UTsg2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Hey Guys... Well, I'm not a frequent poster on here by any means, HOWEVER, this site helped me IMMENSELY backin May when my girl of 2.5 years broke up with me literally out of nowhere. I was crushed, I thought I'd never go on, etc. Somebody on this board told me it was a blessing in disguise and something good was sure to come out of it, I just had no idea when to expect it or what to expect. Well, it came - it came on October 6th (yeah, 3 weeks ago). Basically, here's the run-down: I'm a college student, work two jobs, etc, not alot of time to go out clubbing to meet people or anything of the sort. So my roommate, being obsessed with "myspace" at the time gets me to make a profile. Ok, I figure, I'll broadcast some information and pictures to the world what the hell. About a week later, I get a random message from this girl, we will call her Erin for privacy's sake. The message? "Hey Hottie! How u doin?". Well, that blindsided me and we got to talking on the site, then on Aim, and eventually on the phone. As a disclaimer I would like to add that I am in a "myspace" network of people that just go to my University (and some old friends from high school), and "Erin" just so happens to go to my school - however, she is a commuter and I live on campus. It also just so happens that we got out of similar length relationships right around the same time. So, we really hit it off on the phone and such and before long I just asked her out on a date. I drove out to her house, picked her up, we had a great time, etc etc. We hung out again the next day even. During the first date there was hand holding, hugging, and the next day much of the same. So the third date comes along and I figure well, I'm the man I've gotta make the move or she will feel unattractive or something - plus I'm very attracted to her! So when I picked her up from her house and we stopped at a stop light (with nobody around), I just calmly leaned over and gently touched her face to turn it toward mine to give her a little kiss. SHE FLIPPED. She was like "NO, NO!" Now, seeing the absolute shock on my face about this (I mean her body language and all other behavior point to attraction toward me), she proceeds to explain that it is nothing against me and that she just moves VERY slowly and takes a while to get comfortable around people in that way. Since then, there hasn't been any hand holding because i dont want to make her uncomfortable, but theres been plenty of hugging and plenty more dates. I've asked her sister in private what the deal is, and apparently she has dated a large number of a**h***s and, according to her sister, has NO self esteem. Her sister tells me to be patient and be there for her, she will come around, come out of her shell, etc, and not to worry because she IS into me. So, here I am, three weeks later, dazed and confused. I've never had this happen to me before and I am just wondering what you guys have to say about this. And I whole heartedly appreciate you reading this somewhat long post. I am just going nuts over this situation! I mean, just tonight we were cuddling in her bed, so I get up to leave and I get my customary hug (definitely not a friend-type hug, they are long ones). HELP!!!! Is this normal? Are some girls this slow to warm up? Ladies, input from you would be great!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Three weeks is not that long a time. She, like lots of ladies I've known, has realized that she's made mistakes by getting physically involved too soon. Bide your time a while longer and one of these days she'll look up from a hug and want to be kissed. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 She wants to take it slow and she means that. You may not want to take it slow but thats what is presenting itself right now so its what you have to deal with... She does not want to get hurt. You can respect that or move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UTsg2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 i do not mind taking it slow but i just cannot fathom her being attracted to me without wanting some sort of physical contact. is that a completely male point of view? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 You mean you wonder when she will progress to more intimate gestures ? The answer to that is : When she is ready. Link to post Share on other sites
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