GuySimple Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I meet a woman a few weeks ago and we really hit it off. Great conversation lots of the same interest…except one very large one…she has very little experience in the whole intimacy/sex area. She was married for several years and has said that sex was nonexistent in her relationship. She said that her husband was just not that interested and she never knew what she was missing. She is 40 by the way. I have come from my own marriage relationship where several times a week was the norm. And exploration was a regular part of my relationship. When we talk about it I can tell she is curious, but very nervous about exploring that part of her. I have to say though I am not totally comfortable with being the coach in this situation. I don’t mind providing some enhancement to the whole physical side by suggesting stuff, but we are starting from ground zero here and that is a big responsibility in my book. I have told her that a physical relationship is very important for me at least sometime down the road when she is ready etc. etc. In other words I am not interested in a serious long-term relationship without a physical component. Up until this point I have been trying to determine whether the reason she didn’t have a physically intimate relationship was because of the marriage she was in or if she indeed does not simply like sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 If she was married, she's not a virgin. whether the reason she didn’t have a physically intimate relationship was because of the marriage she was in or if she indeed does not simply like sex. So ask her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I'm not sure if you meant inexperienced or virgin as in she hasn't had a penis inside her...I guess it's possible she was married and never had that physical contact that way...But it is unusual. I think talking to her and letting her know how you feel is good. Maybe talking about it will relax her and who knows, maybe she just has hang ups about it or had some bad experiences that put her off. Link to post Share on other sites
CoolAunt Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 She said that her husband was just not that interested and she never knew what she was missing. If she did, indeed, say, "I never knew what I was missing," then she's felt that she's been missing something. When we talk about it I can tell she is curious, but very nervous about exploring that part of her. Her curiosity about sex is a good sign. And it's only normal that she'd be nervous. She's just learning about her sexuality at 40. Wouldn't you be nervous? I would. I'd follow the advice of Outcast and WWIU and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and let her tell you how she feels, even if you have to ask her. Keep in mind that she's nervous and probably self conscious about being inexperienced, which may mean several small discussions rather than one bigun'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuySimple Posted December 3, 2005 Author Share Posted December 3, 2005 Good advice folks, as usual. I should clarify that the "40 year old virgin" was simply a cliché. She has had sex, in fact she has a couple of kids. Very, very inexperienced is probably the better term. The kids were probably the only two times according to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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