Grey40 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 This has happened a couple times recently. Met a girl in person they are really into they even take my phone and put their number in there and say”text me anytime”. Met a girl last night,she texted me first this morning saying it was really nice meeting me and everything. I ask what she’s doing tomorrow night and say “what are you up to tomorrow night? Want to get some drinks at XX at like 8/9? She says she has work until 1130 (she’s a waitress). So I ask her “what’s your schedule like the rest of the week? I also don’t mind hanging out late because I don’t work mornings.” Haven’t heard back. Seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 It's not you. People for some reason just behave like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 It's not you. People for some reason just behave like this. Crazy. I mean it’s only been 2 hours so she could respond at some point later. Most girls offer another time or day if they’re interested...but I’ve also been with girls before that don’t do that and theyre still into it, they just aren’t very good with their plans or scheduling. I mean she gave all the classic signs of being really into me both in person and via text, so extremely strange that she’s dodging actually going out. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Only 2 hours and your making a post , man the world out there must be crazy these days. Everyone reads all the internet garbage don't do this don';t do that don't be needy don't blah blah, do this do that.They all seem to be trying to out clever each other Give it a day or two for crying out loud. ps , ya could try a little bit of convo first to btw and a bit of time between dates, again trying too hard to be the the leader in that one. Hassling her straight off like that's gonna be too in your face for her hasn't even been 24hrs form what l can tell. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 If you're getting bent out of shape over a two hour delay in texting, then I would say "impatience" is what you're doing wrong. Heck, it can take me four hours to discover that my phone's battery has died or that I left it on silent for half a day. People and technology are not infallible. Besides that, they have other things to do than be at our beck and call to answer every text straight away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 If you're getting bent out of shape over a two hour delay in texting, then I would say "impatience" is what you're doing wrong. Heck, it can take me four hours to discover that my phone's battery has died or that I left it on silent for half a day. People and technology are not infallible. Besides that, they have other things to do than be at our beck and call to answer every text straight away. I have to disagree. Not in today’s world. Today everyone is on their phone. Even on dates you will see their phone right next to them. Esp young women..glued to their phones. It is very unusual to not get a back text right away but I’m not saying that it’s right. Just saying that the expectation for a quicker response is not completely unfounded. I think people are becoming sick over this tbh Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 So, 2 hours and you are getting your knickers in a twist? Are you serious? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I have to disagree. Not in today’s world. Today everyone is on their phone. Even on dates you will see their phone right next to them. Esp young women..glued to their phones. It is very unusual to not get a back text right away but I’m not saying that it’s right. Just saying that the expectation for a quicker response is not completely unfounded. I think people are becoming sick over this tbh I have to disagree. Not everyone is glued to their phones irrespective of age. The ones who don't realise that just don't see as they have their head in their phone all the time..... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I have to disagree. Not in today’s world. Today everyone is on their phone. Even on dates you will see their phone right next to them. Esp young women..glued to their phones. It is very unusual to not get a back text right away but I’m not saying that it’s right. Just saying that the expectation for a quicker response is not completely unfounded. I think people are becoming sick over this tbh I have an 18yo who puts her phone in her bag when she's working and only gets it out on breaks. Same if she's exercising or shopping. She's about to start University and given her work ethic I doubt she'll be texting with prospective dates during her lectures. The women you describe would be completely unemployable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 You met her last night what was the rush to meet her 48 hours later. I agree to bring up 2nd date invitation quickly bit the actual should have been for the weekend. Then not only you want to see her after 48 hours but you are ready to get out passed 11pm in middle of the week...that is too much desperate. By the way if you both don't work early in the day invite her for brunch on weekend. There are several reasons why she has not responded right away. It's not yoir concerns at this time in the game. She may reply tomorrow only and turns out being a great wome you'll end up dating. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 This has happened a couple times recently. Met a girl in person they are really into they even take my phone and put their number in there and say”text me anytime”. Met a girl last night,she texted me first this morning saying it was really nice meeting me and everything. I ask what she’s doing tomorrow night and say “what are you up to tomorrow night? Want to get some drinks at XX at like 8/9? She says she has work until 1130 (she’s a waitress). So I ask her “what’s your schedule like the rest of the week? I also don’t mind hanging out late because I don’t work mornings.” Haven’t heard back. Seriously? Its def not you, in our modern culture, there are so many choices and sometimes few people looking for a relationship. People love playing games and do not consider the other person's feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I have an 18yo who puts her phone in her bag when she's working and only gets it out on breaks. Same if she's exercising or shopping. She's about to start University and given her work ethic I doubt she'll be texting with prospective dates during her lectures. The women you describe would be completely unemployable. Good for your daughter! Looks like she’s got a good head on her shoulders. Nah, though most people are perfectly able to text at work and do. I’ve never dated anyone who didn’t text during work Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Seriously, it's a crap shoot. She could be one who was inundating you with texts instead, making you run for the hills. Give it a day and if she still hasn't returned the text, make other plans. She's not the one. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I also find you were a bit selfish invitng her to meet after her days work at 11 pm. She is a waitress, she worked on her feet all night long, it's a sweaty job and by 11pm her make-up and hair are gone flat, and her favorite perfume has been replace by the stink of steak & french fries. Women don't want to meet men not at their best. Then i'm not talking about her having to head home alone at 1 am. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Yeah I agree it was probably super quick of me to ask her out, but I thought we hit it off pretty well, so it didn’t feel weird to do. Hopefully I didn’t scare her off. She did just reply, she said “hey sorry I was at work lol but yeah maybe gotta see but I’ll let you know” Completely ignored my question about what her schedule is for the rest of the week. I’m guessing I scared her off. Nothing worse than the “I’ll let you know” answer Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 She said Text me sometime. Well that's all she was interested in doing to feel you out. Next time chat a bit, do some friendly banter to stimulate her brain. She will ask you what you are doing when she gets all warm and fuzzy towards you. That's when you slip in and suggest a date. nice and easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 She said Text me sometime. Well that's all she was interested in doing to feel you out. Next time chat a bit, do some friendly banter to stimulate her brain. She will ask you what you are doing when she gets all warm and fuzzy towards you. That's when you slip in and suggest a date. nice and easy. Her exact words were “hit me up anytime”. We already met in person and had a good 20-30 min conversation what else do you need to feel out? You either want to see me again one on one or you don’t. Friendly banter via text is just a way to fall into friend zone category in my experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Her exact words were “hit me up anytime”. We already met in person and had a good 20-30 min conversation what else do you need to feel out? You either want to see me again one on one or you don’t. Friendly banter via text is just a way to fall into friend zone category in my experience. Not if you know how to do it right! Flirting on text is so much fun! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Not if you know how to do it right! Flirting on text is so much fun! I agree but once I’m already involved. I hate investing any kind of time like hat into someone when I’m not even sure she’s serious about meeting up or not. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I agree but once I’m already involved. I hate investing any kind of time like hat into someone when I’m not even sure she’s serious about meeting up or not. Investing time? Texting is one of the least time taking way to keep a communication going. You can do it any time of the day. You don't need to dress up. You can do it while cooking, studying, working... watching a game. Investing time is face to face meeting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Her exact words were “hit me up anytime”. We already met in person and had a good 20-30 min conversation what else do you need to feel out? You either want to see me again one on one or you don’t. Friendly banter via text is just a way to fall into friend zone category in my experience. To be honest, to be so black and white, doesn't take any of the middle ground in place, when there really is some.. No joke, i know people who have legitimately been excited about a guy when they met & talked for 30 minutes, gave the number and by time the they were texting with the guy, had changed their minds OR more likely the texts got them bored or not interested and they were not invested so not exactly jumping at the chance. People process things differently. I wouldn't assume that she would remain interested by time of meeting & a date. That said, if you worded your request as you said, i can't see that it was anything you did that had her losing interest. could just be her. could be that you are full on and she's not like that (more like slower to warm up). Ok, and all that said, from her last text she certainly sounds nonchalant (i.e. yes uninterested at this point) in going out. Maybe she is just flakey or has other priorities. When my friends lost interest in between those two points it was most likely that they were still hung up on some other guy, not really into dating at that point because of career/other priorities, or the big one, guy's text game was not good and she got bored or thought it would be a bad idea to go out with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Yeah I agree it was probably super quick of me to ask her out, but I thought we hit it off pretty well, so it didn’t feel weird to do. Hopefully I didn’t scare her off. She did just reply, she said “hey sorry I was at work lol but yeah maybe gotta see but I’ll let you know” Completely ignored my question about what her schedule is for the rest of the week. I’m guessing I scared her off. Nothing worse than the “I’ll let you know” answer She works as a waitress, that means she has no clue what time she'll be getting out of work when she has the night shift, she also doesn't know when she'll be called in for extra time. People working in restaurant don't have fix schedules. I think you need to continue searching and if she gets back to you good , if not nothing lost. You've learn a couple of things here, give a few days between dates, let the woman wonder about you. You met her Tuesday so you could have offered plans for the weekend. If the girl isn't convinced about you she won't feel pressured. When I met my boyfriend the 1st time I had decided in my head to not see him again, I met him on a Tuesday. On Wednesday he contacted me and invited me to a movie for the following Saturday. I thought to myself *why not* I have nothing planned and I didn't feel he was cligny or overly interested, he was just going with the flow. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I%27ll%20let%20you%20know&=true 2 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 (edited) If not much time has passed and she's just busy, this could all mean nothing, but I see two things here: 1. Lack of building connection/excitement When she texted you, you should have bantered a little first. It builds up the excitement. Instead you immediately asked her out and for the next day. 2. Chasing When you asked her out, she said she was working late and didn't offer an alternative time. That's when you should have let her come to you. If you didn't hear from her, you could try to banter again (since you skipped it before) and IF that goes well, then ask her out again. Edited February 22, 2018 by olivetree Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Share Posted February 22, 2018 Yeah well so she said “I’ll let you know” so I said ok enjoy work, then she started to chat a bit about how she’s hungover and what not etc. I replied and made some jokes but I’m going to let her come to me now. She knows I’m interested. It’s up to her to let me know. Part of why I asked her out so quick is that I knew the next night was the only day I had available this week to see her, but I yeah I could have waited. The reason I don’t like texting is I’m not great at it, and I feel like it’ll just hurt my chances to text to much, rather let the milystery build by being sort of aloof in that regard and just using texting to meet in person until we’ve been ona couple of dates Link to post Share on other sites
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