angel583 Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Hi guys, I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now. We have had our ups and downs like most couples. When we got together then he had only split up from his previous girlfriend 2 weeks before. In saying this we had an amazing connection we both felt soo close to eachother and both had never been so happy ( this is not pressumption on my part he had told me of his feelings), however the ex of his ended up causing problems which made him slighltly withdraw from me and our relationship. We then went away to New York together for a week and had the best time i've ever had with someone but when we returned to the UK the problems started again. We ended being one of those on again off again couples which really started to get to me. I always try and do what is best for me as i have a little girl to think about who is 3. I decided today that i thought it was best that we stopped seeing eachother because everytime we broke up he would always text me telling me he missed me and wanted to see me and i would go round. We were always on and off because off his ex. she wanted to get back with him and after an unhappy 5 years it was not what he wanted but he still would not tell her about me. Today when i told him i didn't want to see hime anymore because i couldn't be upset about him and our situation any longer i then got what seemed to be a serious guilt trip. he msn'd me and told me that lots of bad things had happened today and that he really could have done without my email. The thing is that i try to talk to him about his problems all the time and he always clams up, he never used to but does now. He made me feel really bad about being honest and i didn't do it in an unfair way. I told him how much of a wonderful person he was and that i knew i was lucky to have even spent time with him. Clearly i am in love with this guy but he doesn't seem to be in the right place for a relationship at the mo and cause of this i decided to put an end to it for both our sakes but now i just feel horrible because he has made me feel so guilty. It is obvious to me that he doesn't want a proper relationship and in doing the right thing i feel like crap. Have i done the right thing???? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Off and on during a 6 month period of time? You've broken up repeatedly? Doesn't sound like a relationship I'd want to be involved in... So yes, I think you did the right thing. But I'm a fan of stability. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 he is not ready for a new relationship as he didnt have time to heal from his last disaster! Its been a year and a half since I split with my ex and I am just about ready to consider a relationship with the right guy! I think you have done the right thing! He needs to sort out what he wants and who with and until he tells his ex about you then I would consider the fact that he is not ready to be with you! Let him realise what he wants and he will let you know hon! Good luck, keep us informed! Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 On and off again, he won't tell the ex about you?? Kind of hokey. From everything you posted, you acted with maturity and did what was best, not only for you but also for him. Although he may not agree right now. He made you feel guilty... but honestly, you are doing what is best for the both of you. He isn't over his ex yet, he's still carrying a lot of baggage from her. He needs to get his head on straight and having you and the ex in the picture won't allow him to do that. And he does still have feelings for his ex, even if he does also have feelings for you. Otherwise the ex would not have so much control over him. It's pulling him in two directions. By ending it with him your allowing him to clean up his past so that he can refocuse on his future. Whether it be with you at a later time, or someone else isn't important right now. but he'll never be able to grow and overcome his current situation unless he makes a choice, and he seems unwilling to do so. I really think you did what was best for both of you. You need someone you can depend on, and he needs to focus on his own problems. You just took the more mature route and ended it cleanly rather than pretend the problems didn't exist and hope they went away. Link to post Share on other sites
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