humph.. Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 When you're dating someone, if they cancel a date would you expect an explaination?? I ask, because a guy im seeing cancelled a date 20 minutes after asking me to hang out yesterday...he SMS MESSAGES ME saying "somethings come up, i cant hang out this afternoon, ill explain later, sorry." And then no phone call no message, NOTHING to explain what happened. I then find out (today) after i asked him, that his friends came over. Would it have killed him to tell me this yesterday in a quick msg or phone call? Im so angry over this...he would expect nothing but a fully apology and re-scheduling of the date, as well as an explaination from me, so why shouldnt i get anything les??? Am i right to be pi$$ed off?? Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 yes! you are right to be pissed off, especially as he did not eventually explain. if his friends came over, and he made them a priority over you, without adequate consideration for your feelings, then he is putting some distance between you. let him know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author humph.. Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 Oh i did tell him..and you know what he said "you better lose the bull$hit attitude, or you can just stop talking to me". !!!!!!!!!!!! Pr#ck!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 When you're dating someone, if they cancel a date would you expect an explaination?? Generally, no, but it depends on the situation. Im so angry over this... Oh fercryinoutloud. Lighten up. You're reading WAY too much into this. So he wanted to hang with a friend for a while. Big deal. Do you expect him to make you the centre of his entire universe and ignore everyone else in his life? Am i right to be pi$$ed off?? You can be as pissed off as you want, but that will only drive him further away. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Slubber's right. No point in stressing out about it. I had a "textual" relationship with a guy several months back. I could count the number of times we actually met up on the fingers of one hand. After the third date, he started texting lots of suggestive messages but not actually suggesting we meet up. This went on for a couple of weeks. Eventually I suggested a coffee and he agreed....then cancelled at very the last minute with a very vague explanation. I didn't respond, so about a week later he started texting again. Very apologetic and asking if I wanted to meet up for a drink. I said I'd meet him for lunch during the week (I wasn't going to bother dressing up for a date for someone who'd already cancelled on me). He was oh so enthusiastic about lunch - then again cancelled about 1 hour beforehand. Again I didn't respond. A few weeks later....another text. Quelle surprise. This time I didn't answer at all. I know commitment phobia is a buzzword, but some people take it just a step too far If I were you I wouldn't bother getting wound up about it. I'd just give him one more chance (if he asks for one, that is) then score him off your dance card if he uses that chance to muck you about again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author humph.. Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 The reason i am so mad about this is because when we first met he told me one of his totally biggest pet hates is people who cancel dates or who say no to a date but dont offer a different time/day and just leave him hanging. And then he turns around and does this?? Im sorry, but i think him messaging me and telling me he'll "explain later" and then reluctantly tells me his friends came over when i ask him what his reason was 24 hrs later..(i ASKED, he didnt tell)...and then asks me what im doing that night (im a booty call to this guy basically...)...i think i have every right to be upset with him, especially when he throws tantrums over much less serious stuff. It's just a common courtesy thing to actually call someone and say sorry and give a reason. I would do it for him, id expect the same decency back. Link to post Share on other sites
europimp Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 You shouldn't be fuming and furious, but you should be ticked off. People who don't live up to their word instantly lose a lot of respect with me. I'm always where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there, and if I can't make it I'll explain. Bring this up with him in a NICE way though, don't rip his head off. Just say that you expect him to tell you what happened, especially if he says he will tell you. There's no reason for him not to tell you. But don't become really clingy, that's one thing that'd drive him away. Just give him space occasionally, take some space for yourself occasionally, but expect him to live up to his word. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Oh i did tell him..and you know what he said "you better lose the bull$hit attitude, or you can just stop talking to me". A quality fellow would not put up with this. If he's a good man, you've lost him. If you haven't lost him, he's not a good man. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Oh i did tell him..and you know what he said "you better lose the bull$hit attitude, or you can just stop talking to me". !!!!!!!!!!!! Pr#ck!!!!! I hope you stopped talking to him as soon as he said that. Even if you were unreasonable in the way you approached him, his "take it or leave it - i couldn't give a f*ck" attitude should be a total deal-breaker. It may be just a misunderstanding but you shouldn't be fighting this early. Ew, definitely stop taking his calls and making any. And do NOT be his booty call girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author humph.. Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 I am so angry at him..he refuses to apologise and keeps trying to somehow find something wrong with what ive done or said and blame me! Ive told him that his attitude stinks and that he has way too much pride, that basically the word sorry is not in his vocabulary and that wasnt good enough for me. Suffice to say, i've told him it's over. It wasnt just this incident, he has acted like a selfish little kid for the last 2 weeks and ive had enough. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 a narcissitic lil man perhaps? Plenty more fish in the sea Link to post Share on other sites
flamingjune Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 If he's been consistently inconsiderate -- canceling on short notice, lying about his reasons or even just lying -- it doesn't sound like a good relationship. And if you're his girlfriend, ditching you for his buddies when he's already made plans with you is not cool. He didn't seem interested in working things out with you and didn't even apologize for his rude behavior. You did the right thing by dumping him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author humph.. Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Thanks for the advice everyone. He has stuck his heels in and even said "i dont need to explain myself to you"....RUDE....! Im glad i ditched this moron earlier rather than later! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Sorry, humph. I misunderstood one of your posts (didn't read it clearly enough). Oh i did tell him..and you know what he said "you better lose the bull$hit attitude, or you can just stop talking to me". When I first read this I thought you were the one who told him to lose the attitude. I now see that I misunderstood, hence my reply. My apologies. You were right to lose the dude. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperMonk Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Hmm, if I were to go on a date with a girl that I considered hot and available, I'd make plans and if my friends were gonna go to the strip club that day... I would make space for the girl. And what he did basically was that it was his way of showing less interest in you. Don't feel bad about it, A better person will come along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author humph.. Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 Oh im not upset, we were casually dating for a few months, but he has shown himself to be a big baby, and i just dont have any time for that! Im not anyones doormat! Link to post Share on other sites
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