People already in relationships??

[ELS_sn777]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a college student and, so far, have been pretty busy

and haven't had much experience with girls (I'm pretty

disgusted at the idea of randomly going to parties and

bagging girls just for one-night stands). However, the

few times that I have asked a few girls out on campus,

they already had BF's, and a couple of them seemed really

offended at my asking them out--like I'm supposed to

already know that they're already taken.

 

Have many of you run into situations like this? Is the

best way to find out still just asking a girl out directly,

or is it better to do "research" by asking different other

people that may know this about her.

 

Actually, this kind of thing pisses me off. When I was a

first-semester freshman, a lot of girls were still going steady

w/ BF's from high school, and by spring semester, some of

them had already found new boyfriends. It seems that

finding that transient window of time when she's free is just

a matter of blind luck.

[Lucasarts]

not a matter of blind luck friend, its a matter of just trying to make friends with as many college girls as possible in hopes that when one breaks up and you like her...well thats the time to swoop in for the kill.

[ELS_sn777]

Well, Lucas, I guess I've been pretty ignorant all these years. I'm gonna be in the second sem of my junior year, and I'm 20 yrs old, but my social life consists of a few male friends (~10) and like 2 female friends (with neither of which I'm interested in having a relationship). And I usually only hang out

with them on weekends (SOME weekends).

 

How do you (responses from anyone else viewing are welcome) think

it would be received if suddenly I started being "more social" and

hanging out around people that I've known before but with whom I

didn't make much contact? Would they welcome me as a positively

changed person, or would they just avoid me and think I'm some sort

of loser w/ a strange change in character? I know that everyone is

different and opinions about me will differ, but there has to be an "average" instinctive human response to a person that would have such a

sudden change in behavior. I'm asking about that average.

 

The thing about my situation is that I've really been focusing on my

schoolwork and competitive sport (which, by the way is a singles

racquet sport--not much social contact there) and other extracurriculars

up until now. I will continue to work hard at these, but I also want to

start developing a halfway decent social life--I can feel the lack thereof

starting to take a toll on me, with my getting more jumpy and pissed off

than I used to be.

 

Thanks

[Lucasarts]

hmmm

 

well at least you have some friends to help you out here

 

as long as you're an outgoing person, friendly, knows how to dish some sh*t on people as well as take some, be good natured and keep a conversation up i think many ppl will welcome your new behavior as a good one. plus this will get you more guys and girls.

 

a good way to start, you say you're focused on your school work right? are there any girls in the class? now dont be thinking you have to get with the hot ones in it, just simply try to be friends with those you feel would be the most comfortable to be talking to.

 

oh and make an effort to hang out with your two female friends more, they'll be a good way to help interact and be more at ease with girls.

 

the average response for someone who is reclusive to be all of a sudden outgoing and social depends on how this "changed" person's new behavior is like. If it's a behavior thats arrogant or extremely annoying, then obviously no one is going to like you. and also, it depends on the crowd a lil bit as well. i guess if you really want to become social its all about adapting to the people you're socializing with.