I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 So I'm wondering if I'm making a big deal. I know seeing an ex's friends is awkward. One thing though today, my bf stopped to say hi to some people he knew between him and his ex, fine whatever. He never introduced me and told me the reason was because he wanted to bury the past and have nothing to do w/them. If I don't want to deal w/someone and felt like they had done something wrong, I wouldn't associate w/them whatsoever. Thing is he saw them a couple months ago, pointed them out (idk who they are, don't care) and said how awkward it was and at that time it made me feel like it was awkward because I was there. Am I in the wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 How long ago did they break up? If you got together shortly after he may not want to rub it into his exes face. I don't really like running into my exes friends with my new SO. I know they're sizing him up and everything he says or does will get back to my ex. It's just uncomfortable. I wouldn't read too much into it. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 How long have they been split up and how long have you been going out? I can't really say that there is reason for concern, as this could be a method of keeping the past in the past and creating a separation, but I would definitely be paying attention, as something isn't sitting right with me. He states he wants "nothing to do" with them; however, makes a specific trip to stop in and say "hi." (where? Do you work together) He didn't stop in to say "hi" to you. If he bumped into the ex's friends when visiting you, that's one thing, but you state he specifically stopped in to see them. If he wants nothing to do with them, he wouldn't be making a specific trip just to visit them. When he was there, was he a little avoidant towards you, like he didn't want to make it obvious you are a couple? Maintaining communication with HER friends and they know about you could mean they feed the ex information about you. If these two aren't split or are reconciling or he's hoping they reconcile, he wouldn't want them to know about you. They could warn you about him and how he is as a boyfriend, like he cheated repeatedly, etc. They could make your life miserable for "stealing" her man. The fact he pointed them out to you is good, but it seems a little evasive to me that upon stopping by, it wasn't to see you (but people he wants nothing to do with) and he didn't make any efforts to specifically introduce you, which would be awkward, I know, so in part I can understand a little. As mutual friends that they met as a couple, and not her friends specifically, that's a little different. With splits, you don't necessarily drop the people you met when dating either, and you just have to deal with it, but this situation seems off, so I don't know if this is reason for concern just yet. Maybe it's time to have a talk. The thing that gets me is stating he wants "nothing to do with them" but stops by to see them. Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 The context of the interactions matter; a quick hello after running into them in public is fine. He may not want to be perceived as rude, even if he isn't interested in socializing with them. If he's trying to act like he's alone or hides your existence when he does run into these people, that's a bit shady and I'd question him about it. She's moved on, he's moved on, there's no reason to be secretive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 How long have they been split up and how long have you been going out? I can't really say that there is reason for concern, as this could be a method of keeping the past in the past and creating a separation, but I would definitely be paying attention, as something isn't sitting right with me. He states he wants "nothing to do" with them; however, makes a specific trip to stop in and say "hi." (where? Do you work together) He didn't stop in to say "hi" to you. If he bumped into the ex's friends when visiting you, that's one thing, but you state he specifically stopped in to see them. If he wants nothing to do with them, he wouldn't be making a specific trip just to visit them. When he was there, was he a little avoidant towards you, like he didn't want to make it obvious you are a couple? Maintaining communication with HER friends and they know about you could mean they feed the ex information about you. If these two aren't split or are reconciling or he's hoping they reconcile, he wouldn't want them to know about you. They could warn you about him and how he is as a boyfriend, like he cheated repeatedly, etc. They could make your life miserable for "stealing" her man. The fact he pointed them out to you is good, but it seems a little evasive to me that upon stopping by, it wasn't to see you (but people he wants nothing to do with) and he didn't make any efforts to specifically introduce you, which would be awkward, I know, so in part I can understand a little. As mutual friends that they met as a couple, and not her friends specifically, that's a little different. With splits, you don't necessarily drop the people you met when dating either, and you just have to deal with it, but this situation seems off, so I don't know if this is reason for concern just yet. Maybe it's time to have a talk. The thing that gets me is stating he wants "nothing to do with them" but stops by to see them. He never stopped in to see them, we ran into them while out and about. Thing for me is, if you feel like they did shady things, then don't talk to them at all. Earlier in the relationship he mentioned hesitating to go to certain places cause he may bump into mutual friends. He saw them a couple months ago as well and mentioned to his friend that it was awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 How long ago did they break up? If you got together shortly after he may not want to rub it into his exes face. I don't really like running into my exes friends with my new SO. I know they're sizing him up and everything he says or does will get back to my ex. It's just uncomfortable. I wouldn't read too much into it. The way I see it is, its gonna go back to his ex regardless. If he doesn't introduce me, it'll look like he is embarrassed or has something to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts