karly85 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone. I have been seeing a man and just after Christmas we got into an exclusive relationship. Unfortunately due to his circumstances ( as he tells me ) he cannot afford to take me out etc. We usually go to the pics once a month. Rest of the time, we stay in at either his or mine. We watch TV and eat dinner. I will cook or sometimes we get a takeaway. My birthday came and went and he didn't not get me anything, even a card (he said he had no money), the same for Christmas and valentines To be honest, I am not overly fussed about things as such but a card would have been enough. He is quite needy at times and can shout at me and create arguments if he feels that I'm busy doing other thing and maybe not texting him as much etc. I told him this is not acceptable in a relationship and if he continues to get angry and rude towards me, I will end the relationship. After this, he has stopped significantly. I stayed at his house a few weeks ago. I woke up the next day feeling quite ill and light headed. As I was getting ready to leave, I started to feel worse. I asked him if I could make a warm drink as I was feeling faint. He told me he had no drinks in the house and I should just have one when I get to my own house. I then asked him if he would kindly pop to the shop (directly opposite his house, approx 2 minute walk) and buy a can of pop before I started driving. He said no. He told me if I wanted it, then I should go myself on the way out. I left his house, not only feeling poorly but very disheartened. I drove home feeling disappointed by his lack of compassion and care for me. He made a joke when I got home and said, 'did you sort yourself out?'.. After this, my feelings for him have changed. I don't feel the same anymore as I would never treat my partner, friends, family or anyone as he did, let alone if they told me that they were feeling unwell. I don't know if am over reacting to this situation or if I have cause to feel like this now? Edited February 20, 2018 by karly85 correction Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 You are no over reacting. Your BF is stingy . . . with his time, with his feelings, with everything. He has shown no evidence of caring about you. If he has a job he should be able to budget well enough to get you a card for your birthday & Valentine's Day. To turn you out so cavalierly when you weren't feeling well was simply mean. Drop him & go date some body with a more generous spirit. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hi everyone. I have been seeing a man and just after Christmas we got into an exclusive relationship. Unfortunately due to his circumstances ( as he tells me ) he cannot afford to take me out etc. We usually go to the pics once a month. Rest of the time, we stay in at either his or mine. We watch TV and eat dinner. I will cook or sometimes we get a takeaway. My birthday came and went and he didn't not get me anything, even a card (he said he had no money), the same for Christmas and valentines To be honest, I am not overly fussed about things as such but a card would have been enough. He is quite needy at times and can shout at me and create arguments if he feels that I'm busy doing other thing and maybe not texting him as much etc. I told him this is not acceptable in a relationship and if he continues to get angry and rude towards me, I will end the relationship. After this, he has stopped significantly. I stayed at his house a few weeks ago. I woke up the next day feeling quite ill and light headed. As I was getting ready to leave, I started to feel worse. I asked him if I could make a warm drink as I was feeling faint. He told me he had no drinks in the house and I should just have one when I get to my own house. I then asked him if he would kindly pop to the shop (directly opposite his house, approx 2 minute walk) and buy a can of pop before I started driving. He said no. He told me if I wanted it, then I should go myself on the way out. I left his house, not only feeling poorly but very disheartened. I drove home feeling disappointed by his lack of compassion and care for me. He made a joke when I got home and said, 'did you sort yourself out?'.. After this, my feelings for him have changed. I don't feel the same anymore as I would never treat my partner, friends, family or anyone as he did, let alone if they told me that they were feeling unwell. I don't know if am over reacting to this situation or if I have cause to feel like this now? Yes this is a good reason. If you can't go out and have fun once in a while, why be in a R. This guy is fishy or clueless, and you don't want either one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 karly85, I stayed at his house a few weeks ago. I woke up the next day feeling quite ill and light headed. As I was getting ready to leave, I started to feel worse. I asked him if I could make a warm drink as I was feeling faint. He told me he had no drinks in the house and I should just have one when I get to my own house. I then asked him if he would kindly pop to the shop (directly opposite his house, approx 2 minute walk) and buy a can of pop before I started driving. He said no. He told me if I wanted it, then I should go myself on the way out. This guy is a total and utter insensitive $h!