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Female Feelings VS. Male Feelings


ILoveDaniel

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ILoveDaniel

Let me start out by saying Hello everyone. I'm new to these forums and this is my first post. My boyfriend Daniel and I have been together for nearly 2 years now.

 

Alright, before Daniel and I had that major breakup back in April or May he and I were twix and twin, inseperable. Right when we met he didn't have too many friends and he was pretty much completely devoted to me and I admired that. He cried when we fought, we shared intimate thoughts, we talked about our future, we gave each other "the look." And now everything's changed and it breaks my heart.

 

After we broke up and got back together shortly after, he told me out loud that he wasn't attached to me anymore. Last night we were at my friend Kyle's house and we got into a, not so much as an argument, but a very emotional discussion and he once again told me that he wasn't attached and that he thinks he doesn't have the right emotions. Nowadays since he's got friends, he puts them before me and it's all about "Daniel", it's never about "Kelly" or "Kelly and Daniel." And whenever I tell him about that he shakes his head and gets really pissed. Ever since I came home last night I've been really depressed and so close to crying.

 

I really can't stand it anymore because the only emotion he ever shows me anymore is either anger or happiness. He never shows anything in between, or sadness, or worry for me, or he's never scared that something might happen between us. I've come to the conclusion that he won't attach himself back to me because of that breakup and he thinks that he shouldn't care for me "full-fledgedly" because of what happened. We didn't get to talk any more about it last night because Dad came to pick me up and since he's over Kyle's he doesn't give a bugger about calling me and when he gets home later this afternoon he doesn't have a phone at his house because of their financial problems.

 

And, to add onto that, he didn't bother calling me from Kyles' yesterday until Kyle got on the internet and told me he was over there and I made him tell Daniel to call me. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

I realize completely that he needs his time with his friends and I respect that but sometimes I feel left out and I feel neglected. It didn't feel to well when he came out and told me straight to my face that he wasn't attached to me and I can't really explain WHY that hurt me but can any of you? It's tough knowing something between the both of us is lost and may never come back.

 

I've got one more thing to talk about if you guys don't mind and I swear I could ramble on for ages if I could but here goes. I just turned 17 back in May. Daniel turned 18 in June. My family is what you could call middle class but his family is more over lower class. Daniel tells me that he doesn't want to end up like his parents but he's never had a job before and he's even told me that he wants to put it off for as long as he can.

 

I have only a year left of school whereas he has two (he was held back a long time ago) but neither he or I have a car or any money but once I graduate I'll be the one getting a job and he probably won't have one. I know I'm only 17 but I can already tell that I'll be desperately ready to get out of this house not too long after I graduate but if I don't get a job until I graduate then I'll have to stay here and raise up some money and he probably won't even bother getting a job and do the same!

 

I'm not trying to make him sound like a bum because he's not but the longer he decides to put off getting a job, the longer it will be before we can get out on our own and start that life that we've dreamed of pursuing. Like I said before in the earlier discussion, Daniel doesn't have a phone because his parents couldn't pay for the last phone bill and today when I've asked other people for comfort and advice they've told me that he and I need to work these problems out between ourselves and I desperately want to do that but him not having a phone or any contact with me just puts that much more stress and depression on me and it really hurts not having him to talk to or be there for me. I don't even know how much longer it will be until he gets a phone back. He assured me that it wouldn't be long but it's been 2 or 3 weeks and every day just gets harder because the problems that we have are being pushed aside more and more.

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