LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Why do I push her away?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Old 11th June 2006, 2:03 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2
Why do I push her away?

Hi


I'm a 22 year old male and I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months. She's everything I dream of and more. She's the perfect girl in my eyes and I'm so happy to be with her... at times, I feel like the luckiest person.

But my problem is that sometimes I just push her away. I will often start a fight and won't let it end until I almost completely push her away. For some reason, I'll just pick a fight over absoluetly nothing. I push her away... blame her for something thats not her fault.... For some reason, she won't leave me... and after a couple of hours I stop and realize that I can't keep pushing her away. She knows I'm trying to.. I know I'm trying to.. but I guess its cause I'm scared. Of what? i dont know.

Now I've done this to many people before.... Every girl thats ever got closed to me, in fact. I am insecure.. but I dont think its the full reason I'm doing this. I was just wondering if anybody else has had the same problem here? I love this girl and I just dont want to go on endlessly pushing her away cause even though she tells me everytime that she wont let me do that (thank god for that cause most girls dont put up with it), I know that it will gradually ruin the relationship.
B-Love is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2006, 9:23 PM   #2
Established Member
 
ronnieromance's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 316
Is she puting this in your head? Not to say you're not doing it, but it sounds like if your this conscious of it yourself, you'd be able to dig a little deeper into your psyche.


-R-
ronnieromance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th June 2006, 1:26 AM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2
No she doesn't put it in my head. I've known for the last 10 years that I always push people away thats close.

And about the psyche thing, I'm actually a psychology major.. I can analyze people without even trying... I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself.
B-Love is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th June 2006, 2:13 AM   #4
Established Member
 
norajane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 13,544
Fear of intimacy? Lots of causes for that, but you should be able to figure out what you're afraid of. Do you have trouble trusting people? Are you afraid she won't like you when she really gets to know you? Is there something about yourself or your past that you're uncomfortable about? Are you afraid she'll walk out and you'd rather cause the break-up than feel rejected?

You're 22 and have known you've had this fear since you were 12? Do you have friends in your psyche classes? Maybe ask them for their insights..they might find it easier to analyze you than you can yourself as they'd be more objective.
norajane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th June 2006, 3:51 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,131
Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Love
I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself.
That's how I am. Can't figure out why I do the things I do. It's mind boggling, sometimes.

Anyways, I think you're scared to let people in - in your heart. You have a fear of getting hurt, and perhaps that's why you push people away. This is, entirely, within you to change for the better. Don't you want to be more confident, and secure?

In due time, you'll slowly avert from this downward cycle.
Sand&Water is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th June 2006, 12:32 PM   #6
Established Member
 
ronnieromance's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Love
No she doesn't put it in my head. I've known for the last 10 years that I always push people away thats close.

And about the psyche thing, I'm actually a psychology major.. I can analyze people without even trying... I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself.
Ya, well, I've never know a pshycology major without an emotional issue. As for analyzing others, it's always easy to pick out the objectives on other people. No one wants to see what's wrong in themselves. It takes a very strong person to do so with any amount of honesty.



-R-
ronnieromance is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
To Push For Marriage or Not? Guest Getting Married 0 1st May 2006 3:29 PM
Push and Pull adrianna Friends and Lovers 3 21st September 2005 12:30 AM
Is she trying to push me away? reid Friendship 5 21st February 2005 6:33 PM
Should I have said that to her? Did it push her away more? mixwell Second Chances 30 16th January 2005 6:19 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:31 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.