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my girlfriends past hurts me so much


theused5

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ok i know alot of guys out there post there stories about they hate their girlfriends pasts and how they just cant get over it. but my situation is a little different. Ive been in a relationship for the past 14 months and its been wonderful all around ive never been happier. When we first started going out we talked alot and i found out before we started dating that she had a one nite stand and gotten double teamed by two guys but the first time she mentioned it she said she was so intoxicated that she didnt know it happened. about a week later i found out from her friend that she lied to me and she knew exactly what she was doing she just didnt want to come off as a slut and i would say for about the first 6 months into our relationship she would actually BRAG about it to her friends in front of me and say how these were the hottest guys ever and she scored and that it was the best time of her life:( ... every single day i get really emotional about this.. i think to myself how the hell do i compete with that.. i even brought up to her how i felt about this and she shrugged it off like it was nothing... everyday it gets worse and so many things i hear or see reminds me of these things she said and the crappy mood she's put me.. in i dont know what to do to get over this any help would be greatly appreciated.

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resentfulspouse

the bitch is a pig, dump her and move on! What she did is disgusting, and to be proud of it is just wrong. Find a girl with some pride and move on.

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catgirl1927

So you knew about this even before you started dating? Why would you stay if this was such a problem for you? I don't mean to be mean, but it almost sounds like a troll, like you're trying to set off another discussion about whether or not women should be allowed to have sexual histories. If this really is a problem for you, you should have ended it before now. If you knew about it and claimed to accept it you can't hold it against her now. Either let it go or end it, there's no reason for both of you to be unhappy about something that can't be changed.

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i found all this out after we started dating i love her so much but how do i get over that its not as easy as you think uve probablly never been in this situation

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catgirl1927
ok i know alot of guys out there post there stories about they hate their girlfriends pasts and how they just cant get over it. but my situation is a little different. Ive been in a relationship for the past 14 months and its been wonderful all around ive never been happier. When we first started going out we talked alot and i found out before we started dating that she had a one nite stand and gotten double teamed by two guys but the first time she mentioned it she said she was so intoxicated that she didnt know it happened. about a week later i found out from her friend that she lied to me and she knew exactly what she was doing she just didnt want to come off as a slut and i would say for about the first 6 months into our relationship she would actually BRAG about it to her friends in front of me and say how these were the hottest guys ever and she scored and that it was the best time of her life:( ... every single day i get really emotional about this.. i think to myself how the hell do i compete with that.. i even brought up to her how i felt about this and she shrugged it off like it was nothing... everyday it gets worse and so many things i hear or see reminds me of these things she said and the crappy mood she's put me.. in i dont know what to do to get over this any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

?? I'm confused then.

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sorry i didnt explain that very well i found out before we started dating that she has had 3 other sexual partners i assumed they were all her ex's.. after we started dating i found out what the situations were

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catgirl1927

Well, if it bothers you this much maybe you should end it. Those are really your choices, get over it or end it. I am of the opinion that the past is the past, but if you are having trouble letting it go that's not fair to her or to you. You both deserve to be in relationships with mutual respect and it sounds like you're having a hard time respecting her.

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yea i believe the past is the past to i have no problems with her being sexual in the past with her ex that doesnt bother me at all actually. but y would she say that kind of s*** about getting double teamed to me and brag about it many times in front of me to her friends! how the hell do i get over that when i know ill never be able to compete with that.. ur opionions are appreciated but they dont help u dont really understand the situation.

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Ahhhhh here we go again.

 

Now if she was a guy on got two girls to sleep with her it wouldn't be as bad huh? She would then be a stud muffin!!

 

How many guys brag about that deal/ fantasy to their buddies?

 

You need to tell her that mentioning it does bother you.... or bringing it up in front of you in public at least does.

 

I guess the single guy did not bother you simply because doing two men is terrible for a women but ok for a man to have 2 women at once?????

 

Look at it that way..... but it is disrespectful if she is rubbing it in your face be it 2 guys or 1 guy.

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catgirl1927

Well, it sounds like you don't really appreciate opinions, and if you get one then you say that person doesn't understand the situation.

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ronnieromance

Dude, man up. Dump her or do dirty s*** to her too. She's obviously a dirty little girl. It sounds to me like you have a unicorns and rose petals view of sex, though, so you'd probably be better of with a girl who's only had sex in missionary. You're insecure and you need to find the root of that, or else this issue will appear in future relationships.

