You know nothing of my character to say what you have said. If you knew me, you would know that I'm very generous and very understanding of most people.

 

However, like I said, if I meet a partner who has run the gamut, I will have my fun with them and throw them away. But I will treat the girl who has had few partners, and partners that I could see overall as good people, with respect and adoration.

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TheSilentType

Another dealbreaker...

 

Anyone who has been in a FWB "relationship." This person is pathetic. Atleast a prostitute is smart enough to get money in exchange for sex. A FWB just did it for free with no strings and no relationship. Just a receptacle. Really, lower than a prostitute.

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:laugh: My My My! Aren't we a tad bit shallow?

I find it amusing men can and will have many partners but not us females?

And HR may not know your character but your list speaks loud and clear!

 

Now shew little boy! You are annoying me!:p

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TheSilentType

Well I did not say that women shouldn't hold men to the same standards. If a woman didn't want a man with many partners, or partners who were just dumb, cheap people, then is perfectly free to dispose of that person

 

Personally, I don't think there should be double standards for men and women in terms of accountability for sexual relationships. What's good for the geese is good for the gander or however that saying goes.

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Guys who would not have a serious relationship with girls who have had many sexual partners BUT think that it is okay to use, abuse and dump them are at the top in my "won't date (hopefully)" list.

 

I also would rather not date guys who are, or look like they are:

 

- abusers

- cheaters

- too judgemental

- generally rude or mean to people

- specifically rude or mean to me

- trying to make me change my ideas about politics, religion, and important matters. I'm fine with religious guys, but I'm not religious. I can accept that my partner might have different views on politics, as long as he does not attack mine. I hate discussing religion and politics.

- I also would rather not date guys whose ideas of what is acceptable or not in a committed relationship differ much from mine.

- not enough interesting to date according to my own ideas of what makes a guy interesting (I guess this was implicit).

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TheSilentType

And by abuse, I did not mean physically abuse. I would never do that. But I would go for a ride on the bicycle. If you're going to let every low-life loser stick their dick in you, you have no respect for yourself and are cheap.

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bluechocolate

Like:

 

a fine mess

accurate sterotype

alone together

calculated error

 

and

 

arrogant humility,

 

If you knew me, you would know that I'm very generous and very understanding of most people.

 

However, like I said, if I meet a partner who has run the gamut, I will have my fun with them and throw them away.

 

that (^) is called an oxymoron.

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TheSilentType

bluechocolat, the key word is MOST, not ALL. Understanding of MOST people, but not women that play the field.

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And by abuse, I did not mean physically abuse. I would never do that. But I would go for a ride on the bicycle. If you're going to let every low-life loser stick their dick in you, you have no respect for yourself and are cheap.

 

Do you realize that with going for a ride on the bicycle, as you put it, you'd be adding your name to the every low-life loser list?

 

(I mean both that yours would be regarded as a low-life loser attitude by a good number of people, and that this way you'd help cheapen the girl.

That is, if a girl can actually be cheapened this way. Which is, IMO, cheap thinking.))

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TheSilentType

Ugh! Everyone has become so fixated on one thing on my list! :rolleyes: What about the other things that I have listed?

 

What about your own dealbreakers?

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I would not date a guy who...

 

~was religious

~republican

~racist/homophobic

~did not have at least a bachelors degree

~one of those stupid looking wanna be 'gangsta' types :sick:

~had no manners/tact

~had nasty teeth

~didn't read

~has never traveled out of the US

~was overall dull, one dimensional and stupid

 

I'm sure there is more but that's all I can think of for now

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You know nothing of my character to say what you have said. If you knew me, you would know that I'm very generous and very understanding of most people.

 

Sucks, doesn't it? When someone makes negative assumptions about you, and writes you off as a human being?

 

If you're going to let every low-life loser stick their dick in you, you have no respect for yourself and are cheap.

 

People show a lot of themselves on this board, in the way they perceive and frame things. From the fact that a woman has had several sexual partners, you're prepared to draw the conclusions that

 

a) She would let any "low-life loser stick his dick in her",

b) She has no respect for herself; and

c) is "cheap".

 

Yet it's offensive for other people to make judgement calls about your character based on the views you've expressed on this board?

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TheSilentType
I would not date a guy who...

