AmberAriesMom Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 I've been reading on here some male attitudes regarding how women want to be supported while men are expected to earn the cash and how they resent it. So I did some research and found that a lot of men nowadays want a sugar momma who brings in the cash and they'll put up with and say anything they need to in order to get a woman with a great paying job so they can stay home. As I have also found that a lot of women will put up with and say whatever they need to in order to stay at home and not have to work, I'm curious as to how you all feel about being supported or supporting your spouse. Please don't turn this into a 'it takes two incomes' thing. I'm just curious about how people feel about being totally supported. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 No problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 How about being totally supporting? And what is your gender? I can't edit my OP to include these other two questions, but could posters please address them as well as the one in my OP? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 I'm male - I wouldn't mind being fully supported & I wouldn't mind supporting someone else either. There would be all sorts of other issues involved, primarily is it economically viable? That would be the biggest hurdle. After that it would depend on the attitudes of the persons involved & the stability of their relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Me thinks... 1. Me support her => No problem. No resentment. Zip. Ziltch. 2. She supports me => I feel like a gigolo Link to post Share on other sites
Jtizzle Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 ima female and to have a man fully support me is out of the question.. i would feel like i owe him something..or if we got in a fight he would bring that up and well thats not cool..but if i was to be supported i would have a lil side job so that i could save my money for a business or a place of my own if things went sour. but most likely i wouldnt a man to fully support me, because you never know when he might flip the script and i be out on my a**... now far as me supporting my man..it all depends on the situation..If he's my husband and he doesnt have kids out of our marriage, then no problem there, if my money is coming in right..but if he has kids out of our marriage like from previous marriages or so, and he has to pay child support, well i wouldnt "include" that in my fully supporting him, he'd be on his own with that one. I aint payin for nobody kids but my "OWN". Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 If the people are honest about their goal to be supported, then fine. If they lie to the provider, then they are bad seeds. I've no problem dating/dumping bad seeds. There was once an over worked woman in my life, I really would have supported her (almost 100%) to make her life better. She wouldn't hear of it. I wouldn't mind being supported by a rich woman. I'd be proud and sheepish at same time. As long as she didn't want to control me. I'd feel too guilty at being supported by an unwealthy lady. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 One of the worst things that anyone can do to themselves is to depend on someone else financially or emotionally. However I find it natural that a woman is supported by a man while the other way round is undesirable in my book. I would never support a man. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 However I find it natural that a woman is supported by a man while the other way round is undesirable in my book. I would never support a man. thank god there are still some traditional-minded women around Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 See if I'm getting this right..... Male = if a nurturing sort would actually enjoy supporting a life with that person he loves to nurture. Male = if not a nurturing sort, probably wouldn't get married in the first place. And if he did, it would be a financial partnership type thing and probably a chores sharing/child raising sharing thing as well. Female = if a nurturing sort would actually enjoy supporting a life wht that person she loves to nurture. Female = if not a nurturing sort, probably wouldn't get married in the first place. And if she did, it would be a financial partnership type thing and probably a chores sharing/child raising sharing thing as well. I think we're missing the male and female types who actually want to be cared for in a subordinate role. I wonder if there is such a thing?....not including users of course! LOL My personal belief is that both parties should be able to work at a decent living in case something happens to the one half. But I think once kids come along the man should bring home the bread unless problems arise that require the woman to take a job. I don't believe a couple should base their life style on two incomes....one and a half maybe so the woman can only have to work part time, for the sake of the kids, but if possible only one. I also think both parties should work somewhere until kids come along, or else the one at home will get bored, lazy and fat, not to mention out of touch with reality as far as what 'working a full time day job you probably hate' actually feels like and will not be appreciative or sympathetic to the one who is working. I wouldn't mind being supported or supporting as long as I was not being taken for granted either way. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 thank god there are still some traditional-minded women around Thank god, there are still traditional-minded men out there! Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 AmberAriesMom, you said that once kids come into the Picture that the women should stay home with maybe a part time job. Why? Lets say you married someone who is in a career that earns far less then what you as a woman earns. Should a woman who is an executive earning $75,000 + a year married to a man who is a School Teacher earning $30,000 a year give up her position an income to stay home with the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 4, 2005 Author Share Posted September 4, 2005 AmberAriesMom, you said that once kids come into the Picture that the women should stay home with maybe a part time job. Why? Lets say you married someone who is in a career that earns far less then what you as a woman earns. Should a woman who is an executive earning $75,000 + a year married to a man who is a School Teacher earning $30,000 a year give up her position an income to stay home with the kids? That depends on if you've set your standard of living above 30K. LOL I actually gave up a 50K a year job back in the 80's to stay home with my kid. He was 3 by the time we figured out how to live comfortably on one income. My husband also made 50someK a year at the time. He furthered his education and got promoted etc etc. We had another kid. A mom raising kids is just that important to me and my husband. But that's just us. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 Should a woman who is an executive earning $75,000 + a year married to a man who is a School Teacher earning $30,000 a year give up her position an income to stay home with the kids? No. She shouldn't marry him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 4, 2005 Author Share Posted September 4, 2005 New question.....should the person who is expecting to be supported ask the supporter to marry them...or even ask about committment? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 New question.....should the person who is expecting to be supported ask the supporter to marry them...or even ask about committment? That's a very good question. If a pizza-delivery guy is dating a famous pop star (like Britney Spears), should he be the one to propose to her? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 The question is, of course, entirely subjective, New question.....should the person who is expecting to be supported ask the supporter to marry them...or even ask about committment? but why not? Link to post Share on other sites
nosybear819 Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 When I was younger I lived with my boyfriend for 3 years I had just gotten laid off from work and he said don't worry there's no rush for you to find a job I'll take care of you. I wanted to work but he wanted a "traditional relationship"..well let me tell you I didn't like it at all. I felt like I wasn't my own person. I mean he provided me with everything I needed love, food, shelter, money..everything. But of course that gave him all the "power" It was almost like I was always asking permission of him..can I have this? can I do that? blah blah blah...3 years of that almost drove me crazy. Most of my friends would say things like "wow you got a good man I wish my man would take care of me like that" But in the end it felt like it just gave him a big power trip. I couldn't take it anymore I went out and found myself a job so that I could be my own person. Apparently that lifestyle isn't for everyone. I don't think I could deal with a situation like that again- but I guess you live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 4, 2005 Author Share Posted September 4, 2005 That's a very good question. If a pizza-delivery guy is dating a famous pop star (like Britney Spears), should he be the one to propose to her? Yep! That's my question! Link to post Share on other sites
animo Posted September 4, 2005 Share Posted September 4, 2005 There is no way i could ever let myself be supported by someone... I'd feel guilty somehow, not like a man at all... On the other hand, i would have no problem with supporting my wife/long term gf. I guess i'm a bit old fashion when it comes to that, which does not mean that i expect to support my future spouse Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I could never let a man support me, nor do I expect to support a man! I'm a grown ass woman, and I expect whomever I'm with to be grown ass as well. Plus -> I've already partially supported an ex-bf, and it left the most awful sour taste in my mouth. NEVER AGAIN! K. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I'm a grown ass woman, and I expect whomever I'm with to be grown ass as well Does that mean your ass is really grown up and large or what ? Is it a smart ass ? Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Female/30 It depends on the people. I've supported a bf before and only got left with debt. But I'm aware I'm now earning more than my current partner. We've already discussed that children may mean financially I have to continue to work and he stay home and be supported or some other plan. So what? I know he wouldn't take advantage. I'm not sure I would want to be fully supported by a bf. There's satisfaction in saying, "I earnt that myself with my own hard work!!". There's no satisfaction in just holding out your hand and getting what you asked for. Link to post Share on other sites
animo Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Well...there is a difference Littlekitty. The way i see it is something like this. In traditional marriages, peoples assets become one after their union. So let's say the man works a full time job, and the woman takes care of work around the house and the kids then i would consider them to have a mutual income. It doesn't matter where the money comes from, they both earn it. Ofcourse, stuff like that is extreemly risky in todays world hehe, so it becomes a bit more complicated. This kind of relationship needs 100% trust because you are both dependant on eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Great point and well made!! I have to conceed that in a trusting and strong marriage I would agree that our income is indeed 'ours'. I guess I was looking at the issue from my current stance point of bf/gf, which is obviously different. When I'm running ragged around the house after 4 kids and he hands me a pressy, I'll have earnt it for sure!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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