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Your boyfriend looking at other girls?


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Old 6th August 2005, 12:12 PM   #1
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Your boyfriend looking at other girls?

I understand its human nature to look, and thats fine. I cant and wouldnt even if I could stop him from looking at other girls..

But, my boyfriend and I have had this screaming match like twice about it now, and I just feel like the situation is not getting solved.

When we are passing by a female in the mall, walmart, etc...Its just a look, you know, to see what she looks like and then his attention is back to me, or back to what he was doing..BUT, if we were in the bank like in the lobby, or we were at a friends house, something more personal and less public with friends around or whatnot, his looks turn into everytime he looks in that persons direction he has to look at her.

Its like his looks become more of stares, or gawking. Its really annoying and I do feel a little threatned by it. It would be the same thing if he called some other girl baby (which he didnt) Its my name, not some other girls..So when he looks at another female the same way he checks out me I get offended because those are MY looks..

And that stupid saying that "it doesnt matter who you look at, or what you do cause at the end of the night I know who you going home with--ME"

Yeah thats all fine and dandy, but it does matter to me, and no I know he would never cheat on me physicaly, but when he looks at girls the same way he looks at me, I feel like other girls are getting a part of him that belongs to me..And I really dont like it.

Im not sure what to do, we have talked about it, and he knows how I feel and how much it hurts me, and he had tried to not do it as much over this past week, and this girl that we know was at a friends house last night and its like it started all over again.

Blah, I dont know..In no way am I controlling him or trying to be his mother, Looking at other people in normal, but making it a point to stare at them while your girlfriend is sitting next to you, is not.

It just feels like these other girls are getting looked at more than I am, and I am the one he loves..How is that fair to me?
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Old 6th August 2005, 12:24 PM   #2
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hm

Dont worry girl. My bf does the same thing and I cant stand it. Sometimes he does it an I yell at him an hes like Im not doing anything. He even lied to me an admitted he never stares at girls which is a bag of bull**** because he always does it. One time we were in a restaurant a LONG time ago like 2 yrs ago, this blonde girl with big breasts a short skirt comes in and sits behind us the whole time for him to be eating dinner with me hes turning around and checking her out REPEATEDLY. I wrote on a piece of paper on the table. Stop looking at that girl an he looks at the window an then says I wasnt i was looking at the cars. BULL****. I ****ing hate when he ****ing lies to me. It makes me feel like ****. Sometimes at the beach now that we go to some girl stares an smiles at him and im like why are you looking at her hes like "what ? I didnt even notice what your talking about" last year he said he admitted to looking at people because he is going to see if anything bad happens if someone will jump us or kill us. RIIGHt this year he tells me he never looks at girls somtimes he just stares at me an goes your so beautifull. Riight. Do i believe that? NO. I dont and it pisses the crap out of me. I dont know why he has to lie. He even lies that he likes "Girls" he says he doesnt like "Girls" he likes GIRL which is me.


Whatever. WTF. But I see what you mean. And I hate it too its supposed to be MY looks not that girls. Or when we go to the mall he ALWAYS checks the brunette girls from behind when the bend over to get something. I hate it.
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Old 6th August 2005, 4:01 PM   #3
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Old 7th August 2005, 7:49 PM   #4
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Yeah, my BF does the same. And also says he's not looking at all.
I think the problem is that they take us for granted. Such guys are usually very sexual (are yours too?). So if you start mentioning other people wanting you they go crazy (but don't show it ). All you have to do is turn the table and take the ball from his hands.
They know you love them so they start being "interested" in other girls. Just make them interested in you by showing them that you can slip out of their hands any time.
In any case, it's rather bad manners and disrespect than anything else. These girls don't mean anything to them, but for normal people like you and me it's yuck cuz we don't look at other guys.
I gave my BF a hard time about my ex-BF who loves me to death. Now he is the one who is jealous. It should be that way! I dunno if he stares at other chicks and I don't care cuz right now we're separated (we have a LDR). But if he looks at other chicks in the future, I'll do it too. I'll even comment how hot guys are!
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Old 8th August 2005, 11:36 AM   #5
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I dont know..I guess my whole thing on this is, is that I dont do it. And if I were to look at other people I sure as hell wouldnt do it while he is standing next to me.

I talked to a friend of mine who is a female who has been friends with my boyfriend for 5 or 6 years, and she agrees with me..If you are with someone, much less living with them, the least you could do is have the respect not to make it so obvious that you are looking at girls when we are out.

Him and I talked about it more last night and I told him how it really makes me feel, and I think it kind of hit home with him a little bit.

But as far as him being sexual, he is..But its not all the time. He has told me that past relationships he had went in head first and it seemed like it was only about sex, for him and the girls he was dating..But now that hes 25 ( he says its because hes getting older and has matured alot about it) that when it comes to me and our relationship that he cares more about the emotional and mental part of it more than he does sex because he actually wants this to work.

The way he looks at me, and the way he touches me I know he loves me, I do..But just because you know something doesnt mean that you shouldnt be reminded of that from time to time. Hes not one to show his feelings very well, he will just talk about it or wait until we get home to kiss me, and thats fine. I can accept that, because thats who he is..BUT, that was also when he was single, hes not single anymore, and so in a way I feel like something needs to change. And he said that hes willing to change whatever it is that is hurting me..

And if none of this makes any sense its because I think I am typing faster than I am thinking because its all running though my brain at once. blah
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Old 8th August 2005, 8:09 PM   #6
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I'm sure my experience can't be normal but I've only been with one guy who looked. I mean really looked and commented. I know they're all supposed to do it and I've caught other guy's I've dated glancing once in a while. The one that really looked turned out to be a womanizer just like his father....at 27 years old. Some things are just part of their make up. I hated it and rarely said anything to him. Maybe I should have, maybe it would have saved me a lot of time and heart ache. That's my experience, but I know they all look
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Old 9th August 2005, 12:55 PM   #7
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See, He doesnt say anything, he doesnt even like the fact that I say something to him about him looking. But he never says anything unless I make a comment like "you like what you see eh?" And then he will say no, I was just looking at her outfit..heh, yeah right...

But he wouldnt do that to me.
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