£. Dump him now. He is quite needy at times and can shout at me and create arguments if he feels that I'm busy doing other thing and maybe not texting him as much etc This was your warning, and he isn't likely to change - move on - you deserve better than this kind of crappy treatment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 You are no over reacting. Your BF is stingy . . . with his time, with his feelings, with everything. He has shown no evidence of caring about you. If he has a job he should be able to budget well enough to get you a card for your birthday & Valentine's Day. To turn you out so cavalierly when you weren't feeling well was simply mean. Drop him & go date some body with a more generous spirit. Thank you for your reply. I did think that he could have budgeted for a card but I think a part of me knew that he would not do it so I stopped expecting. After this last incident, my feelings have almost died for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 - A present doesn't have to cost a cent. He could have given you a full body massage, a hand-written card, cooked your favorite meal, taken you to an art exhibition with a free entrance (or whatever you prefer). There are so many ways to make a day special without spending money. Besides, how poor does a man have to be to not afford some flowers or a cake... - if your sister or a dear friend told you she's dating a guy who yells at her, gets angry and rude, doesnt even want to get her a cup of tea or help her with grosseries when she's sick, would you tell her to leave him cause she deserves better? So please be your own best friend and get yourself out of this pathetic relationship. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 After this last incident, my feelings have almost died for him. And that is exactly why you have to break up. Without feelings there is nothing worth staying for. Two things made me fall in love with my husband: he comforted me after the death of an EX & on our 4th date, we went for a hike with my dog. The dog stepped on a piece of glass on the trail & cut his paw. My then new BF (now husband) carried my 65 pound dog 2 miles back to the car. Your guy would probably suggest that you kill the dog. You want a man with that kind of warm & generous spirit. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I'm a guy. I think that's an important fact in this reply because as a guy, I have one thing to say. Get the hell out. Delete him. Do not return his calls or texts. He's a jerk. I'm not surprised that he has no money - having no money is not a sign that you are a loser. But being a loser is a GREAT indication of someone likely to have no money. The good news is that some guy will treat you right if you respect yourself enough to get out of this relationship. And when you meet him, you won't remember this guy at all except to warn some poor, unfortunate soul on Loveshack at some point in the future. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 This guy just doesn't get it. He lacks compassion and doesn't know how to show he even cares. Something simple like going to the store to get you a drink? You shouldn't have to have a talk about these things with a grown man. You talked to him about the shouting and he's worked on that. You can't nor should you have to talk to someone about compassion and caring. He is who is at this point. Don't waste any more time on this one. I don't see how this relationship is worth trying to save. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 As a guy, this is completely unacceptable behavior. You should dump him immediately - he's an ass. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sn3akerlover Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Guy's perspective: If I were you I would end the relationship today. There's no sense in investing another minute into someone that is acting like that. It's beyond assho*e behavior- that was a complete disregard for your health. Not to mention the "no money" thing- that's BS because creativity makes a world of a difference when your funds are low. You definitely deserve better than this unhealthy relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I agree with most of the posters Drop this loser !! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Geez Karly I would have gotten you the pop and we're strangers. This guy is no good. We women have to be good pickers for the human race. Invest in good people, not bad ones, and we will all be better for it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 How on earth did you end up in a relationship with this guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) End this relationship. Seriously now, you have more than enough reasons to kick him to the curb. Just do it! This guy is a boat anchor...cut it lose and sail away. Edited February 20, 2018 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 As other posters have suggested there are things you can do with no money....in fact its rather fun...a broke bf is different to a lazy uncaring bf...sounds like a lazy uncaring bf ....you should leave and i think you know it considering your feelings for him have died...your happiness is important..... having no money or food and drink in the house is not a reason to say what he said to you when you felt poorly....because there is always something to offer ...and that is a glass of water(it probably would have helped you rehydrate seeing you felt dizzy).... i have had to offer visitors or travellers who walk through my door, a glass of water or a piece of toast or maybe a vegemite sandwich when i have hardly anything.....winners can be broke......what makes them not a loser is that sometimes broke or poor people give away what they have they share their last morsel of food..when visitors come ....they have a meal even if it means they eat left overs for a week.....and when they have nothing...they offer icy cool water..... next time....when you date someone if they never offer you a glass of water when you are feeling unwell...there's something really wrong there.. ..there's a thoughtless uncaring and selfish spirit in there somewhere you don't need to get to know...you end those relationships with thoughtless spirits ....early....and fast.you know in your heart what you need to do you dont need to hear it or read it on loveshack...i just wanted to show support for you with what you are going to do...which is say goodbye to him..i wish you well....