dwade09 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I am wondering if there is any ladies on here who would date a guy whos 450 lbs obese and on disability getting 800$ a month to live on because of ptsd and rheumatoid arthritis unable to work because of those two symptoms. Who would give him a chance get to know him see what type of person he is and what you two have in common and how well you two get along? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Why do you ask? Is the obese guy you? Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I think a woman with similar issues would. Walmart is probably a good place to find them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwade09 Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 I think a woman with similar issues would. Walmart is probably a good place to find them. I said women, you are not a woman why are you even commenting? Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I said women, you are not a woman why are you even commenting? I don't know, I guess I wanted to add something positive so you felt like you could find somebody is all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Is he currently taking active, measurable steps to get himself down to a healthy weight? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 No. I can be a sincere friend, but not date him. Dating is romance. I am not an equal opportunity dater. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Sincerely no. I would only be interested in finding someone who is equal to me physically and financially. Compatibility is key. At my age I don't have time for a fixer upper. But there are women out there who would. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 No I would not, I still have good years in me and I want to have great sex as much as possible until the end. I need someone that can also follow me in my life-style which means running around, enjoying the outdoor, travel, tackle renovation project together, etc etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 This thread has taught me one thing: I need to start dating Canadian women! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 dwade, The short answer to your question is - absolutely no way. If this guy does not love/respect himself enough to embrace and maintain a healthy lifestyle then how would he be able to love/respect me? Having RA is not an excuse to avoid all exercise. Having PTSD is not an excuse to avoid having a healthy lifestyle. What is this guy's height and age? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I would not. However, there are probably women out there who would. The trick is finding somebody who loves you for you. I suspect that under a doctor's supervision exercise would reduce the weight, help with the PTSD & take some of the pressure off your joints thereby lessening the effects of the RA. Best wishes as you get a handle on your health. Who knows you may meet the right woman during your weight loss journey. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Who would give him a chance get to know him see what type of person he is and what you two have in common and how well you two get along? If I were a woman, these are the things I would try to find out after all the other stuff checks out, if it even does. The other stuff being things like "Is he at least reasonably healthy?" "Does he have a decent job?" "Am I at all physically attracted to him in any way?" If I can't give an affirmative answer to any of those things, why am I going to bother wondering what we have in common? Why would I care? I'm no doctor but I'm not so sure the ailments you described are good enough explanations to be jobless and morbidly obese. Even if they were, I'm not sure what the appeal of this person is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) No I would not, I still have good years in me and I want to have great sex as much as possible until the end. I need someone that can also follow me in my life-style which means running around, enjoying the outdoor, travel, tackle renovation project together, etc etc. Despite having said countless times that I've often found myself falling for men who wouldn't normally register on my radar physically speaking, there needs to still be some commonalities and similar interests for any kind of attraction or relationship to blossom. Sadly this scenario is too far off the mark for me. I agree with those who said a good friendship might be possible but like Gaeta pointed out, I'm far too vivacious with a lot of great years still ahead of her and where sex is still VERY important to me in my relationships. Being with someone so obese never mind all the other issues he's having to contend with, this wouldn't work for me. And it's not just about sex (although that is a biggie). I need to be with someone who can go toe to toe with me and who always strives to better themselves in all areas. I can't be with anyone, regardless of their weight, who sits and wallows in their dysfunction or whatever issues they're struggling with. Even as a friendship I would likely be more tough love than be someone who enables them. A romantic relationship needs many things to be sustaining and fulfilling. Friendship is a great start to build from but unless all you're looking for or happy with is companionship, it isn't enough...or at least not for me. Sorry. Edited February 20, 2018 by Michelle ma Belle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) So OP there you have it, and honestly put I might add. it's not about "oh he's ugly" or "he's a scrub". It's about being emotionally stable, have self worth, love oneself, have ambitions, not about looks and money. These are things that are important to a lot of people who want a healthy sustainable relationship. If you can't bring it to the table, then it's time to self improve and reap the benefits when you reach your goals. Looking for someone to be a rescuer/ becomes a codependency type relationship which is unhealthy and dysfunctional. Edited February 20, 2018 by smackie9 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 So OP there you have it, and honestly put I might add. it's not about "oh he's ugly" or "he's a scrub". It's about being emotionally stable, have self worth, love oneself, have ambitions, not about looks and money. These are things that are important to a lot of people who want a healthy sustainable relationship. If you can't bring it to the table, then it's time to self improve and reap the benefits when you reach your goals. Looking for someone to be a rescuer/ becomes a codependency type relationship which is unhealthy and dysfunctional. Agreed. I really can't see any woman with her sh*t together falling for someone who is this challenged. I know that sounds harsh but like I said, I'm much more tough love these days and would rather lay it out straight. And again, this isn't just about weight, although that alone comes with its own challenges. We've seen scads of threads on here of people struggling with dating people with PTSD, depression, bi-polar, and whatever other mental illness. Add in the obese factor and the health challenges that it brings that include mental and emotional, and you will be hard pressed to find any woman to opt in with both feet to save him. Unless he's meeting women in a similar state as him, it all really begins with HIM. HE needs to start the process of bettering himself, however small, if he has any hope of finding someone willing to walk alongside him on this journey. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts