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Male co-worker


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Hi! I'm new to this site, and it seems very interesting :) Well a have a question of my own, it's about a male co-worker. i'm almost 21 years old and I work in a grocery store, i've been there for about 4-5 months. Anyway, i've been having some feelings for a particular co-worker, i don't know him at all btw, but i see him often (so i suppose it's purely physical at this point). However he seems to be quite a bit older then me (or so he appears)...he looks to be about late 30's early 40's. I realize this seems to be quite a difference, however i've usually been attracted to older men anyway...Now considering this age difference i'm not quite sure how to even begin to approach this man. This may be a stupid question but can older men really be attracted to a much younger women? Or would they much prefer someone their own age? I'm not sure if i should even consider pursuing him for this reason. Before i even think of pursuing i'd really like to get to know him first, i just don't know how to approach him. I feel so childish but he really makes me very nervous. I've had very little contact w/ him, all that has happened is this: i was at my desk (i'm a cashier btw, he is not though) and he was coming back from his break, and he seemingly went a round' about way through the aisles (seemed unusual + unneccessary) and came through my desk and managed to mumble out a "hi", though i was making no eye contact towards him, i was happy and surprised by this but no big deal. Well, sometimes i catch him looking at me as i deal w/ customers and one time when i was free he just turned and stared at me square in the face until i turned away...:love: i'm very shy so i barely even look at him. I don't even show that i'm interested whatsoever. I realise this will get me knowhere though. Is it normal to be interested in someone and act that way (uninterested)? Anyway, the only other thing that i can remember is that i was bending over to help a customer and when i got up i noticed he had been walking right there behind me, his face was turned and he was smiling. Again not that big a deal. So as you can see i don't know him. I'm just not sure how to go about talking to him. He seems nice enough. My last relationship was not ended on a good note considering the guy i was dating was quite abusive, both physically and verbally. It's been quite some time since then so i'm a little skittish on the whole meeting men/dating thing. So my question is what can i do about this older man? How can i approach him? Thanks for reading, i tend to pay attention to the details, sorry i know it can be painful/tetious to read. Thanks for any advice or suggestions, feel free to be perfectly honest!

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I'm sure a man of that age would be attracted to you. He may feel you are to young for him to date but he would be flattered that you are interested. I think you would be better off in pursuing him as a friend than a romantic interest. 15 to 20 years is a huge gap especially when you are just 21.

 

It is normal for young girls to ignore the man they are interested in. They get shy and nervous around someone in which they are attracted. I would just speak to him when you pass and let your friendship develop.

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Thank u Yamaha for your honest and helpful reply! I think you're right, I guess pursing him as a friend would be best for now. I thought it was just me that ignored the person they're interested in. I mean why would anyone do that, it doesn't get them anywhere. It's the complete opposite reaction that I want to give, yet I ALWAYS manage to ignore him. Maybe I just think it's a safer way to deal with it...:confused: Do other people do this too? I mean not only young girls but guys too? Anyway i'll try to talk to him (if i can find any guts at all...), small talk to start (I mean he's said hi first, so instead of ignoring I can at least try that!).

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