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 How did you end up getting into a relationship with this loser? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Your bf is a cheapskate and doesn't like people, plus he truly has no respect for others - not even you. I was with someone once like that for a flash, I recognized his "problems" and dropped him like a hot potato. I would suggest you do the same as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 You are no over reacting. Your BF is stingy . . . with his time, with his feelings, with everything. He has shown no evidence of caring about you. If he has a job he should be able to budget well enough to get you a card for your birthday & Valentine's Day. To turn you out so cavalierly when you weren't feeling well was simply mean. Drop him & go date some body with a more generous spirit. Yes I agree! I dated a couple stingy guys and I can tell you generous spirit ones are a LOT better. Even if a guy is broke, he will find a way to spoil you, not in a monetary way. Don't let the broke thing fool you, if he truly was broke, he would scrape his pennies together to get you something small. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Are u dating my ex? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Dating is a time of discovery. You have discovered that this man is not generous with his time or money. You have discovered that he is entitled and yells at you when he is unhappy. You have discovered that he care more about himself and could not be bothered to show any kindness or compassion when you were not well. Now that you have this information, you can make the decision to stay with this man or kick him to the curb. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 How on earth did you end up in a relationship with this guy? That I am questioning myself! Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Are u dating my ex? Could be, Ha! He is now my EX, ended the relationship today. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 As other posters have suggested there are things you can do with no money....in fact its rather fun...a broke bf is different to a lazy uncaring bf...sounds like a lazy uncaring bf ....you should leave and i think you know it considering your feelings for him have died...your happiness is important..... having no money or food and drink in the house is not a reason to say what he said to you when you felt poorly....because there is always something to offer ...and that is a glass of water(it probably would have helped you rehydrate seeing you felt dizzy).... i have had to offer visitors or travellers who walk through my door, a glass of water or a piece of toast or maybe a vegemite sandwich when i have hardly anything.....winners can be broke......what makes them not a loser is that sometimes broke or poor people give away what they have they share their last morsel of food..when visitors come ....they have a meal even if it means they eat left overs for a week.....and when they have nothing...they offer icy cool water..... next time....when you date someone if they never offer you a glass of water when you are feeling unwell...there's something really wrong there.. ..there's a thoughtless uncaring and selfish spirit in there somewhere you don't need to get to know...you end those relationships with thoughtless spirits ....early....and fast.you know in your heart what you need to do you dont need to hear it or read it on loveshack...i just wanted to show support for you with what you are going to do...which is say goodbye to him..i wish you well....deb Hi, Thank you for your advice. I have ended the relationship with him today. I actually told him how I was feeling and his reaction was, ' go get a hold of yourself and stop being a drama queen'. He told me I was over reacting and that I had no reason to feel as such. I am looking forward to the future now, it doesn't seem as dark and worrying anymore. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 I'm a guy. I think that's an important fact in this reply because as a guy, I have one thing to say. Get the hell out. Delete him. Do not return his calls or texts. He's a jerk. I'm not surprised that he has no money - having no money is not a sign that you are a loser. But being a loser is a GREAT indication of someone likely to have no money. The good news is that some guy will treat you right if you respect yourself enough to get out of this relationship. And when you meet him, you won't remember this guy at all except to warn some poor, unfortunate soul on Loveshack at some point in the future. Hi, thank you for the advice. It did help me. I have ended the relationship today. I told him how I felt and he completely disregarded my feeling and told me I shouldn't be feeling any of these things. He said I was a drama queen and ranted some other things. It does feel like a weight has been lifted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts