knight192 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hi, I am seeing that girl since 3 weeks with who i am having the best sex i ever had - and how ? because she we are sexually connected and she is quite into kink stuff as I am. She is very experienced in it and I am not but I always have been attracted to it. In a way she is helping me to understand myself and my boundaries and what I actually like as I am still trying to know myself. However she told me she wasn't after a serious relationship. I don't really mind as I feel like though we are sexually connected, I don't think I can see any future with her. I am attracted by her but more sexually that something else. Yesterday I just got the number of a waitress that I found very beautiful and charming (i use to see her in that cafe since a good year). I just started talking to her and she wants to see me. Anyway, here is my wonder: That girl i am currently dating, we are sexually connected in kinky and she helps me a lot to understand my sexual drives. I had with my ex -girlfriend problem with vanilla sex and it led me to break ups. My problem is, I have someone with who I can experience new things and discover and understand myself but with who i am not sure to see a future. In another hand I just met someone that motivates me a lot in trying to settle down but it means giving up that other girl and very good sexual connection to someone I am not sure it will sexually work but with who I am very attracted to How am I suppose to manage the situation ? What am I suppose to do ? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 (edited) Depends on your priorities. You want to find someone who is looking for someone serious or not? That should be an easy decision. What is more important to you at this time in your life? If it were me I would dump the sex chick and date the waitress. If the waitress doesn't work out call up the sex chick for more rounds because she will always be available. The sex chick probably has many d&*^ks in the fire anyways. Edited February 18, 2018 by smackie9 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight192 Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 I'd like a serious relationship with someone I actually like, but I think it's also important to understand my sexual drives. What do I do if I give up that current girl and I have sex issue with that girl I fancy and it leads us to a break up (again) ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight192 Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 (edited) is sexual connection not important in a relationship? Edited February 18, 2018 by knight192 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 You have to ask yourself if you want quality or quantity. I think with the girl you're getting the sex from that you like is more quantity. Do you foresee a future with her? I'm guessing you don't, other than the sex. Because ... That's just what it is. I was with someone years ago who I was having great sex with but we didn't have an actual relationship. Honestly I wasn't interested in it, we had nothing in common and we were just interested in each others' bodies. I think that's all you're really interested in with the woman you're having lots of sex with now. Want a real relationship? It's probably not with the woman in question, it's with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 It's a no-brainer to me. I'd date the waitress and thank sex chic for the good times. The waitress might be all that AND interested in a long term relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 There's no reason to choose one right now. Id go on a few dates with the waitress and see how that goes before rocking the boat with the current one. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Sex is important but a meaningful relationship gives you fulfillment which is far more superior to any kink. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 I'd like a serious relationship with someone I actually like, but I think it's also important to understand my sexual drives. What do I do if I give up that current girl and I have sex issue with that girl I fancy and it leads us to a break up (again) ? You slam her a couple of times, and if she isn't into kink you break up with her. How else are you going to find someone who is seriously into a relationship and is sexually compatible? That sex girl will always be available. You can call her up again if things don't work out. Dude please don't hold onto hope that sex girl will want something serious with you...that isn't happening so get that out of your head. She doesn't want that with you, and she has been pretty clear about that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 To add, most women and guys too would agree, if they were dating someone they like and found out their date was enjoying 50 shades of grey with someone else at the same time...even long after it was over, it would be a dealbreaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight192 Posted February 23, 2018 Author Share Posted February 23, 2018 I took into consideration all your replies. I had my first date with the waitress on Monday and it went really really well. I know she is really interested, so I am. We kissed and texted every day and are seeing again tomorrow eve. Some friends told me I shouldn't end it up with the sex girl now because I'm just getting to know the waitress and I don't want to risk losing the sex girl just in case it doesn't work with her and that I shouldn't be so enthusiastic and be more casual about it. What do you think ? When should I end it up with the sex girl ? Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Assuming you haven't become exclusive with kink girl yet, you've got free rein to date the waitress. Ideally the best course of action would be to wait and see whether you and the waitress are sexually compatible, and you may have to ease into kink stuff with her just to see if she's interested in that. But you might have to put kink girl on hold for a while, since I don't think the waitress would be all that happy with you sleeping with someone else just as you're starting to date. Be honest with kink girl, she should hopefully understand you're after something long term. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 (edited) Sex is important but a meaningful relationship gives you fulfillment which is far more superior to any kink. on repeat from winny.. i have found with knowing men....that when they think with their little head...instead of their big head they normally make really big mistakes......what is your big head telling you what i know of kink...is that if you continually do it it becomes non kink...so you up the stakes.....and try kinkier stuff....until you figure out you dont have to jump out of a plane naked and do doggy style with your jumping buddy doing some karma sutra reverse doggy style with a dildo attached to your nose.... you finally realise you dont need that kink.... to have a very satisfying sex life in a meaningful relationship and keep a woman interested...you just have to listen and be interested in pleasing her.....love her and if its right ....she feels the same for you because you both mutually want to give the other pleasure in a meaningful and close relationship that also includes non sexual affection...now thats a real lover..... sex is all about learning about the one you are with ...not the one you had before who liked kink or the one who didnt like your sexual performance.......i wish you well....and without having to do the dildo on the nose thing to prove your sexual prowess...sex is learning about the one you are with what pleases them and then doing that...my opinion if it counts for anything...is date the waitress ...and dont look back...........deb Edited February 24, 2018 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I think people easily confuse lust and love. They are in the same category, to be sure. Both are concerned with hormones and chemical reactions and whatnot, but love is long term, takes work, and has a lot of other things attached to it. Lust wanes and fades over time. When you are in a relationship based on lust is when things go crazy in a bad way, love is something else completely. Link to post Share on other sites
dude360 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Slow your horses. You haven't even entered a relationship with the waitress yet. When the time comes to choose, you will choose. Until then, enjoy the fact that you are getting the awesome sex you want while getting to go out with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight192 Posted February 27, 2018 Author Share Posted February 27, 2018 The waitress decided to end it up with me after two dates. She told me she talked to me to her parents and invited me to a wedding with her as a "boyfriend" (only on the second date!!) I find it a bit weird but thought "whatever I want to get to know her more i'm really interested". This two things plus the way she talked to me so far subconsciously made me feel pretty comfortable thinking she was already projecting herself with me. On the second date we drank together and she wanted to have a fag. Like an idiot, I told her that if things had to go more serious I'd like her to stop because I wouldn't like her to get something bad from it. She didn't say anything, but two days later she got mental to me about it saying I freaked her out and that I was acting like if we were in a relation ship just only after two dates and that she couldn't see the sparkle in me and she could tell it wouldn't work between us. I tried to explain her that I think she was mistaling me but no way to reason her. I'm really disappointed because within 28 years it is the first time i actually felt proud on the side of someone and so interested in that person. Anything I can do ? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 What to do? Carry on slamming the sex chick and wait for the next one to come along. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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