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She's still talking to her ex, and havent broken up with her bf...i need advice


Mydish1

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I know this girl digs me a lot and is honest with me, but somehow a little part of me feels like im being used.

 

She's going out with me behind her bf's back (i think theyre on some kind of break). and i was told she barely or not at all talks to the ex since seeing me.

So yes there's an ex and a bf and me.

 

She just sent me the pic we took together. she ended up telling me she sent the pic to her ex to see too...apparently he said we look good together, but she didnt tell him we were dating, so he thinks we're just friends.

And that means theyre still talking regularly.

 

Anyway that really got me in a bad mood and i got offline.

 

I agreed to give her time to break it off with both of them (since she was honest to tell me about them in the first place)....but i want it to go my way or the highway right now...i dont want to deal with this crap and get my emotions zapped before its too late.

 

I feel like im going to eventually begin to resent her if i dont give her an ultimatum...

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Are you dating a stripper ?.......LOL.

 

:laugh:;)

 

Yeah cause if so dude, it's worth it. Just keep playing the game. Otherwise, why don't YOU keep her on the side while you pursue some other hotties. You'll only get as much respect as you think you deserve.

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sounds like you're just asking for trouble and heartache! She has a bf, and she's seeing you behind his back. Yet, you're sure she's being honest with you. Did I miss something? If she had high interest in you, not to mention some integrity, she would quickly dismiss her bf and her ex. I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. That would just make you look uptight and insecure. I wouldn't bring up the bf or the ex with her either. I suppose you could go ahead and date her, but I'd be dating lots of other people too, until she gives you some indication that she wants to be exclusive with you.

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Hi Mydish,

 

Your situation sounds similar to my recent one:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t77181/

 

I'd been struggling with the fact that his ex was somehow still in the picture, even though he swore they were done. It really comes down to setting your boundaries.

 

What you said:

"I agreed to give her time to break it off with both of them (since she was honest to tell me about them in the first place)....but i want it to go my way or the highway right now...i dont want to deal with this crap and get my emotions zapped before its too late. I feel like im going to eventually begin to resent her if i dont give her an ultimatum..."

 

This was almost the same exact line of thinking I had. Unless you're the sharing kind, and it sounds like you aren't, this girl has to make a choice -- or she's just going to keep jerking you around. In the meantime, you might want to back off, way off, until she's completely unencumbered. Stringing you along this way, even if she were halfway honest about it, is totally unfair to both you and the other guy.

 

And the fact that she kept you "hidden" is a bad sign. You deserve to be with someone who's happy and proud to be with you. It sounds like she might be trying to re-connect with her ex and is keeping you in her backpocket in case things don't work out between the two of them. In any case, be cautious. Keep her in your sights if you're still very interested, but try not to get too attached until it's settled in your favor.

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sounds like you're just asking for trouble and heartache! She has a bf, and she's seeing you behind his back. Yet, you're sure she's being honest with you. Did I miss something? If she had high interest in you, not to mention some integrity, she would quickly dismiss her bf and her ex. I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. That would just make you look uptight and insecure. I wouldn't bring up the bf or the ex with her either. I suppose you could go ahead and date her, but I'd be dating lots of other people too, until she gives you some indication that she wants to be exclusive with you.

 

yea yesterday i did some thinking. Not Cool to lose my cool over this. I see 3 options right now - walk away, talk it over, or date other women in the meantime. I've chosen to date other women in the meantime (or try to).

 

And the fact that she kept you "hidden" is a bad sign. You deserve to be with someone who's happy and proud to be with you. It sounds like she might be trying to re-connect with her ex and is keeping you in her backpocket in case things don't work out between the two of them. In any case, be cautious. Keep her in your sights if you're still very interested, but try not to get too attached until it's settled in your favor.

 

yes it is a bad sign, im her dirty little secret. The first time she met me i was told that i looked like someone she knew. And when she was honest that day, she said me and her ex are similar in some ways, however she claims that the reason she's dating me isnt because i remind her of the ex.

Right now i am emotionally detached, cause she contacts me everyday. It's good now, i maintain power over us, cause she puts me on a pedestal. But who knows how i'd feel (or how she'd feel) if i cut contact.

 

Sometimes i think to myself it would be a waste not to pursue a LTR cause we have so much in common and i know what makes her tick. I shall see how this progresses

 

Although the thing that boggles me about women is they're confusing themselves with emotions. They cant separate past from present, fantasy from reality...

Such indecisive creatures...

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