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Hurt about what my girlfriend said about me to other people


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Well i'm very new to this forum obviously but i've read a few threads on here and it seems like you guys give some pretty good advice, so I figured I would give it a shot.

 

Here's the situation: My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 4 months now and we've been pretty intensly involved and close the whole time, she's really my first long-term relation ship deal. She's pretty chaotic sometimes, very sensitive and she used to cut herself so i know she has some pretty serious emotional issues. But thats not the problem i have. About a month ago she went out with some of her friends and she got high (on weed) and this other guy kissed her. She said that she was friends with him but didnt like hime as anything more. She told me about it that night and apologized a lot but I misunderstood her and yelled at her and kind of lost it for a little while. I broke up with her for about two days over it as well. We decided to work things out and we got back together but she was still very hurt from me yelling at her and she broke up with me three days later. We were broken up for about a week after that, still talking on the phone regularly the whole time. We got back together and have been, until now, pretty incident free and I was quite happy. But this morning I (very accidently) logged onto her myspace. I saw messages from a month ago around the time all that happened, and it seemed like she really liked the guy that kissed her a lot, and she made no mention of me or that she was in a relationship to him at all. She even said she'd lost all respect for me in one of the messages. Now I know that i'm the definatly the jealous type and im really sensitive her talking to other guys and i was devestated to see that she said that about me. And now i'm worried that if the guy hadnt rejected her that she would have never gotten back together with me. But i'm worried about talking to her about it cause of how sensitive she is and i dont want to just mess everything up again. I just don't know if i can still trust her or not either, and she hasn't talked to the guy at all since then either. So just would like to know if you think i should just put it behind me or not?

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Toni_no12002

The only thing you can really do is talk to her.Otherwise it will bug at you.Explain that your sorry about what happened and maybe you can make a fresh start.If not then i cant see you being together for long.

 

you could try forgetting about it but how long will it be before you are dying to log into her account again?As for the other lad if she isnt that into you anymore why is she still with you.

 

You need to tell her that its one or the other she cant have both.She may have emotional issues but you cant keep walking on eggshells around her because of it.You have feelings to.Your obviously hurt by what shes said and done so you need to tell her.If she feels she can do what she wants because your scared to say anything to her she will do what she wants.Theres two people in a relationship and she has to work at the relationship to.

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thanks for the advice, it really helped put things into perspective, I love this girl a lot and I want to stay with her and I guess that's what matters the most, she is only human so I guess her liking another guy after I yelled at her and put her down isn't that horrible, so thanks again it really helped.

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whichwayisup

You yelling at her should not have pissed her off. Infact, she deserved it. You have every right to be upset and PISSED off that she kissed someone else. And, now you finding out more information about what happened, I can see how that has made you have doubts.

 

You love her, give her another chance. Let her make it up to you and prove she can be trusted. With that being said, make sure SHE understands that you won't put up with being cheated upon. That is the deal.

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RecordProducer

Yeah, you should put the other guy behind or you have no future together, But you should ask her about this yelling, why she is so upset with you. Honestly, I would be too so early in th relationship, but on the other hand, as WWIU said, she deserved it. You should help her put the anger toward you behind too.

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