thebiglimp Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 So i had a girl over at my place last night. She was the one who wanted to come over, and we sat on my bed with our legs touching just drinkin and watchin netflix. I was so sure sex was about to happen, i didn't make the first move. I knew she was receptive to it but i didn't try to kiss her. Just got drunker and drunker and talked stupid until... she just left. So i text her today- 'lets go on a date this week', and she says im not her type and she's not interested. So im wondering not initiating, not making the first move, a. k. a. wasting time... can that be such a turn off or it was probably something else that turns her off from going on another date? Link to post Share on other sites
FilterCoffee Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 So i had a girl over at my place last night. She was the one who wanted to come over, and we sat on my bed with our legs touching just drinkin and watchin netflix. I was so sure sex was about to happen, i didn't make the first move. I knew she was receptive to it but i didn't try to kiss her. Just got drunker and drunker and talked stupid until... she just left. So i text her today- 'lets go on a date this week', and she says im not her type and she's not interested. So im wondering not initiating, not making the first move, a. k. a. wasting time... can that be such a turn off or it was probably something else that turns her off from going on another date? She gave you many signals to make a move and you chose to get drunk instead. You seemed to be more interested in drinking than having her. That's what turned her off. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Getting plowed probably caused an issue and she's not interested in someone who drinks that much, especially when it's just the two of you. At a party or in a bar you might expect a bit more excess drinking, but getting stupid drunk is still not going to go over well. You didn't even kiss her but drank yourself to a stupor, saying stupid things...there's the turning point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 So i had a girl over at my place last night. She was the one who wanted to come over, and we sat on my bed with our legs touching just drinkin and watchin netflix. I was so sure sex was about to happen, i didn't make the first move. I knew she was receptive to it but i didn't try to kiss her. Just got drunker and drunker and talked stupid until... she just left. So i text her today- 'lets go on a date this week', and she says im not her type and she's not interested. So im wondering not initiating, not making the first move, a. k. a. wasting time... can that be such a turn off or it was probably something else that turns her off from going on another date? Why not? Why continue the drinking until she just left? It sounds to me like yes, she was turned off and doesn't want a repeat performance of last night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosopher Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 To me it is one of two, or possibly both reasons. One you got drunk to the point where you started saying stupid stuff, which may have made you look immature and secondly you did not attempt to make any move on her despite her giving very obvious signs that she was interested (sat on your bed and legs touching). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 OP, why didn't you make a move? Ya gotta capitalize when the time is right; don't wait! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 The turn off was threefold 1. Not initially sitting on the couch. Sitting on a bed with no back support is uncomfortable. 2. Failing to make a move 3. Getting drunk. If she was DTF, your inebriation probably precluded that which annoyed her. She wants a sober confident man who doesn't put himself into a state which impacts performance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 What exactly would have turned her ON about any of that? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Crow795 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Wait few weeks and then try to ask her again, If she will be in the mood then she will probably agree to meet. But this time don't get wasted.. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I would suggest the fact that you got drunker and drunker and started talking stupid that turned her off. Do you have a problem with alcohol? What exactly did you say when you started "talking stupid?" I agree, there is nothing about this that would actually turn a woman on... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Agonistes Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Youth really is wasted on the young. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebiglimp Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 the sad thing is... shes 23. im 33.... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 the sad thing is... shes 23. im 33.... Why do you find that sad? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 the sad thing is... shes 23. im 33.... Really? At 33 you can't figure out why you getting stupid drunk with a girl while sitting on your bed watching movies is a turn off. I thought you were going to say you were a 19 year old college boy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 IMO...since you are a 33 year old man, she was under the impression she was going to get some good'ole mature/experienced/curl your toes sex, but instead she got a guy that acted like he never touched a boob before. She ain't comin back, she long gone. Dude you had it in the bag.......what the hell? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 What the HELL were you thinking dude? If you know a woman is receptive to kissing or even sex, you MAKE A MOVE. Instead you chose to get drunk. How can you not see where you went wrong here? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 My exW had the best line: "Just shut up and fck" That still cracks me up. So true! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebiglimp Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 Cmon guys i just ended a long term relationship last winter. My confidence still isnt there yet. Give me a break :( Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 (edited) Cmon guys i just ended a long term relationship last winter. My confidence still isnt there yet. Give me a break :( Then you are just simply not ready. Keep the dates simple and outside the bedroom for awhile until you feel more relaxed and sure about yourself. Tip: please don't withhold important information or you won't receive the proper advice. You should have stressed that when you started this thread. Edited March 18, 2018 by smackie9 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Cmon guys i just ended a long term relationship last winter. My confidence still isnt there yet. Give me a break :( I'm sorry you are still hurting due to a past break up but you won't find confidence in the bottom of a bottle. Keep your dates public in the early stages. At least offer comfy furniture with good back support, not sitting on a bed. If you treat a woman gallantly you will achieve better more fulfilling results. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Real life isn't like a porn movie. She's not a prostitute you paid to come service you. You took her to your bedroom and then you just froze and got wasted. Like you said, you just assumed sex was going to happen. So how was it going to happen if you weren't participating? Again, real women aren't like the ones in porn films. Link to post Share on other sites
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