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Is this a childish game this woman is playing?!


Biscous

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Long story short I've been dating a woman that's 37. I'm 34. She is a doctor and I mentioned in another thread she has been busy and low energy as of late due to work being her main stressor at the moment.

 

Still despite this she has called me a few times, we've been on about five dates, had sex a few times.

 

At the moment she's out of the country on vacation with a couple she's friends with.

 

I noticed something odd. A few days prior to her leaving she got a bit reserved. Monday she sees me "you look nice, OH you smell nice too!" when I hung out at her place. Tuesday she seems inundated with work but we hang out and she seems distant and quieter than usual.

 

Thursday rolls up to go on vacation. It's Saturday and she hasn't contacted me BUT added me on IG because I told her mine before we left. I follow her back on IG and she the unfollows me. How confusing...

 

So I've seen her update her stuff on there all while not contacting me on vacation. I don't expect her to contact me, but last time she was out of town (in state) she hit me up daily.

 

Why would a person do this? Is this to play some sort of jealousy game? I haven't contacted her since considering I had thing going on this weekend of my own with my family in town.

 

I plan on talking to her Sunday when she gets back or Monday. Pretty much let things ice down a bit before initiating but I'm overthinking like hell.

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Wait, so she’s a 3rd wheel on a trip with JUST a COUPLE to another country? I feel my bull**** radar going full speed here (if that even makes sense).

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Wait, so she’s a 3rd wheel on a trip with JUST a COUPLE to another country? I feel my bull**** radar going full speed here (if that even makes sense).

 

It's a female friend of hers and her husband. She told me about this in Feb that she does trips as a third wheel with some friends.

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So nothing at the moment. Still out of the country. I'm going to try to talk to her face to face within the next week or so.

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Yes, something doesn't "smell" right...

 

I was wrong about her going with a couple. Seems like she went with some mutual female friends to the beach to celebrate a birthday.

 

But like I was saying she was a bit closed off the last time I saw her, but I've seen her behave low energy before due to her job also and working 10 - 12 hours a day.

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At the moment she's out of the country on vacation with a couple she's friends with.

 

I doubt a couple are going on a romantic vacation out of the country and taking a 3rd wheel along. Think 4 wheels. But even if I am wrong about that, I am still reasonably certain that you have competition.

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I doubt a couple are going on a romantic vacation out of the country and taking a 3rd wheel along. Think 4 wheels. But even if I am wrong about that, I am still reasonably certain that you have competition.

 

Read again my mistake. It was just female friends.

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I was wrong about her going with a couple. Seems like she went with some mutual female friends to the beach to celebrate a birthday.

 

But like I was saying she was a bit closed off the last time I saw her, but I've seen her behave low energy before due to her job also and working 10 - 12 hours a day.

 

Maybe, but then why the inconsistency in the details?

 

The "I'm tired" and the "so busy at work" thing are classic symptoms that she is either bored with you or she just is not that into in you. Continuing to peruse will just drive her farther away and probably get you blocked from contacting her. It is time for two things:

 

 

  1. Wait for her to start initiating contact. When she doe don't make any smart-aleck remarks or any "needy" validation question. Just happily and cheerfully make a date.
  2. Until #1 happens, if it ever does, go out with other women. These should casual dates that are not burdened with a focus on outcome. Consider it dating practice,...practice makes perfect.

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I don't see any jealousy games here.

She clearly not very interested in you.

Just take the hint and move on.

 

 

 

^^^^ that right there

 

Just unfollow her and let her do the chasing

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I don't think this is going to work out well for you... This woman has a busy and full life. You want more from her than she is able or willing to give right now.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

The oddest part to me is her following then unfollowing you on Instagram. Maybe it was a mistake?

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Maybe, but then why the inconsistency in the details?

 

The "I'm tired" and the "so busy at work" thing are classic symptoms that she is either bored with you or she just is not that into in you. Continuing to peruse will just drive her farther away and probably get you blocked from contacting her. It is time for two things:

 

  1. Wait for her to start initiating contact. When she doe don't make any smart-aleck remarks or any "needy" validation question. Just happily and cheerfully make a date.
  2. Until #1 happens, if it ever does, go out with other women. These should casual dates that are not burdened with a focus on outcome. Consider it dating practice,...practice makes perfect.

 

Even when she's busy she has made time to see me and do things. The times she's been tired she's invited me over and told me that she's going to sleep early so I can't really discern low interest when her actions are speaking interest.

 

There's been times she's chased me in the sense of calling me, letting me know what's going on. Just this week thing have been off. Lots of surgeries she had to perform leaving, charting, etc.

 

Also I've been thinking that if I do take this further I'm dealing with a woman that's a doctor. Waves of high stress and I doubt it will get any better.

 

I don't see any jealousy games here.

She clearly not very interested in you.

Just take the hint and move on.

 

^^^^ that right there

 

Just unfollow her and let her do the chasing

 

The thing is she followed me first. I didn't pursue it. That's the odd thing.

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The oddest part to me is her following then unfollowing you on Instagram. Maybe it was a mistake?

 

She probably was curious to see what photos he has on IG.

I don't think it was a mistake, It just doesn't mean anything.

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She probably was curious to see what photos he has on IG.

I don't think it was a mistake, It just doesn't mean anything.

 

My profile is public lol so she really didn't need to :shrug:

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Maybe, but then why the inconsistency in the details?

 

The "I'm tired" and the "so busy at work" thing are classic symptoms that she is either bored with you or she just is not that into in you. Continuing to peruse will just drive her farther away and probably get you blocked from contacting her. It is time for two things:

 

 

  1. Wait for her to start initiating contact. When she doe don't make any smart-aleck remarks or any "needy" validation question. Just happily and cheerfully make a date.
  2. Until #1 happens, if it ever does, go out with other women. These should casual dates that are not burdened with a focus on outcome. Consider it dating practice,...practice makes perfect.

 

I will do this and haven't contacted her since Thurs.

 

BTW she's been transparent about her surgeries, dinners, work, etc with me. Almost far more than I was interested in so I have an idea of her schedule.

 

She's even told me the next few weeks about family coming in town, this trip, and a work thing in April so I do believe her in that sense.

 

I'd LIKE to believe a woman in her late 30s would be up front because she hasn't had trouble with being direct before with me.

 

Thanks for the input BTW

 

I don't think this is going to work out well for you... This woman has a busy and full life. You want more from her than she is able or willing to give right now.

 

And she said she wanted a serious relationship....lol I'll dial back.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

 

And she said she wanted a serious relationship....lol I'll dial back.

 

Well, I think some people think they want it until they don't. In her case maybe she just was late to the game in realizing she doesn't have the time and energy she thought she had to put into it.

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Well, I think some people think they want it until they don't. In her case maybe she just was late to the game in realizing she doesn't have the time and energy she thought she had to put into it.

 

I've had that happen and most women in rgar category have been upfront about it.

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I go on international vacations sometimes. I did not text or call my SO because I didn't have service or there was a large difference in the time zone.

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