Unsure as to the "meaning" of a question, girl advice needed

[060798]

Not gonna bull**** anyone, I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend, so I'm "new" to this sorta stuff....

Anyhow, a friend of mine introduced me to this chick who's 4 years younger than him (he's 20, she's 16, i'm 17). Anyhow, after chatting online/on the phone for a little bit, we decide to hang out the next day. We drove around for like an hour talking, but because of a slight family "emergency" (mom had to go to work the next day, they had plans to spend that day together since she just got back from a trip, so they wanted to go out that night). No problem, we had a good time and decided to hang out again the next day (Today). Picked her up after work, and since her mother told her to be home by 10, and i got out of work at 7, we drove around for a while, talked, went to a park and talked some more, etc. etc., both had a great time. She definatly likes me, but one of the things that she asked me was what I would think if she were to date the guy who introduced us...... She said that it probably wouldnt happen, but just what would I think..... I basicly told her that we both know different "parts" of him or whatever (She knows him from highschool or something, I know him from car related stuff), and that she is the only one who could make that sort of judgement or whatever. Anyhow, I'm unsure as to the meaning of this....... I don't think that he would "steal" her from me or whatever, and I don't honestly think that she would date him (mostly cause of the age difference), but by her saying this is it supposed to "hint" that she doesnt want to be more than friends or something? or what does it mean? How does one find out their "status" in a relationship? Any advice for me? Cheezy, I know, but this chick is awsome and I think it would work out pretty good between us........ a lot of differences, a lot of similarities, we get along great, have mostly the same views on stuff, etc.,

Thanks

[Sal Paradise]

Sounds like she is into him to me.

[kitkat826]

I agree with Sal, unless she is the type to mention that type of stuff in order to elicit a response...meaning, more or less testing you to see where you stand/what your intentions with you are. But if she made it sound like a serious question and not completely joking/coy, then I would be very weary of her, regardless of how well you two seem to get along. I personally know its possible to get along very well with people without actually having a serious interest in them.

[060798]

well she's certainly had the oppertunity to, but hasnt.......so i dunno, i'll just ask her next time i guess (as to the status of our relationship/where its going)

Meh...

[johnnyboy4ever]

As I see it, there is 2 possibilities here.

 

A - She likes the guy. She asked you cuz she eventually wants to get out of you "what does he think of me?" This would mean that you need to make an impression on her, quick, before she does go after the other guy. HOWEVER, the fact that your friend introduced you to her, most likely means that he doesn't dig her. So, you should not bother with him. You should have countered her question (if you believed this to be the right situation) with either a joking "well, what if I went out with her", pointing some random girl out within view, and laughed about it.

 

B - She was testing you. If she knows that you have had no prior relationships, she may be testing your confidence. Girls do this quite often (my so-called g/f at the moment [read my post] did this to me within our first few hours of talking) to check for that "appealing" quality of you. By testing your confidence, a girl can find out how cocky you are, how loyal you will be, whether or not you'd stick up for her, or even fight for her. If this seemed to be the case, sometimes its a good time to make your first move right there (different depending on the moment). If i seriously liked her, I would have put my hand on her's and asked something to the effect of, "I had hoped we could go on a date before you decide that."

 

I believe she was testing you. If she worded it in that maner, out of the blue, I think she was just trying to find out more about you. When you responded that "she is the only one who could make that sort of judgement or whatever", thats when she said that it probably wouldnt happen right? If that is the case, she was definately just testing you. You should call her right away, and set up another meeting and confess that when she metioned dating the other guy, that you didnt know what to say, and havent been able to stop thinking about her, worrying that something like that could happen. By responding the way you did, you agreed that it "could happen". She was looking for a "I will not let that happen."

[DeaconFrost]

johnnyboy has definately laid out the options for you, although I respectfully have to disagree.

 

IMHO, I think she might be a bit too young to have any sense to test him on his confidence or his abilities as a mate. She's just a child and I find it hard to believe that she has had enough experience to set him up like this. If anything, I'd said that her comment, "it probably would never happen" is a sign of her insecurity as a young female. I think she's trying to get the inside scoop on your buddy and is fishing for information regarding his feelings towards her.

 

Tell you what my friend. I say you take her out, do a little planning to make it fun and interesting (as in out-of-the-ordinary) and tell her that your the one interested in her. Hit her right between the eyes with your invitation. If she doesn't reciprocate then jump in your car and leave her! (I'm totally just kidding )

 

Since your 17, now's a good time to learn a lesson on your way to adulthood....woman are finicky as hell. It's best to be straight-forward (if only for your sake) and tell them what's on your mind. The less pressure, uncertainty, and drama that you have to deal with, the better.

 

Good luck dude!

[Cecelius]

I think Johnny has it right -- I agree that she may not be doing it intentionally, but girl shyt tests are intuitive.

 

You will get farther with her by NOT caring what her plans are for this guy. Ask her out, do you best stuff, and if she's into him, move onto another girl. But do not dwell on it.

[060798]

Thanks guys

 

I talked with a female friend at work today, (Same age as her, 16), and she too said that it was almost definatly just to find out more about what kind of relationships I like......if I'm the type of guy that would date 2 or 3 women at once, or if I'd just be in to one girl and thats it. I called this chick today and made plans to go up to the beach on Wednesday, so I figure thats a helluva good "third impression", especially if I take her somewhere nice to eat afterwards and stuff, should be pretty good. Before dropping her off that same night I think I showed my interest at least a little bit....told her I really enjoyed that night and that I love spending time with her and talking with her (Also told her that she has the most beautiful eyes and because of that, it might not be the best idea for us to drive around for extended periods of time in unfamiliar places because I pay more attention to her than traffic/ the road, she got a kick outa that, and said she loved spending time with me and that she definatly wanted to do it again)

I guess I was just nervous, because I'm good friends with the other guy and would probably feel a little wierd (To say the least) if anything ever did happen between them......

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to Wednesday for sure, trying to plan things out so its an incredible time for her (and me I guess, but honestly i'm not a huge beach person, but i know she is so heh)

Thanks for the advice