 

 

-R-

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i know alot of guys would brag about that s*** but im not that kind of a guy im not one who sleeps with as many people as possible to brag about it. i like being in a relationship and i definatly agree that its f***ed up that shes been shoving that s*** in my face. i think both guys and girls can be pigs especially guys i hear about my friends hitting and quiting so many girls but im always the one to tell them thats a f***ed up deal. im not the typical guy ive only been with 2 girls and im pretty happy about that. most of my friends are jelous of me and my gf and they should be being in a relationship is f'in awesome you'll never be able to go through all the great things a relationship has to offer compared to a one night stand ... but the past still hurts i cant change my feelings.. w/e

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ronnieromance

Stop taking it personally and lighten up. She's just trying to light a fire under your ass because your pobabably a boring lay.

 

You can change your feelings when they stem from irratrationality.

 

 

 

-R-

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Hitman10000

Dude she's a porker, ditch that ho! Would you want that kind of mother raising kids? People who use examples "Well what about guys who fantasize or actually had sex with a bunch of woman" Get this, if you are not like that, she shouldn't be either. I'd never marry a girl who had a questionable past or even questionable associations with people.

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Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half and apparently my past really bothers her. I've only slept with 5 people, one of them was a one-night stand that I deeply regret and realized afterwards that I never wanted another one. They were all meaningful relationships, just one one-night stand and yet, she can't get passed it. She asked me once while intoxicated "Did you enjoy it?" and honestly, truthfully, I've never enjoyed sex more than with her. It's getting better now, I think it just takes time. She knows I wish I wasn't with anyone else, I don't shove the s*** in her face, I definately don't brag, and I think that's made it easier for her. Your gf shouldn't brag about it on a serious note. It's one thing to make references to it, but not brag about it. It makes you feel like she wants that lifestyle again, and that's not fair to you.

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Dump her.

 

If you have issues with her sexuality, it isn't fair to her or you to maintain a relationship.

 

Just because certain sex acts don't freak some people out doesn't mean it is wrong or you are "hung up" if they freak you out. Find someone who shares your feelings on this issue.

 

Or, you could stay and use this opportunity to explore fantasies that you have with her. If she'll tag-team two guys, she is probably up for pretty much anything. But if that's not you, split.

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If this is something that you cannot deal with than the best thing to do is end it.

 

If you truly think that she is a whore for doing this I doubt you can pretend it never happened. Cut both of your losses and hit the road.

 

BTW I did not read where this is a lifestyle for her or she has done this more than once.

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What I don't understand is why is having 2 partners at once considered such a dirty thing for a man or a women?? I mean granted it isn't something you should do through out your adult life, but many young people experiment with multiple sex partners and then get over it. If she is throwing it in your face that is one thing, but if you knew about it beforehand, you really don't have much of a leg to stand on.

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I think the real issue also is that you don't feel like you can talk to her about this, she just shrugs it off. As if you're supposed to feel like it never happened? I'm assuming that's why you're here, asking for advice, cuz you can't talk to her. Maybe you need to sit her ass down and say "LISTEN!" and tell her how you feel and ask her for truths and reassurance. Everyone has a sexual past, what matters is how they feel about it now, did they hate it? appreciate it? grateful for it? wish it never happened? You need to ask her these things.

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I'd never marry a girl who had a questionable past or even questionable associations with people.

 

:laugh: You will have a hard time finding a wife then

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ronnieromance
Dump her.

 

If you have issues with her sexuality, it isn't fair to her or you to maintain a relationship.

 

Just because certain sex acts don't freak some people out doesn't mean it is wrong or you are "hung up" if they freak you out. Find someone who shares your feelings on this issue.

 

Or, you could stay and use this opportunity to explore fantasies that you have with her. If she'll tag-team two guys, she is probably up for pretty much anything. But if that's not you, split.

 

 

QFT

 

 

 

 

 

That's Qouted For Truth

 

 

 

-R-

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The bragging about it is the turn off.

 

It's in her past, she wasn't cheating on you or anyone else. If you can't deal with it, you need to find someone who you find more compatible.

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If this isn't a troll, then this stuff is really, really simple:

 

If you think something she did is nasty (which getting doubled up by two guys is) then don't go out with her. Just break up. All you do is make yourself feel and look silly by sitting around being wounded by her past.

 

Of course women are "allowed" to have sexual pasts, just like men are allowed not to have a job, or be emotionally weak, or whatever. Just don't date someone you cannot respect.

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catgirl1927
If this isn't a troll, then this stuff is really, really simple:

 

If you think something she did is nasty (which getting doubled up by two guys is) then don't go out with her. Just break up. All you do is make yourself feel and look silly by sitting around being wounded by her past.

 

Of course women are "allowed" to have sexual pasts, just like men are allowed not to have a job, or be emotionally weak, or whatever. Just don't date someone you cannot respect.

 

Haha! So for a woman to have had sex before she met you is the same as a guy refusing to get a job or being a loser. Nice.

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