 

~one of those stupid looking wanna be 'gangsta' types :sick:

 

~has never traveled out of the US

 

 

 

I agree with the "gangsta" comment. That's one example of a person who if my partner was involved with, I'd throw her away.

 

You said you won't day someone who hasn't travelled out of the U.S.? Well, what if they came from a poor family without the means to do a lot of travelling? What if they like to travel, but never had the money or time to do it? Is that still a dealbreaker for you?

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Lindya- I am always very impressed when a woman sticks up for this virgin/whore complex engrained on the male psyche.

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You said you won't day someone who hasn't travelled out of the U.S.? Well, what if they came from a poor family without the means to do a lot of travelling? What if they like to travel, but never had the money or time to do it? Is that still a dealbreaker for you?

 

This is the one on my list that is not 100% solid since I agree that not everyone has the means to travel out of the country. However seeing the world is something I find very attractive since I have seen a huge portion of it myself and find people who have traveled to be more interesting and aware of the world. I have actually never had a bf who has not been out of the country but it is the one thing on my list that I could let go of.

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I know my chances of meeting a perfect women who has these qualities is less than 0.01%. Still, I can dream

 

And assuming you do meet a lady who meets your exact specifications, the odds of you meeting hers are pretty darn slim too. You should also consider her age/experience. For example, "Has done or does do drugs." If she's 25 years old and did a couple of joints in college? Who cares?

 

Personally, I do have deal-breakers, we all do. I once lost all interest in a girl when she chewed with her mouth open. It's better to focus on what you want than what you don't want though.

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TheSilentType
I know my chances of meeting a perfect women who has these qualities is less than 0.01%. Still, I can dream

 

And assuming you do meet a lady who meets your exact specifications, the odds of you meeting hers are pretty darn slim too.

 

That's very true. I know the likelihood of being a perfect match is very distant.

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Lindya- I am always very impressed when a woman sticks up for this virgin/whore complex engrained on the male psyche.

 

 

I don't just think it's a male perception. My own mother used to talk in the most horrifically judgemental terms - and actually still does sometimes -about "sluts" and "tarts". I think having a son makes it worse ("I won't let some loose floozy get her hands on my precious boy!!!"). I'd say she was far more judgemental than my dad about that kind of thing. Maybe it's a sexual hang up (I don't even want to think about that...)

 

Anyway - on topic: Deal-breakers. I guess there are certain types of behaviour that I've witnessed on a first date and which prevented me from going on a second. Here are a few:

 

1. Spitting on the street (last occurrence of this, when I was 20). Add to that overuse of swear words - some is okay...but I can't stand it when every fifth word is f*ck - and general lack of social awareness.

2. Signs of tunnel vision/inability to debate intelligently

3. Inability to understand irony/dry humour

4. Ignorance that manifests itself in racist comments or snap judgements that dont hold up to examination.

5. Absence of chemistry when we kiss.

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That's very true. I know the likelihood of being a perfect match is very distant.

 

Perfect match is not the same as having all or most of your 'must haves' in a partner, or in this case not having any deal breaking traits. I think I am reasonable w/ my list of deal breakers and have never had to settle for a deal breaker. I actually started seeing, and became exclusive with someone who fits my list recently, so it happens, as long and you are reasonable.

 

Also I forgot these and would like to add them to my list

~no druggies, weed is fine but no pot heads

~no guy that needs medication for emotional stability

~no criminal record

~no kids

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TheSilentType
From the fact that a woman has had several sexual partners, you're prepared to draw the conclusions that

 

a) She would let any "low-life loser stick his dick in her",

b) She has no respect for herself; and

c) is "cheap".

 

Yet it's offensive for other people to make judgement calls about your character based on the views you've expressed on this board?

 

Chances are that for a woman who has had a lot of partners, not every partner truly cared for her. Are you going to tell me that a woman who has had many partners, that all those guys were great guys who loved her? Maybe a few of them were one-night stands or FWBs. In any case, she was just a quick receptacle for some horny guy, he got what he wanted, and then he merrily moved on to his next conquest. Call me whatever you want, but these women are hardly class acts.

 

I know class acts. I am surrounded by these women everyday, and I know from speaking to these beautiful girls that they are the type any guy would be proud to have as a partner. They are not prudes or boring, but they have enough respect not to be every other loser's quick conquest.

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