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New dates falling too fast?


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Old 20th April 2006, 5:39 PM   #1
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New dates falling too fast?

Okay,

Just getting back into the dating world after being separated since last summer and with hubby for more than 23 years.

Why do guys seems to want to be so serious in such a quick manner?

I have made it perfectly clear that I will most likely never marry again, yet several guys I have seen recently seem to want to tell me that they would want to marry me in the long run. WTF????

I am just trying to enjoy myself and other peoples' company, and why do I get this? They say I would be a good "catch." SO WHAT!

Why do men do this when it is perfectly clear that this is not what I have in mind?
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Old 20th April 2006, 5:43 PM   #2
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with age comes baggage and time pressure. Maybe you've come accross men who are desperately trying to settle and not die alone? Maybe they feel they are getting too old to be able to carry on with a normal relationship?
I'm not suggesting you are old, just saying that baggage and social pressure might be their issues.
What were the men like? What were their history? What are their future goals? Where did you meet them?
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Old 20th April 2006, 5:46 PM   #3
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Being single when you're over 40 (or even over 30) can suck.

Enjoy your freedom for now. That is your right. And you have the right to change you mind after a year or two if marraige starts to sound appealing again.

We've also heard lots of complaints about men being "commitmentphobes," so many make it clear that we ARE interested in LTRs.

But since that's not where you're at right now, I'd suggest dating younger men, who tend to be more interested in having a good time and less interested in settling down ASAP.
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Old 20th April 2006, 8:19 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My_Other_I
with age comes baggage and time pressure. Maybe you've come accross men who are desperately trying to settle and not die alone? Maybe they feel they are getting too old to be able to carry on with a normal relationship?
I'm not suggesting you are old, just saying that baggage and social pressure might be their issues.
What were the men like? What were their history? What are their future goals? Where did you meet them?

First guy is amazingly attractive but sort of a player type of personality, so I'm not sure I would trust him for the long haul. Has almost no money. Knew him in high school years ago and bumped into him by accident in town a few months ago.

Second guy is coming off of a long marriage where he wasn't so happy. Been a dear friend for ten years. Has tons of money. Brilliant conversationalist. We have so much fun together but common interests for long term may not be there.

Third guy I have know for more than a long time - coming off of a long marriage too. More of a buddy to me, but super fun to talk to.
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Old 20th April 2006, 10:32 PM   #5
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Well, try to take it as a compliment that you are probably "All That" and men are quick to appreciate it!

Enjoy yourself and just set firm boundaries; if you don't want anything more than casual dating at this time in your life, be clear about it and don't budge.
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