clynn Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do. Are there men that disagree with this? Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Sure there are men that do not have sex for the sake of just getting laid. My H is one....... went 4 years without even trying to get laid. Even with offers from many women that he considered either too ditzy, too much baggage, or just not attracted to them at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do. Are there men that disagree with this? Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake? Of course there. Its a big world out there. Lots of men just want sex for the pleasure and lots of men will only have sex with someone that they care for and love. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Last guy I was with actually turned me down initially (meaning for sex)because he wanted to be sure that he wanted to take that step emotionally. it was annoying at the time cuz he had hinted that we were gonna...so then when it didn't happen, it was like wtf?? Some men actually do attach feeling to it. Of course I'm sure most people can detach emotion if they really want to, but personally, I'd rather have emotions behind it. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
shoedevil Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do. Are there men that disagree with this? Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake? I wouldn't, and couldn't, and haven't had sex "just to do it". I don't separate the physical act from the person I'm having it with. It's just not in my emotional/ethical behavior to do so. It's too much like objectifying someone, in my book. Based upon the number of men who admit to having casual sex (something like 25%-30% in surveys), I don't believe that most men really would either. However, I think more men than women can and do separate their emotions from sex. Infidelity is an example of this phenomenon. More men than women admit to being unfaithful (and for different reasons), but do most all men cheat? I don't think they do. Then again, I could be wrong... Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I've met one who doesn't like casual sex and I dated him. Every other guy I've ever come across in my age group all have casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Maria33 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I read an article in a magazine that said that if guys have too many sex partners, they are more likely to separate themselves from the emotional part of it. I believe it too. How else could a man get to know someone for months, then have sex, then say they didn't feel anything? I think he had WAY too many partners in the past! Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I know I do, or at least the emotions I experience are not particularly related to romance or love. Biologically, I just don't think I'm wired for it. But I'm glad that [most][more] women do -- it's a civilizing experience. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I know it is a pretty common statement to say that men don't attach emotions to sex in the same way that women do. For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other. Damn Alpha were we separated at birth? I agree 100%. Which is probably weird to many because I do not have a penis. (2 in my drawer tho) Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I've had both. I like sex with someone you love MUCH better. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 hmm.. I must have a magnet for men who can't emotionally connect. Damn.. I find all the rotten apples in the bottom of the barrel. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?" In a casual sex relationship, I do believe most men have no need for emotions, while most women do. Obviously, there are many exceptions, but it works as a general rule. I also see, though, that in a long-term relationship, men become more emotional over time and develop emotional intimacy with their partners through sex. Then, they have a harder time letting go if the relationship ends. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I'm going to get flamed for this, but I think that men who attach no emotion to sex are WAY more likely to cheat. AND they will expect you to forgive, because it "didn't mean anything, and it's only natural for men to want to spread their seed, stop being so insecure." And they are also likely to have a double standard, i.e., expect complete faithfulness from you while they f around. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 For me there are two types of sex....the sex with someone you love and the sex with someone you don't love. Both types have their pros and cons but one is not better than the other. Damn Alpha were we separated at birth? I agree 100%. Which is probably weird to many because I do not have a penis. (2 in my drawer tho) I feel similar.... i used to not let myself get emotional connected when i first started having sex, but the guys were the casual types as well. nowadays...... well since the break up with my ex of 3.5 years, and with my new bf..... i am emotionally involved. i think the later is better. i feel more comfortable, which means i relax more, let myself go a little more.....cum more often, etc..... casual sex is fun..... but sex with someone you feel for is better. