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How do you stop the pain of missing someone??


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Old 10th July 2006, 8:10 PM   #1
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Unhappy How do you stop the pain of missing someone??

Hi,

As per my last post, the guy i have been seeing for the past 7 months is now overseas for 10 weeks.. I am having trouble coping with the pain of missing him, its doing my head in!!! He is trekking around South America, Central America and the USA.. His phone has been off for the past 2 weeks and all i want to do is speak to him and I cant. Not too mention that I like to know that he is safe... I know he probably is in remote areas where he is unable to get phone service, I am just not coping with the fact that I can not speak to him.. I can't pick up the phone to say hi or tell him that i miss him!!!

It just feels like the time is dragging on....

The hard part is I dont even actually know where we stand with each other either.. He has said he cares about me, and I should trust him while away, but his priorities were travelling over me, so he wasn't willing to make a proper commitment to me before he went away!!!

How do people cope in this situation??? and how do you stop yourself from going mad with thoughts. I think about him constantly, I cry all the time and about anything and everything!!! HELP!!!!
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:20 PM   #2
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Is he overseas on vacation or in the military? Ok first you go out with friends...No you don't have to go to the club or anything of that sort but you maybe just hangout at a friends house....I was in same kinda situation...I broke up with my bf for about three months I just went to my best friends house even when she was at work I would go hang out with her mom, her husband, take her baby to get ice cream just so I would think about him or attempt to call him. Trust me it helps alot. Maybe for you it want be friends see my best friend the person I went to see everyday is just like a sister to me and her mom is like my mom. So maybe for you it will be a sister, mom, cousin, etc....at times like this you probably need someone to talk to, to lean on, maybe find a new guy interest??? I dont know you just have to decide. How serious was you two before he left? Oh the reason I asked about the military was because of course that could be a very big priority. If it was his job before he met you. Also if he had this trip planned for a while it could be important....Maybe he is just wanting to have fun at the same time he may just be wanting to have fun as a single guy. I don't really know how you two were before he left. It isnt wrong he is going overseas. But if he loves you he would be calling you all the time. He would be worring about you the way you are worring about him. But if he is in the army he may not be able to call you. I just really need more info from you before I can form any opinions of my own.
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:25 PM   #3
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Oops...misread original post.
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:28 PM   #4
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Thanks SNO for your reply!! I really appreciate it. He is just on vacation, it is something he had planned before we got together, and something he needs to do for himself which I understand totally!!!! He is trekking around the jungle so I know ok it maybe hard for him to contact me.. but its not impossible.. I have great friends, but I feel that even though they care and listen, i just go round and round in circles and they just say what i want to hear.. I have one friend who really listens to me and helps me understand his side.. I just feel like I am probably being a burden to her as I talk to her everyday and say the same things and cry everytime i speak to her...
Before he left, we were quite close, spent the whole weekend together before he left and it was wonderful... But he still said to me, he does care about me alot, he needs to do this, this is his priority so therefore couldnt commit totally to me.. He told me he probably wouldnt contact me only via email every now and then.. I just dont know how to get him out of my brain 24/7...
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:38 PM   #5
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First if you friend is really a friend she want care she can listen to the same old broken record 500 times and it will still be brand new too her. I know I drive my best friend crazy one min Im in love the next I am crying. One day Im not with my bf one min I am...but she will answer the door at two in the morning and stay awake until I fall asleep just because she knows I need her. Im sure your friend is the same way. Dont bottle things up tell her. Yeah you need to talk and it may help to talk to me I dont mind at all....but mostly you need that friend who knows you better than anyone.

What I get from this is...he cares about you. This was planned before you. He wants to do this obviously. He is in the jungle? So it probably is hard for him to reach you. If he would spend the whole weekend with you before he left then you are the important person in his life....Right now if I was going on vacation I would spend that weekend with my bf and my god baby and my best friend. So if you where one of those people he choose trust me u are important
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:43 PM   #6
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Thank you!!!! You are really helping!! Basically needed to know someone else has been through this and I am not going mad...

I am the same, one minute I miss him so much, the next minute i want to tell him I can't wait here anymore, but then I think he is having an experience of a lifetime and he wont be thinking about our relationship status while he is away.. When i spoke to him last ( i woke him up and he wasn't too impressed, the time difference thing is pretty hard as its 15 hours behind...) I asked him if we are still okay and he said to me "Nothing has changed between us, why would it"... What do you take on that statement??? I could take it two ways, one being that we are still seeing each other, I still care.. etc.. or... We are still not commited to each other why would that change? I know i am analysing every little comment he makes to me and that is also driving me crazy!!!
Yes my friend is very supportive.. She is always there for me.. I might take you up on your offer to talk to you as well..
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:50 PM   #7
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He is saying nothing has changed he still cares he isnt going anywhere His feelings are still there he is just having fun right now. If he was asleep thats why you thought he was being distant. My bf likes to wake up early so around 5:30 in the morning he would call me....I hated it I would be so mean to him. When I shouldnt I was the first thing he thought of in the morning but when I am asleep you dont mess with me. I understand why you are analysing every little thing he says because I do the same with my bf it just takes someone who doesnt have the emotional strings there to help you understand what it means.
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:54 PM   #8
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Dont forget he is a man...women think differently. we think he hasnt called because he doesnt love us He hasnt really called because he hasnt had time and has been busy enjoy the trip.....
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Old 10th July 2006, 9:59 PM   #9
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Yes you are right!!! And definately that we just need to hear things from someone who isnt involved in the situation..
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Old 10th July 2006, 10:09 PM   #10
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I hope I helped I am about to get off here. But just dont stress it anymore. He cares for you and he is gonna commit to you. Dont argue with him right now. When he gets back you can tell him all your insecurities. Right now just tell him you care about him. And miss him. And want him back home. Dont push him away pull him in. Tell him you are going crazy not from being scared just from missing him.....My moto is Live every min like it is your last. Just dont worry if it is meant to be its meant to be if not some other prince charming will eventually find you. Enjoy him while you have him! If you need anything else I may get back on later I will check back in. If not tonight I will be back tomorrow. Good night well its night here in usa DONT WORRY it will all work out like planned!!!!
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