The pros and cons of various ways to meet potential daters

[Philosopher]

After dating for a few years through a variety of different means I think I have a pretty good idea of the advantages and disadvantages of each method of dating. Here are the pros and cons of five common ways of meeting people to date.

 

Online

 

Pros

• Almost unlimited pool of potential people to date. You are almost certain never to run out of people who you can message
  
• Does not require that much effort or courage, you can do this in your pyjamas on a lazy Sunday
  
• The vast majority of daters will be single
  
• You have a vague idea of what they are like from their profile
  

 

Cons

 

• There is too much choice. Therefore both you and those you message often end up rejecting on often trivial reasons
  
• There are a lot of timewasters whom have little interest in actually meeting people. This and the above reason makes getting actual dates a frustrating experience
  
• When you meet there far too often is no chemistry and little in common
  

 

Through Friends

 

Pros

 

• You will likely have similar interests and background as you will share similar interests as your friend
  
• It does not take much courage
  
• You are both likely to feel comfortable as you should already have quite a bit in common and you will have both been vetted through your friend
  Cons
  
• Small potential pool of daters. This is particularly the case if you have few friends or you are older when most of your friend's friends will already be in relationships
  
• If it all goes wrong there is a risk you will lose one or more of your friends
  

 

 

Through Work

 

Pros

• You will likely see each other almost every weekday, making it very easy to get to know each other quickly
  
• You have at least one thing in common
  
• It does not take that much courage or effort
  

 

Cons

• Small potential pool of daters. This is particularly the case if you work in a small company or an industry dominated by one gender such as I.T or teaching
  
• If it goes wrong you are in trouble. At best it will result in an uncomfortable situation at work . At worst you will have to move jobs. Even being rejected for a date will likely result in some discomfort
  
• You could get into trouble from management. Some workplaces ban work romances completely while most frown upon manager subordinate relationships for obvious reasons
  

 

Cold Approaches

 

Pros

 

• Almost unlimited pool of potential people of date
  
• You can do it almost anywhere
  
• You know if are attracted to them physically right from the start
  

 

Cons

• It takes a lot of courage and there is a high risk of being rejected
  
• You know very little about the person you are approaching
  
• There is a high chance they will be in a relationship already
  
• More reserved individuals may feel uncomfortable or unwilling to speak to strangers
  
• You will still get some flaky behaviour
  

 

Social groups, meetup groups and hobbies

 

Pros

• You will have at least one interest in common
  
• There is usually quite a large pool of potential daters and a high proportion will be single, though not as much as on online dating
  
• Most meetup groups provide a lengthy opportunity to get to know someone before you meet up on a date, making it likely the actual date will go well
  

 

Cons

• It requires some effort and courage, though not as much as cold approaches
  
• Some social groups may discourage or frown upon their members dating each other
  
• Some meetups and hobbies will be dominated by one gender
  
• You will still get some flaky behaviour
  

[Cookiesandough]

Interesting list. You forgot usually desperate as a con on OLD.

 

I think my ideal way to meet someone would be through a hobby or mutual friends

[alphamale]

excellent analysis

[newyorker11356]

Interesting list. You forgot usually desperate as a con on OLD.

 

I think my ideal way to meet someone would be through a hobby or mutual friends

 

Far from true.

[SevenCity]

excellent analysis

 

Agreed

 

So OP - I'm curios which methods you've used and which have been the most successful.

 

In my past, work resulted in my strongest relationships and a marriage. Right now I'm almost 100% OLD. I've found that the quality of women is not as good. Many have emotional problems, not over an ex, still hurt from a bad RL.

[mortensorchid]

You would think it would be so easy, but as I have found out, it's really not.

 

Not that we don't MEET people all the time, but for the purpose of dating people? I have given up. No one seems to try anymore, even with OLD. I think the best method possible is for someone to introduce one to another through friends and acquaintance. But I have nothing to show for that either. I seem to have a lot of friends and acquaintance but, as one former woman friend said to me once, she would not include me in anything she did let alone friend me on Facebook because that would take away from her chances of meeting men. If that's not a truly horrible thing to say to someone, I don't know what is.

 

Just keep moving forward ...