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?" In a casual sex relationship, I do believe most men have no need for emotions, while most women do. Obviously, there are many exceptions, but it works as a general rule. I also see, though, that in a long-term relationship, men become more emotional over time and develop emotional intimacy with their partners through sex. Then, they have a harder time letting go if the relationship ends. Hmm so does this mean if I give it up to the guy I want long enough he will develop an emotional attachement to me and won't want to let go of me. :lmao: I think this will backfire at times... How many threads are there about FWB and the woman falls for the man and she wants more and he doesn't.. NO matter how long the FWBs has been going on he still doesn't have the emotional connection she has. Or you try to end a relationship because its not mentally or emotionally fullfilling, yet you still care for him/her, and they won't let you go but they also arent willing to communicate, compromise and work through the issue you had in the relationship. You still feel an attachement to them and are vulnerable to that person but you know its not going to go anywhere.. If you continue the sex the partner is becoming more and more attached when your not because the previous issues arent resolved.. Backfire.. Backfire.. Backfire.. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?" In a casual sex relationship, I do believe most men have no need for emotions, while most women do. Obviously, there are many exceptions, but it works as a general rule. . I think there are more exceptions now then in the past.... I think women have had it engrained in them not to have sex unless you love the man.... where men have been told it is better to plug as many holes as possible. Now many women look at a man as just a possible great piece of ass. No need to think about forever, marriage, or raising a family with a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Sapiens Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?" In a casual sex relationship, I do believe most men have no need for emotions, while most women do. Obviously, there are many exceptions, but it works as a general rule. I also see, though, that in a long-term relationship, men become more emotional over time and develop emotional intimacy with their partners through sex. Then, they have a harder time letting go if the relationship ends. To me casual sex is akin to mastubating, no real emotion there other than the physical pleasure and release. Intimate intercouse with a partner is a whole other matter, it takes lots of trust to reach that point though, then yes I could be said to be emotionally attached. -Sapiens Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hmm so does this mean if I give it up to the guy I want long enough he will develop an emotional attachement to me and won't want to let go of me. :lmao: I think this will backfire at times... How many threads are there about FWB and the woman falls for the man and she wants more and he doesn't.. NO matter how long the FWBs has been going on he still doesn't have the emotional connection she has. Or you try to end a relationship because its not mentally or emotionally fullfilling, yet you still care for him/her, and they won't let you go but they also arent willing to communicate, compromise and work through the issue you had in the relationship. You still feel an attachement to them and are vulnerable to that person but you know its not going to go anywhere.. If you continue the sex the partner is becoming more and more attached when your not because the previous issues arent resolved.. Backfire.. Backfire.. Backfire.. Maybe I should have phrased that in 'healthy, long-term relationships'... Link to post Share on other sites
IWalkAlone Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Don't the books say, "Women need to have emotional intimacy in order to have sex, and men need sex in order to get to emotional intimacy?" I hate this generalization. So those men who have lots of affairs or hook up with lots of women can do so because lots of women have "emotional intimacy" with them? What BS. Women are just as capable of casual sex as men. The difference is that women generally have higher standards for how hot a casual sex partner has to be. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 The difference is that women generally have higher standards for how hot a casual sex partner has to be. AMEN..... Power to the Pussy!! Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake? I am uncomfortable with just sex. Not only do I need to be attracted to the woman, but I also have to respect her (therefore I don't sleep with sluts or easy girls from bars). I usually have a bit of an emotional connection, that is I feel close to them, but I can do without feeling like we're a "couple". So yeah it can still be sex without a relationship. But not just with any woman Link to post Share on other sites
Sapiens Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Any men that are uncomfortable having sex for sex sake? Not me, it is a natural desire and I make no apologies for my masculinity. -Sapiens Link to post Share on other sites
Author clynn Posted June 16, 2006 Author Share Posted June 16, 2006 I am uncomfortable with just sex. Not only do I need to be attracted to the woman, but I also have to respect her (therefore I don't sleep with sluts or easy girls from bars). I usually have a bit of an emotional connection, that is I feel close to them, but I can do without feeling like we're a "couple". So yeah it can still be sex without a relationship. But not just with any woman So an exgirlfriend might be appropriate to ring up? Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 My boyfriend and I actually jumped into it quickly... which is not normally how I do things. But I do know that he won't have sex with someone just for the sake of having sex with them. I think his past ripped him of that. He'd rather know that he's going to be emotionally involved with them before having sex. Thus, why we're together. ;D Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts