livinglife2019 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 So myself and my ex broke up about 8 weeks ago. He broke up with me, we had dinner and then hooked about about 2 weeks ago after the hook up we pretty much texted everyday. We then hooked again, only this time we hooked up and then went for dinner and some shopping. However after the last hookup I haven't heard anything from him, no contact at all. I know it was just a hookup so I don't mind it just being that. My issue is it felt like it did when we dated. He even gave me a driving lesson. Im totally confused. After the hookup I was getting ready to leave, when he said he had planned on us going for dinner and then to see a movie. Which we did. I don't know where I stand. I don't even know if I want to get back with him. Am I over analyzing and should I just leave it be, and let what happens happen. I haven't been in contact with him and have decided to let him reach out to me which he did and he got in touch saying I left my lipbalm in his place, however after some texting back and forth he has now gone quiet again. why do guys play games. either he's keeping me as a back up incase the girl he's seeing isn't interested or is just using me Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 (edited) Why ask us? Only he can give you those answers. You need to ask him. Maybe he thinks it's ok with you to be doing this casually while you date other people. Maybe he just wants sex, maybe he is hoping you will say something about getting back together....who knows? BTW he isn't "using you" if you are a willing participant and there were no promises made by him that this was a commitment.....sex is not a currency that entitles you to anything. Edited February 24, 2018 by smackie9 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Yes, you are. That is not necessarily a bad thing since you seem to recognize that it was just a hook up. My thought on this are two fold. First, lots of relationships end like this, without a clear delineation between when you were together and when you were done...you "hook up" a few times at more distant frequencies until it just peters out. And secondly, lots of times you KNOW you should break up but don't want to, in which case when you are communicating with your "ex" or even having sex or spending time with them, you genuinely like being with them. But then you remember that there is something inherently wrong with the relationship and you become more distant. Neither situation is inherently bad. It is only bad to the extent that one side wants back and the other does not or if both sides don't understand that you are not back together. So communicate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I have occasionally had sex with exes but have never got back together with one. Sometimes it's seems like we get along better because we don't spend a lot of time together. But when you do start spending lots of time together again you start to realize why you broke up in the first place. So, enjoy the sex if you want but avoid a big emotional investment would be my advice. If you can't have sex without an emotional investment then I recommend backing away. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 How long were you together, and why did he end it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Yes you are a hookup or a backup plan or you BF is having difficulty fully letting you go, even though he officially broke up with you. The bottom line is you are split. You don't mention that he's trying to reconcile and you state don't know where you stand. You stand in limbo as long as you keep allowing this. You are familiarity. You are someone he once cared about, and still does but you are not compatible, so when he feels that void from loss, whether it's horny or lonely or both, he has reached out, and you have taken him back. Then he goes back to being broken up with you, and you end up feeling confused and hurt. It's time for you put up the fences and keep him away. He broke up with you. Let's remember this. HE broke up with you. Your relationship is over. He doesn't get to come over and use you for sex and/or companionship when the wind happens to blow him in your direction. I think the ball is in your court right now, OP. You need to tell him to pound sand. He is not your Prince Charming, and you need to let him go. I'm afraid the burden falls squarely on you, and it sucks, but unless you're okay with a romp once in awhile when he has nothing else to do, you need to go NC with him...shut it down completely. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 If you are unsure, stop sleeping with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts