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Should I write him off?


Prim&proper

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Prim&proper

So i've been seeing this guy for over a month. Total jock type, sports game and really busy schedule. I see him once and week and we've recently slept together. My problem with him is that in between the dates he doesn't call or email me at all. He usually waits about 2-3 days after a sleepover date to call and arrange the next date.

 

On our last date this week, it was great. He slept over and we had a blast. He told me when he left that he will let me know whether he can see me on Saturday. Perhaps I overplayed my hand, but yesterday I sent him an email asking if he wanted to hang out and see a show with me today. He called me later that day and left me a vm saying that he can't hang out with me on Saturday, but not mentioning tonight's show at all. I returned his call and said that's too bad but fail to mention tonight. So far i haven't heard from him about tonight at all. I'm getting anxious because i don't want to waste the tickets so i got someone else to go with me, but it bugs me that he doesn't call or email just to say he can't make it. I think that's just plain rude.

 

So what do you think I should do. Write him off because he's too flakey and/or not "into me"? Or should i give him a chance? Should I have a talk with him? At this point I don't know when i'm seeing him next and that really bugs me.

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TheSouthernChick

People are only as disrespectful of your time as you let them be. I personally would hold him accountable by telling him that you won't make any tentative plans with him anymore -- and you won't see him at all if he fails to show up or call for firm dates. I'm glad you got someone else to go to your show with you, so that you're not left standing around, waiting on him resentfully. It sounds like he's either abusing your time or you are more invested in a relationship than he is -- or both.

 

Doesn't it seem as if he's treating you like just a booty call? Which is fine if you're both getting what you want out of the relationship, but it sounds like you're not. So I'd tell him how it's gonna be, or I'd cut him loose.

 

By the way, I don't think it's overplaying your hand to reach out to someone you've slept with and invite them to spend more time with you. If anyone has that right, a recent sexual partner does! But you might try calling next time instead of e-mailing; it's more personal. ;o) And his tone of voice might tell you a lot.

 

Hope this helps -- TheSouthernChick

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Prim&proper

So it's Saturday night and he still has not called. Am I missing something here? How can someone be that intentionally rude? He's a really nice guy so this behavior is totally bizarre.

 

In any event I'm writing him off. His behavior clearly indicates that he's not into me.

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