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BF wants me to hide my car from jealous ex


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Old 13th September 2005, 2:17 PM   #1
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Angry BF wants me to hide my car from jealous ex

For those who read my other posts i finally broke up with the crying guy about two months ago. I have just started seeing this other guy one week ago. We have been friends for about 5 months and things just started to develope on their own. we became basically best friends really quickly. And just decided to start dating. We both came from nasty marriages that lead to divorces. this past week has been awesome. neither one of us have felt this comfortable in a relationship for a very long time. he met my mom already, ditched his buddies last night because i didnt have a sitter for my kids and came over to have dinner and watch the football game with me. he even cooked the steaks while i did the side dishes. Anyway...it has been awesome. i walk him out to his truck to say goodbye and we sit out there for 2 hours everytime. the longest goodbyes i have ever had. As with everything there is a but....

His exwife wants him back now. He doesnt want to get back with her and has told her this. I know he is not lying. to keep the peace he would rather me park my car in his garage when i am over there so she doesnt start her jealousy routine again...as twice before already. I am very very uncomfortable with the fact that i have to hide my car. He has children and he will have them this weekend. She doesnt want me over there when the kids are there. I am a bartender and i am stopping by his house at 2:30 am and leaving at 4 am. hours before the children wake up. I already met them anyway when we were just friends. so im not a stranger. my issue is this...

I want to tell him that its his house, his life, his night with his children...its none of her business whether i am there or not. and i am not willing to put my car in the garage. is this wrong of me to be against this?
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Old 13th September 2005, 5:35 PM   #2
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i think you may be over reacting just a little bit. i don't think he wants you to park in the garage because he is ashamed of you or because he is not his own man or anything. he just wants to make his life a little easier. it may seem like a trivial thing to you but just by parking in the garage you may be saving him a world of headaches thus making your relationship a little smoother. a jealous woman's scorn is only surpassed by a jealous woman with kids' scorn. i don't know if she is psycho or anything but she can make it extremely hard for him to see his children. and as nice of a person as you may be, i'm sure he does not want to put anybody between him and his children. not to mention that she could be the type to damage your vehicle.

so you are not wrong to feel a little discomfort. however, IMO it is not that big of a issue to make a big deal about it. i would just suck it up and work with him on this one. but the choice is yours...
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Old 13th September 2005, 5:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noname
i think you may be over reacting just a little bit.
I was thinking the same thing. If it makes everyones life easier in the short term then whats the big deal about putting your car in the garage?At least it means she can't slash your tires.
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Old 13th September 2005, 5:59 PM   #4
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i know u two are right. I guess i am so frustrated with dealing with exs right now. His ex wife is hating me, my exhusbands new live in girlfriend told my two children she didnt like me, the guy i broke up with is still on my case and so are his friends. I wish I knew this about my current BF before it just got sprung on me. Ive known him 5 months and we were close but he never said anything to me about it. I probably shouldnt let him know it is bothering me but i will go along with it then?
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Old 13th September 2005, 6:29 PM   #5
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Don't tell him

You'll just give him anxiety, make him feel bad & he'll probably think that the ex-wife is getting the upper hand.
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Old 13th September 2005, 10:24 PM   #6
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roll with it a while. be discreet. enjoy each other. if it starts to feel like you are compromising some kind of deep rooted principles, then you can start to get worried...

btw. you did know about it before hand. you know that people have ex's and you know how they can be. relax, be happy, and enjoy what you have...

NEVER let your frustration with a previous relationship interfere with a new relationship. it is like being run ragged from your first child and then taking it out on your newborn. bad news. always...

sure. you can let him know about it, but only enough to express to him that you do not want to play games. park your car in the garage, but let him know that if you get serious, then you shouldn't have to hide. that will let you get your concerns off your chest but you won't make any serious waves.

he never let you know about it because... 1) you have known each other for only five months... 2) you have been dating for just a week (it seems a little pre-mature that you refer to him as your BF in such a short time, but that may just be me, so i willl shut up about that...)

play it cool for a little while and i am sure that you will reap more positive benefits than you would should you insist to park on the street...
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